Five People Who Sort of, Kind of Miss Toby (and One Who Really, Really Doesn't)
by Steph
Summary: Not everyone feels the same way that Michael does. Which is probably a good thing.
After Goodbye Toby
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Yep, still want to keep writing Toby. Even after everything.
---
Although he would tell you otherwise if asked, Oscar really enjoyed The Finer Things Club. Sure he could admit that the theme meals were a little fussy and impractical for work and yeah the costumes were a little twee, but on days where he was stuck listening to yet another inane argument between Kevin and Angela or dealing with Michael being Michael, the thought of sipping tea and discussing literature made the day a little easier to get through.
He enjoyed meeting with Pam and Toby, two people who also seemed to appreciate books and culture. Pam was always very enthusiastic about each new book and loved the discussions. And Toby always had intelligent points to make and in this setting wasn’t afraid to argue and debate with Oscar when they disagreed over subtleties and themes. And they did occasionally disagree.
Oscar always enjoyed those spirited debates.
One day, while waiting for Pam to finish up a phone call, Toby and Oscar sat, books in hand. Toby said, “Hey Oscar?” and then asked him in Spanish if he liked the book.
Surprised, Oscar answered back in Spanish until Toby put up his hand and said, “Wait. Slow down. I’m still learning.”
“Okay,” Oscar said. “Say something else.”
So Toby did. Technically he did an okay job (his tenses and word choices were mostly correct), but there was something about hearing Spanish being spoken in Toby’s slow, oddly mumbly voice that Oscar found very amusing.
Toby sounded like he was being dubbed. Very poorly dubbed.
“Oh well,” Toby said, noticing that Oscar was trying hard not to laugh. “I guess I get an A for effort.”
“No,” Oscar said. “It was fine. Any particular reason you’re learning Spanish?”
“I don’t know. For Costa Rica.”
“You’re going to Costa Rica? When?”
Toby shrugged. “I don’t know. Like in twenty years or something. When I retire. So I have plenty of time to master the language. But you know, it might not even happen. I might not go at all.”
But Toby did go. He went nineteen and a half years early, a few weeks after he had a momentarily lapse of judgment and did a “bad touch” in the parking lot followed by a quite impressive sprint over a fence.
Oscar and Pam decided to keep the club going. At their first meeting with just the two of them, the book was interesting and the food was good, but something felt different. It felt weird without Toby.
And Oscar was trying, but he quickly lost interest in the point he was trying to make and Pam was so sweet, but she seemed distracted too.
About halfway through, Jim came and sat down with them. Pam shushed him at first and smiled apologetically at Oscar, but within minutes the two of them were laughing over something Oscar didn’t get and Jim was doing some impression of Dwight (which was impeccable as usual) and even as Oscar smiled in appreciation, he was standing up, gathering his book and beret.
“Don’t go,” Pam said, but she was giggling again and Jim was making some face at her and it was pretty much a lost cause.
“It’s okay. We’ll talk about the book later,” Oscar said, even though he knew somehow that this would be the last meeting of The Finer Things Club.
It was really no big deal, Oscar thought to himself walking toward his desk. It was just their stupid club with their silly hats and food.
But still it had been a nice break from work. Nice to have intellectually stimulating discussions with coworkers.
Because seriously. Who was he going to have deep conversations with around here?
Kevin? Kelly? Michael? Creed?
He supposed that he could have stayed in the break room with Pam and Jim, but he didn’t want to feel like a third wheel. Or like the only adult sitting at the kids table.
“Hey, Kevin,” Oscar asked, turning his computer back on. “Read any good books lately?”
Kevin swallowed the mass of M&Ms in his mouth. “Nope.”
Oscar nodded, looking at his computer screen. He frowned. He wasn’t quite ready to go back to work yet.
“Oscar?”
“Yeah?”
“Want to play paper football until Angela gets back?”
“Sure,” Oscar said.
Paper football was always fun, and as he played, Oscar told himself that he much preferred it to the silly Finer Things Club.
He almost believed it.
---
Kelly had high hopes for Holly.
Kelly thought she could show her the ropes and tell her all kinds of important things (like to say no if Angela ever asked her to join the Party Planning Committee and to stay as far away from Creed as possible) and they could go shopping together.
