Winners and Losers
by Steph
Summary: The tale of two unhappy people in the annex and what happened before and after the events of Frame Toby.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
------
On his last day in Costa Rica, two days after he had been discharged from the overcrowded, overheated hospital, he finally went to the beach. He stayed long enough in the blinding sun to get some color. He took picture after picture of the pristine beach and even got someone to take a picture of him in the ocean.
He was unskilled, with little energy after all that time lying in a hospital bed. He paddled and floundered, but still there were pictures of him in the water.
Just in case someone doubted that he had actually gone to Costa Rica. He had gone, been injured immediately, spent the time depressed and lonely, wondering if this was some sort of karma for leaving his daughter, punishment for his strange behavior over the past year.
He had gone and now had the pictures to prove it.
He showed his coworkers the pictures and when asked why he returned he mumbled some crap excuses about not meeting people or not liking the weather. If people noticed that he was walking just a little bit differently, if his face showed that he was currently in physical pain, no one asked any questions and he didn’t offer any explanation.
He returned to the same miserable office and the same miserable desk. He spent his first few days reading through Holly’s files and trying to stay invisible. Ryan was back too and more often than not he had Kelly pressed against the annex wall, kissing her like he hadn’t seen her in years, ignoring Toby’s weak protests for them to take it somewhere else.
Toby felt like the chaperone of two unruly, misbehaving teenagers.
It was as if he had never left.
It was inappropriate - not just the public pawing, but the fact that Ryan was here at all. How was he allowed to come back here after the scandal at corporate? Did Michael not realize how wrong it was or was he just too blinded by whatever feelings he had towards Ryan?
Whatever Ryan’s official position here was (back to being a temp?), he didn’t seem to actually do anything work-related. Which was weird.
That wasn’t the only weird thing. Michael hadn’t been to the annex once. Toby had steeled himself for being called every name in the book, but Michael had never come. Toby supposed Michael could be so pissed about him returning that he was speechless, but Michael wasn’t one to keep quiet about that kind of thing.
Toby tried not to focus on it. Instead he concentrated on files and tried to ignore the amorous sounds coming from the adjoining cubicle.
--
Between Ryan being her boyfriend again and Toby returning, Kelly was having an awesome week. She skipped instead of walking normally and her conversations were full of squeals and giggles. She wore her cutest clothes and she didn’t even care that Ryan had been arrested because he had made a mistake and was getting a second chance.
Just like he had made a mistake with her and was getting a second chance.
They were totally going to get married. She knew this. She was so glad she broke up with Darryl.
And Toby was back! She was thrilled! Kelly had never warmed up to Holly. She had tried, but Holly was not too receptive and even worse than that Holly was kind of lame and boring. Toby was kind of boring too, but he was her friend so it didn’t matter as much.
Kelly wanted to hear every little detail about Toby’s awesome trip. She wanted to hear how pretty it was and how the beaches were and what his condo was like and if he met someone hot and if it broke her heart when he moved back to Scranton.
She really did want to hear about his vacation, but Ryan was looking so good right now and he was smiling at her and raising his eyebrows which was their super-secret romantic signal. She smiled back, twirling a strand of dark hair around her finger.
She wanted to hear all about Toby’s trip...
Just not right at the moment.
--
Pam had an engagement ring on her finger, a warm smile on her face like she was lit up from within and her own tales to tell. When she came down to the annex and told him they should share stories about their time away, he was able to answer her without stammering or blushing or acting strange. He was able to converse with her the same way he would have with Phyllis or Kevin or anyone else in the office.
All this time away had cured him of his bizarre, nowhere crush that had screwed him up in ways no other crush of his had.
He even once managed to catch Jim alone. He offered a whispered apology and a half-smile that was a combination of regret, congratulations on the engagement and self-loathing. He wasn’t sure if Jim understood all the nuances of the smile, but Jim had nodded at him in a forgiving way and Toby felt a slight weight being lifted off his shoulders.
Maybe he could survive this after all.
--
There was something different about Toby and Kelly couldn’t put her finger on it. He mostly looked the same. Same ugly brown suits and rumpled appearance and he still mumbled in the exact same way, but there was definitely something.
Kelly asked Pam if she had picked up on anything, because Pam usually noticed things like this. Pam thought about this for a few seconds and asked Kelly if it was the tan that was making Toby look so different.
And Kelly was like super annoyed, because first of all it wasn’t really a tan, it was patchy, uneven spots of color on normally pale white skin, probably from a fading sunburn and second Kelly wasn’t an idiot and she had noticed that immediately.
