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I was not going to do this. I've been a fanfic posting maniac lately...but I just could not help myself. 

The Most Boring Honeymoon Ever

 

The thing about Jim and I is that we're extremely boring to everyone but ourselves, so when all the well-meaning people in our lives started mentioning things like parasailing and bungee jumping, I think we both decided right then and there that the most adventure either of us really wanted on our honeymoon was a trip out to the falls.  Otherwise we heard our room came with a DVD player, video games, and 24 hour room service. 

 

It's sad, but this was really more than enough for us.  And that's how our Honeymoon began and ended...completely and blissfully boring.

 

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Saturday, Oct. 10th, 2009 6:30 a.m. The Honeymoon Suite

 

Pam hadn't been sleeping well for a couple of weeks.  Wedding stress coupled with the sheer inability to get comfortable every night had begun to take its toll.

 

Oddly enough though, she had no problem falling asleep when she wasn't supposed to.  Work, was apparently a great place to fall asleep, which was really interesting considering her new "boss" had a birds eye view of her every time he looked up.  He never woke her though. There were perks to sleeping with the new boss.

 

Another time Pam fell asleep when she wasn't supposed to was her wedding night. 

 

She couldn't even remember getting in the limo after the reception.  Which meant she'd probably been asleep there too.

 

Which really sucked and was kind of embarrassing...

 

If she concentrated just hard enough she could remember little things...and not so little things...like being carried over the threshold, though truth be told she was kind asleep then too. 

 

"Pam...I was going to carry you over the threshold anyway...you didn't have to pass out," the memory of his voice came floating back in a hazy sort of way, but she knew she hadn't dreamt it.

 

Pam caught herself smiling in the bathroom mirror as she maneuvered herself into something that she swore had fit a lot better when she'd bought it at Victoria's Secret just two weeks ago. 

 

He'd apparently taken the liberty of freeing her from her gown last night too.  God, how could she not remember...

 

Well she was up bright and early now, so it was probably her wifely duty to make it up to him, right? She smiled at herself, thinking about it that way...wifely...wife...You're somebody's wife...you're Jim's wife.

 

It was this thought that comforted her when she stared at herself in the mirror and saw her tummy punching out of the white satin negligee she'd bought.  Her boobs way too big for the top that she was certain had fit just two weeks ago.

 

She knew him well enough to know he wouldn't complain.  That he'd think she was beautiful no matter what.  That for all his sensitivity he was sort of enjoying the new pregnancy boobs. Not that he'd said so...he just seemed to spend a lot of time there.

 

Taking a deep breath, she opened the bathroom door to find him still asleep. The sun was beginning it's ascent over the horizon and the slightest golden sliver of the gorgeous day to come, streaked across his face.  He'd obviously sensed the sun's annoying intrusion, having thrown his arm over his eyes.

 

"Jim," Pam said quietly walking over to the bed. She sat on the side on the edge and took in the sight of him  - her husband - on their very first morning of being husband and wife.

 

The familiar mess of bed head hadn't changed, that funny crooked expression he wore during sleep hadn't changed, but somehow he looked different. It was probably just her over-romanticizing imagination.

 

"Jim," she said again nudging his hip with her fingertips.

 

She could have let him sleep, just like he'd let her last night...but she was a little anxious...a little in need of some things she hadn't tended to the night before.

 

She toyed with the edge of the sheet that lay just at his hip.  She pulled it down, sliding her fingernails every so lightly across the bared hip bone she found. That drove him insane; in a purely high-pitched girl sounding laugh, kind of way - it drove him insane.

 

He didn't feel it yet. "Jiii-iiiim wake uuuu-up..."

 

"Oh! What!" He said jolting awake and swatting her hand away.  A fountain of giggles bubbled up inside her.

 

"Oh my God!" he said catching his breath, he laughed hoarsely and then abruptly - very abruptly stopped.  His smile disappeared and his tone grew quiet. "Oh my God...Pam."

 

"Who did you think it was?"

 

"I don't know...I thought I was dreaming. I thought it was that spider from the picnic that year, come back to get me."

 

"Nope...just me," she said lifting her arms and then dropping them.

 

"Wow...I...You look insanely gorgeous."

 

Pam smiled sheepishly, tugging at the straps of her negligee. "I thought I would make up for last night...Sorry for conking out on -

 

She never got to finish that sentence.  And that's sort of how their first morning went.

 

Yep - just all pretty much boring stuff.

 

So boring in fact, that their afternoon went very similarly.


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