6:30 AM

Angela wakes up early, even on the weekends.  It’s a habit she’s always had, and it became even more pronounced while she was in a relationship – that’s the way she tries to make of herself think of it – with Dwight.  She wakes up early, next to the man she loves with all of her heart against her will, a man who is absolutely not her fiancée, and she can’t seem to think of a different way to show him that she still loves him despite herself besides living in sin.  As she gets out of bed, Dwight sits up and puts on his glasses.  She shuts the bathroom door behind herself, and she knows that when she gets out of the shower, he will be gone, the bed neatly made and coffee brewing in the kitchen, her favorite mug at the ready, the ceramic cow in the refrigerator freshly refilled with cream from the carton on the bottom shelf.  A though hits her as she is rinsing the conditioner out of her hair, the thought that if – no, when, she reminds herself – when she marries Andy, Dwight will never make their bed in the morning, never grind her fresh coffee, never refill the little ceramic cow ever again.  The though makes her gasp, sputtering in the warm water, and tear prick at her eyes.  Shaking herself, she turns the water to cold to regain her composure, and then turns it off.  She dries off and dresses, and finds the kitchen exactly as she knew it would be, with one addition.  Dwight’s favorite mug is in the disk rack, already used and carefully washed out.  She thinks of the mornings that they used to share, and she sits down at the table and lets the tears fall.  Ash mewls at her feet for a moment before she realizes that she’s four minutes late in feeding the cats.

11:27 AM

Her groceries neatly put away where they belong, Angela lets herself take time to work on her newest needlepoint, perched on the edge of the sofa, the Christian radio station playing quietly in the background.  It keeps her mind off of her morning, and more importantly, off of the future and the decisions she needs to make.  The phone rings, and she ignores it.  The ringing stops, and then starts again a moment later, and her answering machine picks up.  Hey babe, it’s me…you know, Andy, your fiancé?  Your affianced hubs-to-be?  Anyway, I just got off the phone with a Disney wedding representative, and I’m really feeling a Magic Kingdom ceremony…I know you’ll love the ideas I had.  And Mickey Mouse could be our officiant!  How sweet-tastic would that be?  Anywho, call me back when you get this.  I love you.  Angela realizes how hard she’s gripping her needlepoint and carefully sets it on the coffee table.  She gets up and walks into the kitchen, flicking the radio off.  She distracts herself with making lunch for herself and the cats, checking her watch to make sure that she’s feeding them on time, unlike earlier.  Washing her hands, she takes her salad to the table and eats it slowly, concentrating on each bite of crisp lettuce and each thin slice of cucumber, but she still feels the anger rising.  She feels broken, and she knows that in all reality, it has nothing to do with Mickey Mouse.

12:54 PM

Pulling into Andy’s apartment complex, Angela parks as far from Andy’s car as she can manage, and pulls her engagement ring off of her finger.  She takes a deep breath, then another, and then touches her cross for strength.  Stepping out of the car, she wraps her hand around the ring and makes her way to his front door.  The going is slow, thanks to her thoughts and the way her limbs are vibrating with sorrow and joy at the same time.  She knocks with the hand containing the ring, and he opens the joy with a vibrant smile on his face.  She finds herself wavering for a split second, his bright Ang! making her wonder if she really could love him someday.  She looks up at him, and decides that even though she knows she’ll never love him, he needs to know the truth so that someone else can have the chance to love him someday.  She opens her hand, then, and he looks down, confused.  She wants to explain it all to him, but she can’t really explain it all to herself, so she simply says I don’t think this is going to work, and tips the ring into his open hand.  He looks like he’s going to protest, to do something ridiculous like get down on his knees and beg, but he just smiles a sad little smile at her.  She turns on her heel then, and walks away before he could do something that would embarrass both of them, and his door is already shut by the time she buckles her seatbelt.

3:03 PM

She realizes that she’s late, for the second time today – her Charity Club meeting at church had started at 3:00.  She gathers up the things she needs to bring with her, a box canned goods she’d already set aside and two small quilts she had made since the last meeting, and drives carefully to the church, obeying the traffic laws and the speed limits like she always does.  She enters the meeting room in the basement twelve minutes late, and all of the women somehow instantly notice her lack of engagement ring.  It wasn’t working out, she snaps, and the drop it.  In the box of canned goods she brought, she finds a jar of pickled beets – Dwight must have added it that morning before he left – and suddenly the tears are pricking her eyes again, because he knows her, he knows her so well, and she’s up and out of the meeting in a moment, the other women whispering behind her back as she goes.  She can make it to the farm in forty minutes.

3:52 PM

She makes it there in thirty-eight minutes, only allowing herself to go slightly faster than the speed limit once she reaches the unpaved road that leads to his property.  She slows down on the dirt driveway, and then parks the car next to his, in front of the house.  Mose is on the porch, whittling something as always, and as Angela gets out of the car, his eyes light up in recognition and joy, joy for his cousin who has been so torn.  He is gone in a flash, slipping inside the front door before Angela can even say anything, and then Dwight is there, cautiously approaching her, trying to keep his happiness reined in so as not to get his heart broken again.  Suddenly, she finds herself in his arms, and she doesn’t remember moving, but she must have, and she doesn’t really mind.  She’s crying again and she knows it, but this time he’s here to softly wipe the tears away and to say her name so softly she thinks she’s imagining it.

5:30 PM

They sit down at the farmhouse table in the kitchen just as they used to, Mose still beaming at Angela’s familiar presence.  Dwight sets out her favorite beet salad for with the pasta she’d made, and the three of them eat quietly.  She smiles around a forkful of beet, knowing that she and Dwight will go to bed early, like they always do.  She’ll go to be early with the man she loves, and they will wake up early the next morning to start over again.