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Author's Chapter Notes:

Written for the Unconventional Pairings Challenge at Office Romances.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Every morning when Kevin arrives, he finds a lined post-it note affixed to his computer, dense with Angela’s firm writing and detailing his tasks for the day. He has told Angela he knows what he is supposed to do, but she just tilts her head at him and, unsmiling, raises one eyebrow.

Angela has her own “to-do” list she makes every day, which she writes in black ink and crosses off with blue. Kevin thinks it would be cool if he and Oscar messed with her list. They could be a team like Pam and Jim, and play all innocent when she got steamed. But Oscar was never interested, so Kevin contents himself by periodically hiding all of Angela’s blue pens, and, once, moving her post-it list from the left side of her desk to the right.

But on this day, this slow day Kevin hopes won’t end in bad news, Oscar leans over and whispers, “I added something to Angela’s list.” He carefully peels it from Angela’s desk and shows Kevin item number twelve: Give Kevin all your brownies.

Despite his worry, Kevin giggles. He knows this will be doubly annoying to Angela, since she never allows him more than one brownie. Angela always points to her “One only” sign, and says in that voice that makes him feel as foolish as if he’d been walking around with his fly open: “Kevin, really? Do you think you need more brownies?”

Well, at least Stacy doesn’t care that he’s a big guy. She calls him her “Kevbear” and always remembers to pick up his M&Ms at the store. And her worry and phone calls on this day have been a good surprise; he thought she was just settling on him, but now he thinks that maybe they are like one of those couples on TV, the ones with the hot wife and the heavy husband with the thinning hair.

In fact, just about everyone’s reactions has been a surprise. Michael has been an ass, sure, but Oscar squeezes his shoulder about five times, Pam talks to him in an extra-friendly voice, and Meredith pokes a dozen green M&Ms into the shape of a heart on his desk. The only one who surprises him in a bad way is Angela. He thought maybe Angela would at least pick this day to be nice, but instead she warns Oscar not to give him “false hope,” and later she comes out of the break room after talking to Dwight snappy and mean and whipping her ponytail around like some kind of crazy nunchucks.

Kevin doesn’t get it. Some days Angela is almost friendly and smiles and hums a song he doesn’t know while she does the filing, and other days she is like this. He could no more figure out her moods than he could do one of Stanley’s crossword puzzles.

So he would not have been more surprised if a million dollars was on his desk when he comes back from talking to Toby and finds three – three! - brownies on a napkin, his favorite: double-chocolate, no walnuts. And next to them is a post-it: My prayers are with you Kevin, signed only “A.”

Huh, thinks Kevin. For just a second, he forgets about the band aid itching his neck, about the bewildering stack of insurance papers from Toby, about what songs Scrantonicity might play at his wake. (Did people have bands at wakes? It seems like a cool idea.) He ponders Angela and her moods and finally comes to the only conclusion that makes sense. Pinching the note between two fingers, and balancing the brownies on his palm, he turns to Oscar.

Hey, Oscar!” he whispers, wagging the note at him, and presenting the brownies with a sideways grin. “I think Angela has a crush on me!”

 



ElizabethLynn is the author of 11 other stories.



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