He used to dream about her all the time.

Most of the time they were at the office.

He would be leaning over her desk and she would be laughing her laugh and he would be smiling his smile and they would be them.

Sometimes they would be in the kitchen eating their lunches in complete silence.  Then she would look up at him and smile and he would almost choke on his sandwich.

The phone would never ring and the door would never open and he was never even sure if there was anyone in the office with them.

And he would wake up with a smile on his face.

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Several times he would dream that they were on a date (a real one because she wasn’t engaged).

They would be sitting at a corner table in a dimly lit restaurant.  They would sit too close and kiss too often and share each other’s meals and the waitress would never bother to ask if they wanted dessert.

Other times they would be walking through a park and he would wrap his arm around her and she would lean into him and he would feel like he was floating.

The weather was always warm and the sun was always setting and there was never any doubt behind her eyes.

And he would wake up with an ache in his heart.

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Occasionally, he would dream that they were having sex.

They would be in his bed or on his couch or in his shower and it would be hard for him to breathe.

A few times she would whisper his name and tell him she’d been in love with him since the day they met.

Sometimes he would whisper her name and tell her he would have waited for her forever and he would wipe away the tear that ran down her face.

And it was never too slow or too fast but just the right rhythm and he always felt like he was the happiest he’d ever been in his life.

And he would wake up with tears in his eyes.

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He hasn’t dreamed about her since he’s been in Stamford.  Maybe his subconscious was trying to give him a chance.

It didn’t really matter; he had a library of dreams to choose from any time he wanted to.

Like right now.

While Josh talked about mid-year earnings, he thought about the last dream he had in Scranton. 

In it, she was running towards him.  It was raining really hard and she was soaked to the bone and he couldn’t move his feet.  He just stood there with the rain pouring down and no matter how hard he tried, his feet would not move.  And no matter how hard she tried, she could not reach him.

And Oh My God he must have fallen asleep in the meeting because he’s having his first dream about her in weeks.

She’s standing in the doorway of the conference room and she’s holding up her left hand and there isn’t a ring on her fourth finger.

And she’s smiling through her tears and mouthing ‘I love you’ and she’s the most beautiful thing he has ever seen.

And he’s smiling and his heart is aching and there are tears in his eyes.

Because he’s not dreaming and he knows he’ll never have to again.