Holly was kind of mousy and plain and had never ever even seen Gossip Girl which was kind of sad at first, but then kind of awesome because it was just like in the movies where the hot, popular girl (that would be Kelly) took the sad, unstylish girl (that would be Holly) under her wing and gave her a makeover.
But Holly didn’t seem to want a makeover and wasn’t interested when Kelly mentioned setting her up with one of Darryl’s hot friends. Because she seemed to like Michael. And Michael liked her back which was sweet, but also annoying because Michael was always in the annex. Like always.
And Michael did this thing that really pissed her off.
He would talk about Ryan. Like all the time. And he would tell Holly how perfect Ryan was - really sharp, and good looking and he was obviously framed because someone envied how perfect he was. Or something.
And Holly seemed to believe him.
Michael’s other favorite topic with Holly was Toby and how horrible he was. Toby was the ugliest, stupidest person around and Michael was afraid that Costa Rica wouldn’t want him either and would probably send him back.
And it was so wrong. Because Ryan was a jerk and treated her badly and was short and had a stupid beard. And Toby wasn’t ugly or stupid and was even kind of cool in his own uncool way.
It pissed her off how wrong Michael was.
One time she tried to set Holly straight. Told her Ryan was the evil one and Toby was nice. And Holly had smiled at her and said she had only met Toby on his last day and he had seemed very nice, but Kelly thought she was only saying that to shut her up and actually believed what Michael said.
But what Kelly was saying was true. Toby was mostly too serious, but sometimes he could be fun. Back when it was just her and Toby in the annex they played Dunderball and sometimes Michael would have some stupid meeting and they wouldn’t go and no one seemed to notice. Michael rarely came to the annex.
Not like now. Now he was here all the time.
One day she overheard him going on and on about Toby and it annoyed her so much that she wrote Toby an email.
In her email, after telling Toby to get a MySpace page ASAP so they could be friends and letting him know what was going on with Darryl and all her favorite celebrities (Do they have Access Hollywood in Costa Rica, Toby?) and asking him if he had found a girlfriend yet (You should totally get married in Costa Rica and I can come to the wedding and maybe be a bridesmaid. Oh! I just bought this awesome pink dress that’s tight, but not slutty and I could so wear it to your wedding!) and telling him who to avoid (“OMG! Britney Spears and Mel Gibson were in Costa Rica and did you see them? And if you did, did you get a picture? Please send it to me if you did! But I hope you didn’t talk to them, because Britney’s bodyguards would totally beat you up and Mel Gibson is all kinds of crazy now and hates Jewish people and you’re kind of Jewish, right? I remember that one time you brought us those Jewish chocolates that look like gold coins and I thought they were so pretty and shiny and I didn’t realize they were chocolate until I saw Kevin eating like a ton of them and I said that to Ryan and he looked at me like I was stupid. Whatever. At least I’m not in jail. Who’s stupid now, Ryan?), she told him that she totally missed him and she didn’t care what Michael or Holly thought.
But still later that day she told Holly again about all the mean things Ryan had done to her like when he ignored their anniversary and when he asked out Karen Skankapelli (yeah - she found about that) while they were dating and she had been talking for a good thirty minutes when Holly finally interrupted her, apologizing, saying that she had a really bad headache.
Kelly nodded, because Toby used to get headaches too. From his allergies.
Everyone seemed to get headaches in the annex. Except her.
Weird.
--
Dwight Schrute was an expert on many things.
Paper selling. Beet farming. Animal killing and dismembering. Battlestar Galactica.
He was definitely a well-rounded individual.
Still, there were some things he had questions about.
Human female anatomy. The act of copulation.
He had wanted to ask Michael for advice, for Michael was very knowledgeable about everything and was an expert with women. But Dwight feared scorn from Michael and decided to keep his mouth shut.
Dwight knew he could get the information he needed online, but Dwight had a love/hate relationship with the internet and he hated the idea of the internet knowing so much about him. Especially when the information was so sensitive.
The internet knew too much already.
At Toby’s sexual harassment seminar, he had said that he would answer any questions. Dwight, wisely, had taken him up on the offer. And after several seconds of blinking and stammering, Toby had answered his questions patiently.
Dwight knew Michael was right about Toby, as he was about most things.
Toby was pathetic and unloved just like Michael always said.
And yet, Dwight was grateful for Toby’s advice that day.
