Chapter 2

A few weeks into my new world, I found myself racing to my favorite spot across the playground for recess—the swings. Jimmy was running alongside me to get there first, which had caught me by surprise since he hadn't played on them yet. I remember picking up the pace, sprinting across the grass, just trying to beat him. He teased me as we ran side by side, pushing me a little on the shoulder. Not enough to make me fall but sufficient for me to lose my stride. Just as we both stepped onto the sand, he pushed me harder, and I stumbled away from the swing. He sat down first and started pumping his legs before I even got the chance to grab the chains.

I quickly sat down, pulled my skirt from below me, and kicked my legs, pulling my arms harder than I ever had. My skirt was floating behind me, flapping gently against my legs. After a few minutes, I looked to my right and saw him sitting there watching me. I hadn't noticed, in my enthusiasm, that he had stopped and was kicking the sand beneath him. He was just watching me pump like a mad woman. I smiled, thinking I had beaten him, but when the left corner of his mouth curved upwards in a sly smile, I was embarrassed and looked away quickly. He jumped off and let the next kid jump on, and my palms began to sweat against the cool metal chains.

He carefully walked behind my swing and leaned against the metal pole staring at me. This movement made me incredibly uncomfortable and nervous. I couldn’t understand what he was doing and why. I stopped kicking my legs and dragged them along the ground, messing up my perfectly white tennis shoes. When I stepped off the swing, I held my head high and walked away. I heard him chuckle behind me and run toward the other boys. When I turned back, we made eye contact, and I stuck out my tongue. Boys, they were so complicated.

I remember sitting on those swings every day, trying to reach higher and higher up to the sky. The boys would always jump off and land flat on their bottoms, but I didn’t have the guts to jump. Still, to this day, I can't bring myself to jump. I wasn’t very adventurous. I even acquired the nickname Lammy Pammy at one point. It didn't matter, though. I adored the swings. The way the air ran through my thick mess of hair felt so good and calming. The air would pull it off my shoulders and away from my neck, letting the cool breeze rush across my skin. To this day, I still walk by parks and eye the swing set.