Pam was, as usual, no help at all.
Kelly asked Ryan too because Ryan and Toby had always seemed kind of friendly and Ryan kept asking Toby to go out for some drinks with him in the new, jittery way of his that would have unsettled her if she really thought about it.
They were in the break room and Kelly was impatiently waiting for Ryan to finish cooking his food so they could go back.
“No,” Ryan said. “Haven’t noticed anything.” He opened the microwave.
“Ew!” Kelly squealed at the mess. “Your food totally exploded. That’s gross.”
Ryan nodded, uninterested, and took his stuff out. “Ready?”
She wrinkled her nose. “Aren’t you going to clean that up?”
“Someone else will,” he said. “Let’s go.”
She gave one more look at the mess, shrugged and followed him out.
--
While it was a little shocking that Michael could be so in his own little world that it took him a whole week to figure out Toby was back, it wasn’t shocking for him to stand in the annex shouting and behaving like a two year old in the middle of a tantrum.
When Michael later knocked the photos out of his hand and everyone around him cheered for him to punch Michael, he felt so exhausted. Pathetically, he bent down to pick up his photos and when he stood back up, he felt a sudden rush of pain, so intense that he could only close his eyes and concentrate on breathing.
In and out. In and out.
He had no idea that the worst was yet to come.
--
Kelly was humming happily to herself as she surfed the internet. She loved the wedding sites; dresses and catering and music and locations. Angela and Andy were getting married and so were Pam and Jim.
And so were Kelly and Ryan.
Not that he had proposed. Not yet. But he would. Kelly could tell that it would be happening soon. And she would need to be prepared.
She had just started planning her registry when she heard commotion. She looked over at Ryan wondering what was going on.
Ryan’s eyes were huge when he whispered, “Did I hear someone say police”
--
The pot wasn’t pot, but salad. Michael had planted caprese salad in his desk, had called the police.
In Michael’s mind this was a perfectly reasonable response to finding out someone you didn’t like had returned to his old job.
Toby would never have been stupid enough to bring pot to work (not that he would even ever smoke pot except yeah for those times that he did) and the only thing in his bloodstream right now was a combination of a few Excedrin and some doctor-prescribed antidepressants. But that wasn’t the point. The point was that if the salad had in fact been pot he could have been busted for possession or intent to deal or whatever those kinds of charges were. It would have been his word against Michael and Dwight’s and he would have lost everything.
His job. His daughter.
He could have permanently lost all contact with his daughter. His ex was already not too pleased with him after his months away; if she found out that he had been taken away from work in the back of a police car she and her lawyer would work overtime to make sure he never saw his Sasha again.
No wonder he had panicked. The cops were searching his stuff and asking him questions and patting him down and he had freaked out.
The pot wasn’t pot, but salad and Michael had a moment, just a moment, of remorse, before that changed into the usual anger and disgust and insults and the two of them had to participate in the most excruciating joint interview ever and by that point Toby was so drained and furious and in pain that he didn’t say or do anything because he was tempted, even more so than with the photos, to just slug the hell out of Michael.
In his head, he could hear Kelly and Ryan’s earlier shouts of encouragement. It would feel really good to deck Michael. To get back at him for this little stunt of his. It was so tempting.
He wouldn’t do it though. With his luck, he would be fired and Michael would not be, and Toby needed this job for the medical insurance and to pay bills and child support and Sasha’s birthday was coming up and he was going overboard in hopes of her forgiving him for being the most selfish, horrible father in the world.
And also, with the way Toby was feeling right now, punching Michael would probably end up physically hurting him just as much.
So he didn’t punch Michael or call him names or even acknowledge how messed up this whole situation was. He just sat and stewed and wondered if it was worth it to give David Wallace a call. Give him a heads up.
No, Toby thought with a sigh that seemed to come from somewhere damaged deep inside.
It probably wasn’t.
--
Since only a few hours ago Kelly had been planning their wedding, she was caught completely by surprise when Ryan told her he was going to Thailand without her. Where had that come from?
And he kept talking and sounded so cocky and slick and was so cute and before she knew what had happened she had agreed to have sex with him and give him some money even though he was totally dumping her.
How had that happened? She was supposed to be strong and awesome and he was supposed to be answering her demands and not the other way around.
But maybe if she did have sex with him, he’d realize what a huge mistake he was making. And maybe if she gave him money he would remember how much he loved her.
