It's not like how you see it in the movies. In the movies there is a grand announcement at the altar, there are gasps in the audience. In the movies people go to the reception anyway and have a good time, some say they saw it coming, some say they wouldn't have expected this. In the movies, the couple you rooted for, the man you hoped she would leave her fiancé for, kiss right before the credits roll. That's not how it happens in real life. The reality is tears, and phone calls, and loose ends, and a lot of upset people. The reality is not getting the money back you paid the catering company, and an angry man on the other end of the line, "You don't just get a refund two days before the date, the food is already prepared and frozen, what do you expect us to do with a hundred dinners?"
The first person she told wasn't Roy. First, she told her mom. Her Mom had an idea it was coming, but she broke down and cried anyway. Nothing could prepare her for the look on her Mother's face. Nothing could prepare her for that kind of disappointment.

Nothing could prepare her for what it was like to tell Roy. At first he didn't think she was serious. "Pam, the wedding is three days away, what are you talking about?", "It's just cold feet. I'm nervous too.", "Are you serious? You want to break up?", "Why the fuck are you doing this to us?" She never thought she would have the courage to say the words out loud. But now they were out there and there was no going back. There was no taking that back.

Breaking up with Roy was more than just ending her only serious relationship. It also meant losing an entire part of her family. They saw Roy's parents every weekend. Roy's nephew called her "Auntie Pam". She was at the hospital when he was born. She was his God Mother. When Roy's sister, Joanna, had a miscarriage during her second pregnancy Pam comforted her and took care of the boys while Joanna slept. They were like sisters. Joanna lost 15lbs for the wedding. She wanted to be able to wear a size 6 bridesmaid dress. Now the size 6 hung in her closet. Joanna hadn't spoken to Pam in a month.

Halfway through calling her guest list, Pam realized why in the movies, they wait until the wedding day to call it off. It was the most humiliating thing she had ever had to do. Her Mom helped with some and offered to do it all, but Pam knew she had to own some of this. Every phone call was the same: an awkward pause, followed by some statement that gave Pam the impression they thought Roy left her. That is, until she got to Roy's side of the family.

When it was over, things started to slowly go back to normal. Roy stayed with his brother until she found her own apartment. They split their small savings account. They returned the few gifts that arrived early. She tried to give him back his ring but he told her to keep it. She didn't know what hurt worse; that Roy's family hated her, or that he didn't.

When the credits roll in the movie, you don't see what happens next. People leave the theater and soon forget about the person who got dumped at the alter. Pam didn't get that luxury. Instead, she woke up one night to Roy banging on her new front door. He smelled like booze and sounded worse. He cried and said how much he missed her and that he promised things would be better if she came back. She believed him but it didn't matter. She let him cry and sleep on her couch. In the morning he was gone.

None of it mattered now. It was done. It was the only choice. She had no regrets. Sometimes you don't get the movie ending and that is okay. She knows if she is true to herself, she will someday get to kiss the man who should be her husband right before the credits roll.