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Author's Chapter Notes:

Okay, nothing too original here, but I know I personally don't mind reading some of the same themes over and over, so I hope you guys are up for one more.  Should be three parts, and I'll hopefully get them all posted before Thursday.  (squee!)  Many, many thanks to the brilliant Nomadshan for her mad beta skillz.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Pam realized about thirty seconds too late that Jim wasn't going to rescue her from this.

 

She had been fine (a bit nervous, maybe, but okay) up until that point.  She had smiled as she walked up the aisle on her father’s arm, she had smiled a little when he had lifted her veil and kissed her cheek, and she had smiled as Roy took her hand in his and they turned to face the minister.

 

She had smiled because none of this was really real.  At any minute, something would happen.  She would wake up, or there would be an earthquake, or something would occur to put an end to the whole business.

 

Or maybe Jim would show up and put a stop to everything.

 

She hadn't even realized that she had been hoping he would—had been counting on it, in  fact.  But when the minister had asked if anyone present knew of any reason that she and Roy may not be lawfully wed, she found herself turning her head ever so slightly towards the back of the church, straining to hear the doors fly open, the sound of his voice.

 

Instead, all Pam heard was a muffled cough, a shuffle of feet, and silence.  The minister was halfway through the scripture reading before it finally hit home to Pam—this was really happening.  This was not a movie, this was not a dream—the hero would not come racing up the aisle to carry her off in a blaze of glory.  Jim was on the other side of the world, and there was nobody here to save her except herself.

 

She began to panic.  Her heart was beating so hard—surely everyone there could hear it?  Why was the minister speeding through the program like this?  He was going so fast!  Everything was going so fast!  The blood rushed in her ears—she could barely hear the minister now.

 

Roy, standing tall and handsome beside her in his rented tux, must have felt the way her hand was shaking, because he gave it a quick squeeze and shot her a sidelong smile before turning his focus back to the minister.  Pam could only gape at him, horrified.  How in the world was he reassuring her?

 

This was not happening.  This couldn't be happening.

 

The minister was praying now.  Oh, god...the vows were next and she couldn't, she just couldn't, but how could she not?  She was here and she was trapped and there was no way out.  She was going to be sick...

 

Maybe she could sneak out while everyone's head was bowed?  If she could just maneuver her skirt...

 

But no, it was too late, the prayer was over and the minister turned to face her.

 

 Oh, god.  What do I do?  What do I do?  I can't.  I can't.  Please don't ask me...I can't.

And then the minister had asked her the question, and everyone was staring, waiting for her response.  Roy was smiling nervously down at her. The minister was gazing expectantly, his eyebrows raised above his bifocals.  She felt the weight of a hundred pairs of eyes drilling into the back of her head. 

They were all waiting. 

 

And waiting.

 

And her silence was getting awkward now, and she could hear people shifting nervously in their seats.

 

She had to do something.  Anything.

                                   

A last desperate idea occurred to her, but it was ridiculous.  She couldn't do that.  The very thought was preposterous.  She tried to shrug it off.

 

But, oops, too late—she was already halfway to the floor.

 

It occurred to her as she fell that perhaps pretending to faint was not the most graceful way to make an exit from your own wedding.  Her voluminous white skirt rode up as she slipped down the risers, exposing a fairly indecent amount of leg and tulle for the world to see.  And her carefully coiffed hair was ruined beyond all repair.

 

But she just kept her eyes squeezed shut, praying that someone would stop Dwight before he was able to attempt mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.


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