Although he would never say anything like that in Michael’s presence.
Toby was gone now which was unfortunate for Dwight. At Toby’s goodbye party, Dwight had momentarily reconciled with his beautiful Angela, his Monkey, only to be interrupted by that fool Phyllis. Which ruined the mood for both of them.
After Phyllis had run out, nearly tripping over her own feet, Angela started crying and yelling at him. As she fumbled with her clothes, she told him that she was an engaged woman not the office harlot and she needed to go pray and then think about things.
He dressed quickly as well, begging her to reconsider, saying he didn’t care about Andy Bernard (Dwight would never refer to that simpleton as Angela’s anything) and they could go somewhere more private and talk or continue doing what they had been doing.
Angela had given him a look that had stopped him cold and said, “Never.” And then, “You have forgotten everything you have been taught.”
Which wasn’t true. Couldn’t have been true. She was just saying that to hurt him.
But what if it were the truth?
Days later, Dwight sat at his desk, glaring at Jim who was acting like an idiot. He kept hearing Angela’s scornful voice in his head and he knew that if Angela had meant what she said, then it was in his best interest to receive more information. He needed a refresher course.
He got up from his desk and walked over to the annex. He could hear Kelly nattering away about some nonsense and stared at Holly until she looked up at him.
“Hello Dwight,” she said.
Holly had Toby’s old job so she would have the same information Toby did. Dwight opened his mouth, but changed his mind and walked away.
Holly could not be trusted with this kind of advice, both as a woman and as a newcomer.
And he still refused to ask the internet. It would only show weakness on his part and the internet would win.
There was only one solution.
He waited until he was home to make his call. It rang a couple of times and when Dwight, after hearing a faint hello, stated, “This is Dwight Schrute,” the connection was suddenly lost and all Dwight heard was a dial tone.
Costa Rica must have horrible cell phone reception.
No matter. Dwight was nothing if not persistent.
He immediately hit redial.
--
Michael was not in a good mood.
Jan had called him last night and they had gotten into some fight, because she hadn’t liked any of the names he suggested for the soon to be born kid, which was almost but not quite his.
He had already suggested Michael. And Scott.
Jan didn’t seem to like those names too much.
But then he had the most perfect name.
Jan did not agree.
“But it’s perfect,” Michael had protested. “It works both as a girl’s and a boy’s name!”
“I am not,” Jan seethed, “naming my child after a felon.”
“He was framed!” Michael protested as he always did. “I saw this episode of SVU once where that one guy was doing something with this woman - the hot one and then the cool black guy - you know who I mean - I think his name is Iced Tea or something...”
“No,” Jan interrupted. “The baby is not being named Ryan.”
“Okay, okay,” Michael said. He waited a few seconds before asking,“How about Howard?”
He woke up the next morning with a headache (from all of Jan’s yelling and crying) and it was supposed to rain today and he had forgotten his umbrella and when he was walking from his car to the building a stupid bird crapped on him.
He had a feeling it was going to be a horrible day.
Once he was in the office, Michael performed his daily ritual. Every morning, before he did anything else, Michael walked into the annex. Every morning, he sighed in relief when he saw the sweet, lovely Holly instead of that droopy eyed, whiny voiced loser who used to sit there.
Michael always feared that one day the guard would let Toby back into the building and he would be sitting there, all droopy and whiny, just itching to make Michael’s life a living hell.
But no.
Holly.
Holly looked up from her files and smiled at him. “Good morning, Michael.”
He smiled back.
It was going to be a wonderful day.
--
Toby was number three on Meredith’s list of guys at work she wanted to sleep with.
Jim was number one, because she had eyes. Oscar was number two because he was nice and Meredith liked a challenge.
Toby was number three because he wasn’t unattractive - even with those weird eyes of his - and he was nice to her that night at the bar. They were celebrating someone’s birthday, but she had been having a terrible day and sat by herself with her drink (way too weak) watching her coworkers with only minimal interest.
“Mind if I sit with you?” Toby asked her. “Michael said it would upset everyone if I sat with them.”
She guessed she didn’t mind. She gestured toward the chair.
He sat down next to her and she ordered another drink (third? fourth?). She caught him watching her and she said, pissed off, though not necessarily at him, “I’m at a bar. I’m going to drink. It’s been a crappy day.”
