It is a weird out-of-body experience that he feels as he stands with her, alone, on top of the boat. It’s almost like he stepped away from himself, crawling away from his thin layered shell, just to watch her reaction from a different point of view, maybe from someone who didn’t love her like two thousand sunsets over sand dunes or from someone who didn’t get a little pinch in the back of his throat whenever her hazel’s meet his.
The way she looks at him, it feels like his soul has been split into two halves, one for recounting the soon-to-be occurrence when he wants to pity himself later that night, and the other to go through the experience in person, alive and alone with his feelings.
The silence between them hovers heavy like oatmeal’s weight in a tummy, but not as sweetly. Instead, it is bitter, thwarted.
A tear is forming in his left eye. His fingers are cold, numbing as the moon rises above them. He wonders if she can hear his heartbeat because he can hear hers.
A cavalcade of regret sweeps through his eyes as her smile forgets to subside. It’s almost like she forgot to put it away, failing to tuck away her insecurities.
She mutters something about going inside, and that’s when he decides he’s done trying.
Alone is the prominent adjective to describe his being as he leans over the edge, the water beneath thick with the chill of ice on its crests. Naïve and stupid are his second and third choices, but she’s the one who is naïve to the way his eyes pleaded for her to understand and they are both stupid for ignoring it.
His eyes search for the horizon but it is muddled in the blackness of night. Three or four or maybe five stars hang above him, twinkling like little hushed promises that it won’t always be like this. Or maybe they are a figment of his imagination, like the rest of their relationship and what he perceived it to be.
It is a weird out-of-body experience that he feels as he stands alone, her shadow and warmth and the way she didn’t quite know how to respond to the truth in his eyes still lingering next to him.
Story Notes:
Title snagged from the instrumental group, Explosions in the Sky. Booze Cruise.
The following chapters will take place during the six days (or maybe just six chapters...?) after the Booze Cruise. Because I think an event like that has long repercussions.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
The following chapters will take place during the six days (or maybe just six chapters...?) after the Booze Cruise. Because I think an event like that has long repercussions.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Jim's perspective on the booze cruise.
Chapter End Notes:
The next chapter is almost complete - it will be Pam's perspective during the next day at work.
