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Valentine's Day circa 1st grade

Kindergarten’s Valentine’s day wasn’t quite the same as 1st grade’s. In kindergarten, we had all made the cards in class and just drew/scribbled pictures on the front. It didn’t express how we had been feeling, and it felt mandatory. This year I was able to personalize some which felt important to me.

My mother took me shopping the weekend before the holiday and helped me pick out a box of pre-made cards. I, of course, was going to add my artistic touch but knew it was much easier just to let the professionals handle the cardmaking. I remember running into the house, pulling the thin box of cards out of the grocery bag, and throwing it on the kitchen table. My mom just stood back and watched me, smiling to herself. I kicked my shoes off and ran to my room, grabbing all the markers and crayons I could find. 

Crawling up onto the big chair, I pulled the box over and ripped it open, pulling the little perforated cards apart and making piles of type. There was a plain Happy Valentine’s Day, a ‘Friend’s forever,’ ‘You are Dino-Mite!’ with a picture of a dinosaur, and ‘Bee-Mine’ with a smiling bee. I knew I would only need one of those "Bee" cards. 

Mr. Scott had sent home a list of our classmates' names so our parents could ensure we didn't forget anyone. He thought everyone deserved a card no matter if we talked to them or were friends with them. Of course, his name was also on the list, and I'm pretty sure he bolded his name. 

I started first with the envelopes. Taking them all out of the box, my mom helped me to write everyone's names on the front. Some I added more flair by drawing little hearts or stars around their names. 

When I got to Jimmy’s name on the list, I stared at the blank envelope, trying to come up with a spectacular drawing. What was I going to draw to express how he made me feel? How could I express myself through the imagery to show him what I meant? Even at that young age, I knew it was possible to show feelings in pictures. 

I leaned over the table and snagged a yellow marker. I drew a big circle in the middle of the envelope and colored it. Then I started adding wavy lines coming out from the circle. It needed some more color; yellow wasn’t enough. I snagged the orange marker next, made a border around the yellow circle, and added more orange wavy lines. When I put the marker down to scan my work, I thought it looked good, not excellent, not perfect, but pretty good. It felt like it was missing something. I finished it up by adding a couple more lines and leaned back in my chair to admire my work. Perfect. It was a sun with a bright smiley face, and that was exactly how he always made me feel. Every day was bright, sunny, and happy, as if he would always brighten it up no matter how the day turned out. I carefully wrote his name in the middle of the sun, making sure it didn’t bleed through the yellow, and stuffed the little card I’d written a note on into the envelope and sealed it up. I held the card in my hand, looking at it for a few seconds, then set it aside carefully away from the other finished cards. It deserved its own recognition. 

That week of school had felt so long because of the wait, but when the big holiday finally arrived, I was more than ready. In the morning, we all worked on making small paper mailboxes that we would hang on the front of our desks to hold the cards we were receiving. Not surprisingly, Mr. Scott had also made a mailbox, but his was more prominent and featured a headshot of himself on the front. Which, oddly enough, didn't seem weird. 

When we walked around the room passing out the cards, I saved Jimmy’s for last, hoping maybe he’d be back at his desk when I slipped it through the paper slot. As I dropped each card into all the mailboxes, I whispered to myself their names making a mental checklist. 

“Kelly, Katy, Roy, Mindy, Ryan, Brian……Jimmy.”

I had hoped correctly, and he was back at his desk. I didn’t make eye contact when I slid the brightly colored envelope into his mailbox, but I could feel him watching me. I held down a smile by biting the side of my bottom lip, but it was always a losing battle. I looked up without thinking and met his eyes. The futile attempt to control my smile was over, and I grinned from ear to ear.

“Thanks.” He mumbled. 

I just turned and walked back to my desk. My cheeks were hot and matched the pink sweater I was wearing. 

“Is everyone done passing out their cards?” Mr. Scott was at the front of the class holding his mailbox, shaking it back and forth. “Alright, let’s open them.” 

I poured my cards out on my desk and started recognizing handwriting. Some I didn’t recognize and looked like adult handwriting. Some of the kids had their parents help them. I wouldn't know who they were until I opened them. I grabbed the first envelope and tore it open. It was a pretty purple envelope that I assumed was from Kelly. Two animals were playing on the swings on the front, just perfect. I flipped it over to read ‘Best Friends Forever Happy Valentine’s Day.’ I turned and saw Kelly reading some of her cards. I held my hand up, holding the card, and whispered to her.

“Hey"

Her response was practically yelling. “Oh my God, love it? Look, it’s us on the swings! I saw this in the store, and I had to have it. None of the other cards in the box were good, so my mommy got me another box with better ones, but I had to have those for you. It’s so great. Look at all these cards I got. I haven’t found Ryan’s yet, but I bet it’ll be the best. Oh…” She looked down at her stack and was distracted enough for me to turn back to my desk quietly. 

I continued opening cards and reading them, and with each one, I held my breath until I saw the signature. Then I'd have to reread it to remember what it was. I got a lot of plain ‘Happy Valentine’s Day’ cards which was understandable. I was a quiet/shy kid. I didn’t talk to everyone, so I was okay with it. 

When I got to a card that read ‘Will you be my valentine?’ I knew it had to be Jimmy's. I couldn't even imagine it being from anyone else. When I turned the card over in my hand, I had a mini-heart attack, ‘Roy.’ Wait! What? Roy? Of all the people, I thought he hated me. It was confusing. Boys, they're complicated. I remember stuffing the card firmly back in the envelope and setting it to the side so I could read it later and try and comprehend it with a clearer mind. 

I took the next one and recognized my name. This one was from him, no doubt.

‘Bee-Mine’. It was the same card, exactly. I chuckled and stopped when I realized I'd made an audible noise. I felt his eyes burning through my skin from across the aisle. I'm sure he could see my heart right there in the classroom. I started smiling before I looked up.

“Thanks” My eyes darted towards his direction, but I never looked into his eyes. I saw his mouth, his chest, his hands, but never his eyes. It was too hard. 

“I liked my card too. I will keep the envelope since you worked so hard on it. I was really careful when I opened it.” I finally looked up at him and saw his face gleaming with joy. I looked away, down at his desk. He hadn’t opened anyone else’s card yet, I felt embarrassed, having already opened numerous before getting to his, but I'm sure he hadn't noticed.

 

All in all, it was a good day, but what to do with Roy?

Chapter End Notes:
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

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