“I didn’t say anything,” he said, sounding very tired. “You’re not at work. What you do in your private life to escape crappy days is your business. I know what it’s like to have a crappy day and need to escape.”
Yeah. She bet he did. Rumor had it that Toby knew his way around a bong and that he “escaped” quite often.
More power to him.
“But,” Toby said. “If you’re ever interested in getting help, I have some phone numbers for you to...” He didn’t finish his sentence, sounding too weary to continue.
“Hmm,” was all she said. She was feeling pretty weary herself.
“Or you could just tell me why your day was so crappy.”
She supposed she could. He seemed fairly interested and she couldn’t remember the last time anyone at work was even remotely interested in her life. So she told him about a particularly ugly fight she had with her ex because of Jake getting suspended again.
“I’m sorry,” he said to her, sounding like he meant it.
She knew she could give him more details - more reasons why she didn’t feel like socializing with her coworkers, but she didn’t feel like talking anymore so she asked him what was making his life so crappy.
He sighed, sat back in his seat. And then he told her about the meeting with his lawyer about his upcoming custody battle and how his chances of getting full custody of his daughter were slim to none, but he would be okay just getting a few more days a week. He wasn’t sure he’d even be able to get that.
As he was talking two thoughts came to her. The first one was that he was so unlike her ex; he actually seemed to care about his kid. She would bet he even willingly paid child support too. The second thought she had was that she really wanted to sleep with him tonight.
It had probably been a long time for him, she guessed as she drank. She wondered if he’d be really hesitant and shy around her and if she’d have to be the one to take charge. She wouldn’t mind. Quite the opposite. She could have a lot of fun with him.
Then again, she thought as she half-listened to him talk about how his ex wasn’t a bad person or anything, maybe he wouldn’t be like that at all. Maybe he’d have so much pent up frustration that he would have her up against the door before they’d have a chance to lock it.
She gulped the last of her drink as she let herself imagine that possibility.
Yeah. That would work too.
“Thank you for listening, Meredith,” Toby said, interrupting her dirty thoughts. “I think it helps to talk sometimes.”
She nodded. “I think it would help if we had sex tonight. Knock that depression right out of you.”
He opened his mouth and said, “Oh.”
She smiled, waited.
“I... well, I... don’t... if...I have to pick up Sasha early tomorrow. She has a very early dental appointment with a dentist she hates.” He was frowning again. “I kind of hate the guy too.”
Meredith was disappointed, but it really wasn’t the end of the world. She wondered if he were lying. No biggie either way. “Who does she go to?” she asked.
“Dr. Hall. He’s in this building not too far from my place and he’s open on Saturdays so that’s a plus.”
Meredith knew exactly who he was talking about. “God. That guy’s an asshole. Jake hated him too. We go to Dr. Nichols now. So much better. I’ll find her number and give it to you on Monday.”
He stood up. “Thanks a lot, Meredith.”
“No problem. Sasha will love her.”
“No,” he said. He tapped his fingers nervously against the table before saying, “Thanks for...well. No. Just thank you.”
She grinned at him. No hard feelings. “Anytime.”
He smiled back at her, still slightly nervous. “Alright. And if you ever want to talk again...”
“Yeah. You too.”
So they didn’t sleep together that night. The possibility was always in the back of her mind though.
Jim seemed pretty attached to Pam and Oscar still seemed to prefer men, but Toby was still sad and still not unattractive - even with those weird eyes of his - and had listened to her at the bar and hadn’t explicitly said no when she propositioned him so even though he had that dopey crush on Pam, he was now pretty much at the top of her list.
She did take him up on his offer to talk a few times. It was strangely comforting sitting in the annex with him, telling him her troubles. He really seemed to understand.
And then he was just gone. Gone to Costa Rica with Holly (bitch!) as his replacement. Which really kind of sucked.
He was a good listener and it was nice knowing he was there to talk to and it sucked that he was gone because he knew what it was like to have issues with a kid or an ex or an ex’s new spouse who was so much better than you could ever hope to be and who was she supposed to talk to about that now? Holly (bitch!)?
And on top of that, she didn’t get the chance to sleep with him before he left. Which really sucked because the more she thought about it the more she was really starting to like the up against the door idea.
Hmm...
She wondered if he was planning a visit back to Scranton anytime soon.