This wasn’t right though. She knew that. So although she seriously considered it, she didn’t have sex with him, but they did fool around a little bit in the annex and even though she tried to make it so good he would never want to leave her she couldn’t ignore that he wasn’t even doing anything she liked and he was still so short and what was wrong with him? What was wrong with her?
When they were done, he looked at her pink purse and she fished out a five hoping that when he saw it, he would change his mind. But he just raised his eyebrows again this time not as a sexy, secret signal, but sort of a condescending is this all you have? look. Now angry, she firmly closed her wallet, hoping he hadn’t noticed the twenty that she was totally going to spend on Ben and Jerry’s tonight. Then she hoped he had noticed all the money she wasn’t giving him.
Because he had dumped her. Again. It was just hitting her and her eyes started to well up. Without saying a word to her asshole short
ex-boyfriend she walked to the elevator. She cried all the way down.
Still crying she walked outside. She rubbed her eyes, no doubt smearing all her mascara, and saw Toby standing near his car.
Great. She needed to talk to someone. And Toby was a great listener.
“Toby!” she wailed when she saw him. “Ryan dumped me.”
Toby looked up at her. When he spoke, his words came slowly. “I’m...sorry.”
She needed more than that. “Toby!” she sobbed. “It’s the most horrible thing ever because we were practically engaged and then Ryan told me he was going to Thailand and this was supposed to be us together forever and...” She caught her breath. “And I dumped Darryl for him because I thought that Ryan and I were meant to be and he made me give him money and wanted me to have sex with him and I couldn’t even though I probably should have. I mean I made out with him but I kept my clothes on so I don’t feel so much like a ho but...” She frowned. Toby was looking away from her, distracted. “Why aren’t you listening to me? This is important.”
He met her eyes, pale, tired. “Kelly, I was almost arrested because Michael thought it would be a good idea to plant drugs in my desk. I just can’t--”
For some reason this pissed Kelly off. She needed someone to listen to her, to tell she was awesome and not a stupid skank. “But he broke my heart again and he’s such a jerk, but I still love him and I need to talk to you now. Why don’t you want to talk to me?”
“It’s not that I don’t want to talk, I just...” He looked past her again. “I’m sorry, Kelly. I need to go home and it’s been a crappy few months and I just need to get away from here now...”
“A crappy few months?” Kelly put her hands on her hips. She was really mad now. Mad at herself, mad at Ryan, mad even at Darryl because maybe if he had protested more she wouldn’t have gotten back with Ryan. But Ryan and Darryl weren’t here now; Toby was. “You just got back from the beach. Why are you always complaining? God Toby.”
He sighed. “I broke my neck ziplining in Costa Rica, Kelly. I broke my neck and spent my time there in traction recovering in a hospital, okay? And it still hurts a lot.”
That’s what was different about him Kelly suddenly realized. The way he walked and stood and sat. She wasn’t going crazy after all.
He continued listing his problems. “And I have to meet early with a lawyer tomorrow to figure out custody issues and it’s not looking good for me and...”
Any other time she would have been sad for him, would have wanted to hug him so he wouldn’t be sad anymore, but not right now. Now she was irritated and crying again and she said, in a harsh, mean voice that didn’t even sound like her, “Fine. You win at being a total loser.”
The second it was out of her mouth she wanted to take it back. It was like she was being possessed by Michael or something. And she didn’t even mean it and he looked so wounded before just nodding at her and getting into his car.
This was totally the worst day of her life.
--
When he got home that night, he called his daughter. She was shy at first but then she relaxed and giggled as they discussed her birthday plans. His ex-wife, when she came on the phone, was surprisingly cordial when she asked how he was feeling. He had the urge to confide in her and tell her everything about this miserable day, but then remembered that she didn’t really care anymore and anything he said could make its way to her lawyer so he just said a quick goodbye.
After he got off the phone he made himself a strong drink. Or three. He had known what he was coming back to, hadn’t he? He knew that Michael would not have suddenly changed, would not be welcoming him back with open arms.
The Kelly thing surprised him though. It really hurt.
But she was probably right about him. He won at being a loser.
What an accomplishment.
--
Kelly cried all night and ate her cookie dough ice cream and destroyed all the pictures of her and Ryan except for the ones where she looked really cute. With those she either cut him out the pictures entirely or taped over his face with pictures of Brad Pitt or George Clooney.
That made her feel a little better.
When she wasn’t thinking about Ryan she was thinking about Toby. God. She had been a total bitch to him and he was one of her best friends. Well maybe not best friends because it’s not like they had a lot to talk about or hung out outside the office or anything, but still.
