“Okay, mom, we’ll be there in about half an hour.” Liz said over the phone.
She could hear her mother’s smile at the other end of the line, “We can’t wait to see you guys and the kids!”
“Yeah, they’re pretty hyper right now at the idea of spending the weekend with you and dad”, she laughed and looked in the rear view mirror to see her two kids reaching for the phone. “Wait, they want to say hi.”
“Grandma, we’re coming. Do you have cookies?” and “Tell dad to drive faster, Grandma!” were the shouts from the back seat and she had to smile at the latter. Her husband glanced in the rear view mirror and quickly said, “Hey! I heard that!”
He really was too cute sometimes. Liz had to lean over and give him a quick kiss.
On the phone, her mother was saying, “You know you don’t have to call us before coming over and visiting. Just show up. We’re always happy to see you.”
“Mom, we went over this already, remember? We just don’t want to show up to find you and dad in any compromising situation. And don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about!”
She could envision her mother rolling her eyes. “Honey, we’re in our seventies. You’re talking as if we spend all our time doing that!”
Liz heard a rustling noise followed by her father’s voice on the phone, “Well, not all the time. Maybe half the time. Although it may be higher than that since we’re both retired.”
“Jim! Stop trying to embarrass me!” Her mom laughed.
“Pam, I’m sure Liz is old enough to understand that adults have needs and all that. Ouch!” She guessed that her mom probably smacked her dad on the arm and, not surprisingly, soon they were quietly laughing at a private joke or something.
She looked over to her husband and rolled her eyes, indicating the cell phone. “Oh brother. All right you two, I’m hanging up now. Just remember that we’re almost there so…”
Both her parents said, “Bye, sweetie.”
Looking at her husband again, she commented, “My parents were actually flirting right there over the phone! Can you believe that?! And they wonder why we insist on calling before coming over.”
Her husband had already heard the story of why the Halpert siblings developed the habit of calling their parents each and every time they visited. He told her that he thought it was very sweet, but Liz and her siblings thought sweet wasn’t the right word, especially when it first happened to them.
Of the three siblings, Liz was the first to catch them. It was an unexpected visit home from college right after midterms of her second year. She just needed a break from the collegial life and a little TLC from her parents. Her younger brother and sister were away for a school trip, and it seemed like the perfect opportunity to spend a little quiet time at home.
As she walked to the front door, she noticed that her parents’ cars were in the driveway. The house was lit, so she let herself in. Looking in the living room, she noticed that the TV was on but her parents were nowhere to be found. Thinking that they were probably preparing dinner or something, she headed toward the kitchen. And that was when she saw them. Both were too preoccupied to realize that they were no longer alone. Her mom was seated on the countertop and she and Liz’s dad were wrapped around one another, making out like teenagers. She saw her mom’s shirt on the floor and it didn’t take a genius to know where her dad’s hand was. Of course, Liz hightailed it out of there so quickly (no need to guess where her parents were heading with all that groping) that she forgot her jacket. When she came home the following week for a longer visit, she couldn’t look them in the eyes.
But then again, she had to count herself lucky after hearing her sister’s story. Lauren apparently came home from college to pick up more clothes that she thought she might need. She didn’t think anything about dropping by unexpectedly…until she found her mom sitting on her dad’s lap, on the couch going at it like bunnies (her sister’s exact words). Her sister, ever the optimist, said she was at least fortunate in that their parents still had most of their clothes on so she didn’t need to purge any images from her mind.
“On the couch, can you believe it?” Lauren had said over the phone.
“Yeah, I saw them in the kitchen. And let me tell you, they were surprised when I came home the next week and spent the first day cleaning the kitchen. If only they knew.”
Her sister had laughed, “Oh my god, you too? I cleaned the sofas and loveseats since I couldn’t take any chances. I mean, we sit there!”
“Don’t remind me!” she’d said with a quick shudder.
“They have the big bedroom and they seriously couldn’t wait to go upstairs?”
A thought had occurred to the sisters right then and there, “You don’t think they ever did that in our empty bedrooms, do you?”
“Ew, ew, ew!” was uttered in unison and the sisters made a pact to clean their bedrooms the next time they visited home.
Before hanging up, Lauren had asked whether or not to warn Nicolas, their younger brother.
“Nah. Why should he get special treatment,” and they burst out laughing at the thought of their brother possibly being traumatized.
And so, not even six months after Nick left home for college, Liz received a phone call from her brother who was practically hyperventilating, having just caught their parents in the garage, their mom’s personal studio, when he came home early for winter break.
He was sputtering when he called her, “I don’t think what they were doing was art…well…unless you consider pornography art!”
She remembered telling him not to feel so bad because she and Lauren already went through that. So after that, they resolved to call each and every time they came home to visit. They all wondered together if it was some kind of rite of passage into adulthood, and when possible, teased their parents mercilessly about it.
But as the car turned into the driveway of her parents’ place and she saw them walk out the front door holding hands, Liz couldn’t help but feel blessed to have two parents who were still so obviously in love with each other. Having that example before them made her and her siblings not want to settle for anything less. And as her own kids scrambled out of their seats and rushed out to their adoring grandparents, she could only hope that one day her own children would see the same in her and her husband.
