~~~~~~~~~~~
He pulled into a parking spot in the lot in front of his apartment, turned off the engine of his car and rested his head against the steering wheel. He’d nearly lost his mind tonight. He’d nearly driven to New York because of Roy. He’d once sworn to himself that he’d never do anything because of Roy, or because of what Roy had done, or hadn’t done. He was better than that.
But tonight she had felt farther away than ever. With Roy sitting next to him, the distance seemed to grow exponentially. And then when Roy likened her friends now to what Jim had once been, it was as if she were suddenly on a completely different planet and he felt the overwhelming need to go to her, as if going would prevent the distance from expanding even more.
As he sat there in his car, he still wasn’t sure he believed what he had told the cameras: that he wasn’t that guy, and they weren’t that couple. He sure felt like he was that guy. But logically he knew that going to her now would do no good. In fact, it would only make things worse. So he’d forced himself to do the right, though not the easy, thing and turn the car around.
Even though he wouldn’t drive there tonight, he still needed to hear her voice. He pulled out his phone at hit 2 on his speed-dial until a ridiculous picture of Pam posing in front of some statue that he had taken in New York the last time he had visited appeared signaling that his phone was connecting.
He heard exhaustion and yet warmth in her voice as she answered. “Hey,” she said gently. He could hear her smile in that one word.
“Hey,” he said, equally soft and warm. It was funny how just that simple word conveyed so much to him.
“How are you,” he continued, sitting back on the driver’s seat, getting comfortable.
“Okay,” she said, though he wasn’t entirely convinced. He suspected the previous evening’s events had left their mark on her day.
“How’s the hangover,” he asked, smiling.
“What hangover?” she asked feigning innocence.
“Come on Beesly, I know you were out all night last night and paid for it royally today,” he said chuckling slightly.
“How did you know?”
“Wow, how drunk were you?” Jim said laughing, “you left a drunken message on my work phone at 3 in the morning last night”
“Oh my god”
“Yeah. It was six minutes long”
“Oh my god,” Pam said again, laughing a little this time.
“So you feel like hell today, don’t even try to lie to me.” Jim said smiling.
“Yeah, I do. Still.” She paused, sighing slightly saying “I miss you.”
Those three words unsolicited words were all he needed. He released a breath he didn’t know he’d be holding, and the weight on his shoulders seemed to lift instantly. He smiled, letting the feeling of confidence wash over him.
“I miss you too,” he paused, “and so does Michael.”
Pam laughed lightly, “I know, he called me 6 times today.”
“Wow.”
“Yeah. And I’m hungover.”
“Wow.”
“Yeah.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Thanks”
“Oh, so Michael slept with Holly last night”
“What? Did you just say that Michael slept with Holly last night?”
“Yep.”
“Oh my god.”
“Yep.”
“Oh my god.”
Jim laughed. “Wow Beesly, hangover’s do wonders for your vocabulary.”
“Shut up.” She said, laughing herself.
“So, why do you know about Michael and Holly? Wait, don’t answer that, I don’t think I want to know.”
“No, it’s not bad…well…not entirely. The office got robbed last night because Holly and Michael didn’t lock up after their little encounter.”
“Oh my god.”
“Again, vocabulary.”
She ignored his jib asking him, “So what happened?”
Jim proceeded to tell her all about the day’s activities with the robbery and the Crime-Aid auction, and how he had quickly escaped thanks to Daryl.
“Nice,” Pam responded, laughing. “I can’t believe Michael and Holly….wow.”
“Yeah.”
“So you went out with Daryl and the rest of the warehouse guys?”
“Yep. It was a good time. Better than sitting through Michael’s auction, that’s for sure.” He paused. He wasn’t sure if he should tell her about running into Roy. For some reason he instinctually didn’t want to tell her, but he knew it’d be better to be honest with her, about everything.
“And,” he began, pausing as he tried to think of a way to phrase the next part, “Uh, Roy showed up.”
Pam was silent for a moment, then “Oh.”
“Yeah. He didn’t try to kill me or anything, so that’s good.” Jim said, trying to be lighthearted.
Pam was silent on the other end for a moment. “How is he?”
“Good.” Jim responded, trying desperately to ignore the twisting in his stomach. “He asked about you, I said you were really enjoying New York and art school and everything.”
“Oh.”
“And, I told him that you and I were engaged.”
Pam let out a strained laugh, “How’d that go over?”
“Okay, actually. He congratulated us.”
“Ah. Nice.” Pam was clearly struggling with this information.
“You okay?” Jim asked, his concern for her outweighing the whispering of the demons in his head.
“Yeah,” she said pausing, “You know, just…weird.”
“Yeah.” He responded. He really didn’t want to tell her how Roy had gotten into his head and how he had almost driven to New York just to see her, to make sure she wasn’t drifting away from him. So he skirted the issue, saying: “I almost drove to New York tonight.”
“What?” Pam asked incredulously.
“I almost drove to New York tonight.”
“Why?”
“I…miss you.” He had to admit his vulnerability to her, he needed her to understand and he needed to trust her, “and…I’m just...this is just hard you know? You’re there. I’m here. I mean, I love that you’re doing this, and I know you need to do this. But it’s just…difficult.” He finished, then added, “and I’m just an insecure guy, what can I say,” he said adding a mirthless laugh in a vain attempt to be lighthearted about the whole thing.
“Yeah, it is really hard.” Pam agreed. “I want you to be here too.”
“Sorry, I just…needed to tell you that.”
“Okay.” Pam responded.
There was a pause, then: “Jim, we’re getting married.” She paused. “I love that.” He could almost see her looking at her ring twinkling in the light, a slight smile playing on her lips.
“Me too,” he said, an uncontrollable smile coming over his face, lightening his mood considerably. Despite all the thoughts rolling through his mind tonight, all the doubts and concerns, it became clear to him that he wasn’t crazy. They were really in this for the long haul. He loved her, and she loved him in return. That fact still amazed him to this day.
There was another long pause, followed by a yawn on her end.
“Are you getting tired?” he asked her gently.
“No, I’m okay,” she responded.
“Liar.”
“Alright, I’m tired. Happy?”
Jim laughed. “Not nearly as happy as I’ll be when you get back here.”
“Yeah.”
“Alright, you get some sleep drunky.”
“Shut it Halpert.” Pam responded, at last ditch effort at spunkiness playing in her voice.
“Goodnight Pam.”
“Goodnight Jim. I love you.”
“Ditto.”
~~~~~
Author's Chapter Notes:
This is cross-posted over at LJ...just thought I'd put it up over here as well.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Chapter End Notes:
Thanks for reading!
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