She would make it up to him somehow.
--
When he got into work the next morning, Kelly was sitting on his desk, actually sitting on his computer keyboard. He didn’t say anything.
She smiled nervously and launched into a long, heartfelt apology complete with celebrity references he did not understand and he was still a little hungover from last night and his head was throbbing and he just wanted the noise to stop so he gave her a weak smile and hoped she’d get the hint and leave him alone.
“I just was so upset about Ryan...” At the mention of her ex-boyfriend’s name, her face immediately crumpled and she retreated to her cubicle, sobbing loudly.
Why had he come back here again?
--
Kelly spent a lot of the day crying under her desk and checking her voice mail every five minutes for apology messages from Ryan or maybe messages from Darryl saying he had heard she was single again and maybe they should try to patch things up.
When those messages did not come, she would begin to cry again. Then she’d stop to check voice mail. It was a vicious cycle.
She hoped Ryan would get some horrible disease in Thailand and die a painful death. Or at the last minute decide he had made a rash decision and would come back and beg her for forgiveness.
She’d be happy with either of those happening.
At about two o’clock she got out from under her desk and kicked Ryan’s now cleaned out desk a few times. Not feeling better, she wandered into the break room for some food.
r32;Jim and Pam were sitting together, laughing and in love and Kelly tried her hardest not to hate them both in all their smugness.
“Do another one!” Pam said, still laughing and Jim, in a perfect imitation of Kevin, said, “Niiiiiiice.”
Kelly laughed too, because he sounded just like him and it felt so nice to laugh again. Pam gave Kelly a friendly smile and told Jim to do one last impression and make it good.
Jim grinned, thinking. Then he hunched over slightly, eyes almost completely closed, and in the softest, mopiest voice imaginable, he mumbled, “But... Michael.... I don’t know if...” He slumped over just a little bit more, slurred something unintelligible and blinked a few times.
Pam laughed.
Kelly did not. She narrowed her eyes and said, “You’re such a dick.”
She had not meant to say that. It was sort of like the time when she was at this huge family dinner one year and her great aunt who was like ninety and just visiting from India had said something about everything looking so great that she couldn’t wait to put things in her mouth and Kelly exclaimed, before she could help herself, “That’s what she said.”
Her parents had not been amused.
Now Jim and Pam were staring at her, their mouths half-opened in surprise and confusion.
“He broke his neck,” Kelly said. “You know that?”
“Who broke his neck?” Pam asked.
“And Michael treats him like crap all the time and and no one cares and then we do the same thing too.” Her voice was shaking now with anger and sadness and yeah she was projecting because she had been mean to Toby yesterday and Jim’s impression of Toby hadn’t really been done with much more malice than the one of Kevin. But still it rubbed her the wrong way and she was suddenly glad she had said this to Jim, who really could be kind of a dick sometimes even though he was hot. She could feel the tears starting again. “And he said something about custody and lawyers and things aren’t looking good...”
Oops. Maybe she shouldn’t be spilling all of Toby’s secrets.
“Kelly,” Jim said, “I didn’t mean any harm in...”
Kelly shook her head, knowing perhaps she was overreacting, but not being able to stop. She stared at the two of them for a second, and, keeping her voice even, said, “Not everyone is as lucky as you two are.”
With that she walked away.
--
Weeks went by and Toby began to settle back into a routine of a 9-to-5 job. He listened to Dwight’s complaints about Jim and spoke to Holly on the phone and they compared notes and bizarre stories.
Toby occasionally went out to lunch with Oscar and Andy often tagged along with them, laughing enthusiastically at everything that came out of Oscar’s mouth. Toby wasn’t sure when or how those two had become such good friends.
Maybe Toby had it wrong. Maybe Toby was the one who was tagging along. No matter. He enjoyed the lunches and getting out of the office and Oscar seemed to really have a calming influence on Andy, who acted much less manic than usual.
Michael was Michael and would always be Michael. The insults and derogatory comments were always there and would always be there. He didn’t feel strong enough to start job searching so he would live with it. Sometimes Toby punched at the air while in the annex pretending he was punching Michael instead and it helped.
Somewhat.
Jim was a little odd around him. At first Toby assumed that despite the apologies and shared smiles, Jim still wasn’t thrilled with him (which would have been understandable). But that wasn’t it. After a day or two of some strange looks from Jim, he had taken to visiting the annex, asking Toby how his neck was doing, if he was in a lot of pain, that kind of thing. Jim asked about Sasha and the new apartment and it was kind of awkward, but okay too and Toby answered hesitantly but honestly, and it wasn’t so hard to remember that they had once been friends.
