'5x+3x^2+15' reads the next problem. Pam twiddles her pencil around as she thinks.
Why can't I just factor it out? And what in the hell is the 'magic box' method Mr. Z was talking about? (Sigh) Advanced Algebra Diff is /not/ fun.
Pam gets out her calculator, but instead of punching in formulas, she hits 'second,' 'alphabet,' and starts typing slowly, methodically. She glances over at Jim, sitting quietly a couple rows ahead of her, every so often.
"Dearest Karen,
I'm not sure how to tell you this, but...here goes. I used to like Jim. And he used to like me. We had kind of a thing. Remember how we've known each other since first grade? Well, I never liked him until 8th grade. We sat next to each other in Yearbook, and we'd talk--I used to get so excited to go to that class. I didn't know he'd liked me that whole year until a few months ago.
If I was really ever going to tell you all this, Karen, I'd stop here. But that's not even a bit of the truth.
Then, of course, it was time for high school. I forgot about him, but at the end of the year, we had english together. That was where I..well, I really almost fell in love with him. As much as a 15-year-old can comprehend of love, anyway.
It was so fun, Karen. He made me laugh, hysterically, and we'd work on projects together, like our Shakespeare collage. It looked terrible, but we had such a good time making it. He was smart, and funny, and liked good books and music and had an adorable dog.
We talked online a lot, getting to know each other, flirting with our intellects like we used to in middle school. Only, it was a lot easier to understand him (he kind of mumbled :D).
After a while, we started hanging out with each other, and you, and some other friends. Like when we went to the zoo? Karen, you and I weren't really even friends yet, so I had no idea you even liked him. That's why I was shocked when he asked you to the Jazz Dance. But even as he liked you, Jim still flirted with me.
As we spent more and more time together, he'd sit on me, or rub his leg against mine. My friends knew I liked him, but I was in denial. I knew that he was off-limits, according to a so-called "girl code." I know you don't care, Karen; you hate drama of this sort.
Remember when we had that waterballoon fight at Sarah's house, and we all got wet in our tank tops (except for you, who was wielding the camera) and shorts? He said, a few nights later online, that he had had a hot dream about me that afternoon.
I raised my eyebrows, surprised to no end. He said it had something to do with whipped cream. But you know most of this; well, not about our past, but that we liked each other a bit; even if none of us ever acknowledged it.
Anyway, on a warm night in June, we were at a friend's house. You were on vacation, I believe. And we all lied down on DA's "opium bed," an big wooden old bed where Chinese men would spoke opium decades ago, to watch a movie.
The lights turned off, and it was so dark I couldn't even see until the TV turned on. As we got situated, he moved to sit next to me. I'm still not sure how we managed it, but he had his arm around me, as we were holding hands.
I'd never held hands with a guy before; and we weren't just awkardly holding hands. I was leaning /all/ up in his shoulder and side.
His other hand stroked at my exposed stomach, from where my shirt had ridden up. I could almost taste his cologne, and our hands played around. It isn't a big deal to do this, but to me it was.
That night, online, he said he'd really wanted to sexx me. We flirted for awhile, and we sort of assumed we were going to go out. I tried to figure out how to ask my dad, since I knew he probably wouldn't approve. I told my best friend and sister, but none of my other friends, including you, obviously.
After a few days, he said:
omnomnom (12:53pm): hey pam?
matissegirl (12:53): hey jim ;)
omnomnom (12:54): so i was thinking about this as i was petting hamilton
omnomnom (12:55): i'm a tool for saying this, and i know you probably don't want to hear it, but
omnonnom (12:55): I like Karen
omnomnom (12:55): I'm sorry
I knew it was coming; I'd even asked him about you before. He'd just said you guys weren't dating (presumably because you can't until you're 16.) So I had to say I understood. I consoled myself with the fact that it never would have worked anyway.
But I really hated that after that, things weren't hte same. He'd made his choice. Normally he'd say "HOW ARE YOUR PANTS?" suggestively. But that fun atmosphere had been replaced with an awkward cautiousness.
So, Karen. Here we stand. I can never tell you this because it would only make me feel better to get it off my chest (I obviously haven't let it go, for some reason), and make you and Jim feel weird about each other. You guys are the perfect couple now, and when you guys officially start dating, I wish you all the best. Honestly. I need you to know, though, that you're a really great friend. I just can't tell you the truth now.
Luuuuuuurve, your friend Pam
***
Pam looks at the clock and realizes it's been an hour since she'd started. She gets up, walks out the door, with not a glance at Jim, great Jim, with his long brown hair and height and hands. /That/ Jim.
Story Notes:
I OWN NOTHING! (except some jello... ;D)
Author's Chapter Notes:
Disclaimer: I own nothing!
This chapter kind of sets up the story. I'm thinking a flashback for the next chapter. Keep an open mind reading this, it's not very fluffy jam.
This chapter kind of sets up the story. I'm thinking a flashback for the next chapter. Keep an open mind reading this, it's not very fluffy jam.
Chapter End Notes:
Thanks for reading! I was listening to "Don't Stop Believin'" by Journey while writing this, btw.