---
Jim’s admirer in the ice cream parlor was young, blonde, adorable and screamed his name so excitedly that everyone else in line turned to watch them.
“Pam,” Jim said. “You remember the coolest eight year old around, right?”
Pam smiled. “Of course I do. Hi Sasha.”
Sasha’s mother stood behind her, just as blonde as her daughter, but much more uncomfortable looking. Jim nodded at her. “Carrie, right?”
“Good memory,” Carrie said. “And you’re Jim, the best babysitter in the world.”
“Wow,” Pam said. “That’s quite an accomplishment. I’m very impressed.”
“It’s a lot to live up to.” Then to Carrie he said, “This is my fiancee, Pam.”
Pam loved it when he said that.
“Jim!” Sasha said, grabbing his hand. When she had his full attention, she told him all about her mean teacher, and her friends and her ballet class and her new puppy. And then, to conclude the update on her life, she said, “My dad’s far away.”
Jim didn’t seem to know what to say to that. “I...Yeah, I know.”
“Have you heard from Toby at all?” Pam asked Carrie. “Do you know how he’s doing?”
After she asked that, Pam felt silly. This was his ex-wife. The divorce, from what she had heard, had not been too pleasant. Maybe they didn’t talk at all. She was just about to apologize when she noticed something.
It was very subtle - how Carrie’s face changed. Her mouth tightened, her jaw seemed to tense and her eyes quickly went to her daughter, before she rearranged her expression into something resembling pleasant indifference and said, “He’s fine, thank you.”
She was lying, Pam knew, and something about it sort of worried her.
Pam met Jim’s eyes and it was obvious that he picked up on something as well.
“Hey, Sasha,” Jim said. “I was wondering if you could help me with a very difficult decision. I want a sundae, but I just can’t decide what kind of ice cream and what toppings to get. I was hoping you’d assist me.”
“Sure,” Sasha said and the two of them turned so they were facing the ice cream and as they began debating vanilla versus chocolate, hot fudge versus butterscotch, Pam talked to Carrie.
In the car, Pam told Jim what Carrie had told her. That Toby had called them a few times and emailed and though he had sounded fine at first now he was starting to sound really weird. Odd. Distant. Unhappy. Really unhappy.
“I told him to come back if he’s so damned miserable,” Carrie said, sounding both exasperated and concerned. “But he won’t. God forbid he do something that would make him a little less miserable.”
“She sounded concerned,” Pam said to Jim. “Like she cared about his
well-being.”
“He’s her daughter’s father,” Jim said. “No matter what happened between them, there’s still that.”
“I know,” Pam said. “I just always thought Toby’s ex would be this mean, hateful woman because of the custody battle and how he always was and everything. But she wasn’t like that at all.”
“Yeah,” Jim said. “How’s your ice cream?”
“Good,” Pam said. She wasn’t quite ready to change the subject yet. “It makes me sad though that he’s still unhappy,” Pam said. “Maybe he should come back. Maybe he’ll be happier near Sasha.”
“Maybe.”
“I miss him,” Pam admitted. “He was always one of those people who would really listen to you. And he was nice.” When Jim didn’t say anything, she said, “I know something happened to him last year. I know he got weird around you...weird around me. Just weird in general, but I still kind of miss him.”
Pam thought about something Carrie had said to her, right before she called to Sasha to pick something because they were running late, “I’ll tell you something,” Carrie said. “If he does move back here, I hope he’s smart enough not to return to your office. I think that boss of yours really did a number on him.”
Pam wondered if that’s all it was. If Michael’s constant verbal abuse had just gotten too much for him. Pam didn’t know for sure obviously, but she didn’t think it was just Michael. There had to have been more to Toby’s unusual behavior and sudden departure than that, right?
“You don’t miss him at all?” Pam asked Jim, because he hadn’t said anything for awhile.
Jim shrugged. “I don’t know. I mean we were friends once and everything, but he was kind of losing it and he acted so inappropriately around us and I was just uncomfortable around him. He made me nervous.”
“I know,” Pam said. She sighed, looking at her hands in her lap. “I just really hoped things would get better for him.”
“Yeah,” Jim said. His tone was different, softer, more serious somehow, and she knew he was telling the truth when he said, “I did too.”
The End
Steph is the author of 37 other stories.
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