Kelly was apologetic and he forgave her. It still stung a little bit when he thought of the coldness in her voice (so like his ex-wife’s), but she had been having a bad day too and he could look past it.
She had even brought him an apology/welcome back present. It was a mug with his picture on it. She watched him expectantly as he stared at his own washed out, weary face. That’s what he looked like? And now he had it on a mug so he could look at it every day?
Excellent.
She was still watching him. He took a deep breath and said, “Thank you, Kelly. I will treasure it always.”
Her face broke out into a wide grin. The first he had seen since Ryan broke up with her. It was infectious and he couldn’t help but smile back at her. “Really?” she asked.
“Yeah,” he said, putting it back into the box. “I’m going to take it home.”
He shuddered to think what Michael would do to it if he left it here.
--
Kelly finally got her voice mail message from Ryan, but he was drunk and babbling something and it made her so furious about all the time she wasted on him. She deleted the message and congratulated herself for being so strong.
She hadn’t cried in weeks. She bought herself a pink skirt on Bluefly to celebrate her awesomeness.
And she was going to be a bridesmaid in Pam and Jim’s wedding. Okay Pam hadn’t actually asked her yet, but Kelly had a good feeling about it. She already had her bridesmaid dress picked out. It was white.
She and Toby were friends again too. She bet the mug helped. How could you be mad when you had a mug with your face on it? She was so happy they were friends again, because she hadn’t meant to be a bitch that one day and he had understood and they moved past it and he was more normal around Jim and Pam, but he still seemed depressed in general and she wondered if he’d ever be happier. If he’d ever stop looking like he had lost his best friend.
Well, Kelly could be his best friend. She was totally popular and had lots of friends to go clubbing and shopping with, but she could always use another friend.
She had that thought in her head the day Michael came into the annex and berated Toby for the fun of it calling him a jerk and a creep and ugly inside and out. Kelly pretended to be on the phone because it made her so mad and she feared if she stood up she’d be the one to punch Michael and she’d lose her job which would suck because her new pink skirt was really expensive.
r32;When Michael finally left, she walked to Toby’s cubicle. He was standing beside his desk, head lowered slightly. When he spoke, his voice was hushed and she strained to hear him.
“No one made me come back here.”
The disgust in that sentence broke her heart just a bit and without thinking she closed the distance and hugged him hard. She expected him to push her away or tell her why they couldn’t do this at work, but he didn’t. Instead he hugged her back just as hard and she squeezed her eyes shut, trying to will happy thoughts and feelings to him.
They stood there for a few seconds and she rubbed his back a little, because she was a tactile person, and listened to him breathe and wow he was seriously kind of a good hugger. He had decent arms and held her tight - not tight in an I’m creepy and won’t let you go kind of way, but in an I need this hug more than you’ll ever know kind of way. She didn’t let him go.
When he moved away from her, his cheeks were pink and his eyes were downcast, apologizing for inappropriateness and if he made her uncomfortable blah blah blah.
Well that was stupid. What was inappropriate about giving a friend, a picked on, depressed friend, a hug?
“Toby?” she asked, because she suddenly felt the desire to offer him something else. “Do you want to come over to watch Survivor with me tomorrow? Have you been watching? It was kind of lame at first, but now it’s good. My favorite is Sugar who’s super cute and everyone thinks she’s dumb but she’s actually kind of smart and we can get pizza or Chinese food or something. Come on, Toby. It’ll be awesome!”
He frowned slightly, debating, and she took the opportunity to stare at him. Michael had said that Toby was ugly inside and out. That was stupid because Toby wasn’t ugly. His suit didn’t fit him right and he had bags under his eyes like you wouldn’t believe. But he wasn’t ugly. Inside or out. He was nice. And smart. A good hugger. Substantial.
Kelly could maybe see herself making out with him in the near future.
And not just as a pity thing either.
“Yeah,” he finally said. “Okay. I’ll bring some Chinese food. If you’re sure.”
She grinned. “Cool. We’ll have so much fun! Make sure to get extra wonton soup.”
“Sure,” he said. He smiled at her, a smile brighter than she had ever seen from him and it filled her with such pride and warmth and a feeling she couldn’t quite name, and the air suddenly felt charged with crazy, exciting possibilities that she had never even thought to consider.
The End
Steph is the author of 37 other stories.
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