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Story Notes:
I don't know. Do I really have to explain?

Automatic Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or other recognizable material. It's used without permission of Universal/NBC/lawyers.
Author's Chapter Notes:
I know this may read a bit disjointed, but I think Jan is a bit disjointed, so it all works out.
If You Can Make It There

The truth of the matter is that Jan likes Michael. She's tried to analyze it, had her therapist try to analyze it, and in the end is no closer to knowing why. The man is, to be polite, not smart. He has a savvy for sales, but his management skills are so poor, Jan often wonders how the Scranton branch functions at any level, let alone a somewhat successful one.

But she would never say such a thing to Micahel's face. She likes him. She likes him more than makes any sense. He's so different from Gould. Not opposite, just different. And she divorced Gould because they weren't as compatible as they had first believed, and quite bluntly, she didn't feel her needs were being met.

To say such a thing aloud sounds selfish--she's done it, and thought as much--but there's no getting around the fact when it brought their comfortable relationship to levels of resentment and disappointment. Jan can't help that she wants her lover to be attentive in specific ways. Ways that Gould was somewhat uncomfortable with.

Michael follows her lead. Michael is attentive to her any wish. Michael is sweet and a hopeless romantic.

Sometimes Jan wishes she were as well, but her job in corporate, even if it is only with Dunder Mifflin, has never afforded her such a luxury. Being a hopeless romantic doesn't mix with business. That's why she battled her Michael "thing" for so long, and only gave in on advice from her therapist.

Ethics issues aside, Michael brought out parts of Jan's personality that didn't mesh with the corporate landscape, especially since she wanted to translate her current position into something similar with a larger company.

Jan wasn't happy with being successful. She wanted to be successful. So that meant she had to be a hard bitch a lot of the time, and didn't win a lot of friends that way. In New York, she didn't need friends though; she only needed to know people to fill her spare time when Michael wasn't around.

Clubs rarely, parties slightly more often, social events more than that even, where she could dress purely for show and meet people that might some day further her career. And she had met a lot of interesting people, even somewhat famous people, but she hadn't found the one that would take her to the next level of career advancement.

It felt like treading mud, working at Dunder Mifflin. Dealing with uninspired managers, making excuses for unqualified salesmen, trying to find some true sparks of talent in a company filled with a seemingly endless amount of duds. And then there was Michael, and Scranton, and Jan was dumb-founded. Continued to be dumb-founded pretty much every day.

The branch was dysfunctional, but nobody believed the stories she had. Certainly none of it went into any official reports. Including such ridiculous things would be the fastest way to torpedo her career outside of taking a gun to the office with her. She wasn't there yet.

But the thing about being a hard bitch, that was the most important thing, because even though it had started as a face she put on for work, it was becoming more a part of her. Philosophy aside, it was just easier to always be that way instead of flip-flopping. Nobody knew her outside of the office anyway, so what difference did it make? It was just her thing, a way to get ahead in corporate, a way to get ahead in New York.

Then it all got weird. Not the Michael thing, not the turning into a hard bitch thing. Maybe the hard bitch thing was part of it, but it was more than that. Corporate, New York, climbing the career ladder... It all started to become a part of her, and brought out things she had never knew were there.

The failure of her marriage to Gould made sense. Michael made a little sense, but there were other things she could never speak of to anyone. Not Michael, not her therapist, not even God if she believed in one. It had something to do with all the manipulation she had become so adept at.

It wasn't anything big, just the little things here and there that made her job easier. Sometimes it was a little sweet talk in the right ear, or a bit of a strong arm to the right supplier. Sometimes a carrot, sometimes a stick, no matter how it got phrased, it was a game of getting what she wanted.

Jan always got what she wanted. And that's what she could never tell Michael.

Because Michael couldn't give her everything she wanted. He made a very good effort, and she appreciated that (though she didn't tell him so), but there were things Jan didn't feel comfortable asking him.

What a joke that was.

Michael just wasn't that type of guy that could do the things her corporate lizard brain wanted.

Nothing wrong with it, nothing illegal or weird or even that kinky. It just wasn't something Michael could do; he didn't have any kind of corporate brain. The poor guy just wasn't cut out for corporate life at all, and not even management. He was a friend of the worker, not a boss, which probably should have meant complete collapse for Scranton many years ago.

Not a boss. He lacked authority. And that was why Jan had her secrets.

A quick shower in the weak, tepid stream, mostly to wash away the sweat, and she was re-dressing. Work attire, no casual clothes. She touched up her lipstick, fixed her hair, and grabbed her purse.

A man who could take control, who knew how to keep things purely business, and a man who could give her the good pounding a hard bitch with a corporate lizard brain like Jan wanted. Poor Michael, he couldn't manage any of those things.

With her sunglasses on, Jan opened the door of the dumpy motel and was about to step outside. She paused, and turned back. "Don't ever call my cel phone again, Dwight."

There were secrets Jan would never divulge to Michael because she was a New York corporate hard bitch, and Michael wasn't.

End
Chapter End Notes:
That scene in The Coup, where they meet, is just so bizarre. Jan is as loyal to Michael as she can manage, but it's obvious she sees Dwight as an asset to the company. And my brain works in bizarre ways, so there we go.


sachiel is the author of 6 other stories.



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