Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

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Five Times Pam Thought About Kissing Jonathan Halpert

5. She met Jonathan Halpert in the parking lot at work. Of course, she didn't know he was Jim's brother at the time, but there was something about him that had just struck her -- she'd caught herself staring at his hazel eyes, full lips -- she'd immediately realized she was attracted to him, which was odd -- because she usually didn't notice other men. Roy didn't count, obviously, since they were engaged -- and Jim -- well -- they were best friends, and if pressed, she might admit she found him fairly attractive as well, but, really ... it was Jim. Everyone thought Jim was cute. This guy, though. There was something about him, something so familiar; she couldn't place it. They chatted lightly on the elevator on the way up, he was asking him about the box of DVDs he was helping her carry upstairs. She couldn't stop staring at his full lips, his dark, wavy hair. For a second, she was overcome by the thought of kissing him, which immediately made her feel guilty.

Obviously, it was nothing -- he was just an attractive guy ... it was completely normal sometimes to feel weird around someone who's really attractive, right? There was nothing to this. He was just a cute guy. She was engaged and had no business ogling him like a piece of meat. Pam sighed, trying to concentrate on the elevator numbers. She found herself distracted by his hands... long, slender fingers, wrapped around the bottom of the box he was holding ... wow ...

Why were her hormones so crazy around this time of the month?

4. She ran into him a couple days before her wedding was supposed to happen at a used bookstore. Besides Jim, he was probably the last person she was ready to see at that time. Despite the awkward greeting, he'd still stepped forward to give her a hug, and briefly, in his arms, she felt safe, happy. There was something about Jonathan that made her feel so close to him. For a split-second, she imagined if things were different: what if she wasn't getting married to Roy? What if she was single?

She had hurt Jim so badly.

She started crying -- the tears fell so easily lately -- and before she knew it, Jonathan had his arms wrapped around her again, protectively. He knew exactly what to do. For another fleeting moment, she let herself go; let herself be encircled by his embrace. Let herself imagine ... what would she do? What would she do if he tried to kiss her? Would it be like Jim? Would his lips feel the same? Would he be able to make it all right?

He pulled back before she knew what was happening, and she stood there, stunned, thinking about everything and nothing. "I'll see you," he said, squeezing her hand. "Take care of yourself."

She swallowed hard as she watched him walk away. A second later, she called out his name, "Jonathan!" Her voice didn't sound like her own. She trembled as he turned around to look at her.

3. Jim had been back from Stamford for a few weeks, but things had been somewhat tense between them. At some point, she realized that he wasn't just friends with Karen; they were actually dating. It broke her heart to think about it. She was so angry at herself -- she had no one to blame except herself for being so blind -- for not taking the opportunity when she had it. Now that she finally was ready, Jim had moved on. For just a moment that day, she had been almost been certain that Jim still had feelings for her -- he came over to her desk and apologized for making that comment about Roy. But then Karen came back in -- and for just a split second, Pam watched Karen's eyes meet Jim's. Watched her eyes just discreetly pass over his lips before looking back up at him again. That was when she just knew.

Since that moment, she had been sitting at her desk, feeling sorry for herself, when she heard the doors to the office open. She expected another rude visit from the Vance Refrigeration guys. She was about to say something when she looked up and saw Jonathan Halpert standing there. Even when the tears started coming down her face, he knew exactly what to do: coming around the desk, he knelt down beside her and took her hand into his, his hand soft and warm. As she looked at him, she was struck again by how much he reminded her of Jim, and how much she wanted that in her life. He'd followed her out into the hallway where they sat down on the stairs and he told her it was okay -- even though he really didn't know what was wrong -- he was just so kind and understanding in that moment. She looked into his green eyes -- then at his full lips, reminded of how much they were like Jim's, remembering what it had felt like to have his lips on hers. And for a second, she almost wanted Jon's lips on hers. Something, anything that would remind her of what it was like. Just to feel him again, even if it wasn't him. Instead, she said, "I'm in love with your brother."

2. She ran into Jonathan at the video store near her new apartment. It was Thanksgiving weekend. She almost literally ran into him as she was perusing the New Releases rack, not paying attention to where she was going. He chuckled, grabbing her arm lightly to keep them from colliding. Once she realized who she had almost collided with, she stepped back, startled. She collected her senses and forced herself to give him a quick hug. "Jon," she said, "in town for the holiday?"

"Yeah," he said, grabbing the movies she'd picked up out of her hands. "Hmm. Lake House ... wow, chick flick ... Date Movie? What is this, Pam?"

She blushed, grabbing the movies back from him. "None of your business, Jonathan Halpert."

He smiled at her mischievously, much like Jim would have after having a good poke at Pam's dignity. "Well," he said.

An awkward pause hung in the air for a second. Pam debated with herself for several minutes. Finally, she asked: "Is Jim in town?"

Jonathan shifted on his feet, looking uncomfortable. "No ... he's uh, went with Karen this weekend."

"Who's Karen?" Pam looked at Jonathan worriedly, who was avoiding her gaze. She felt the panic starting to rise up in her throat. Jim's dating someone? It's that serious? Why haven't I heard anything about this yet?

"Uh..." Jon obviously didn't know how to continue. Pam realized he had accidentally said too much, but he probably didn't know that Pam didn't know about Karen. Or the fact that it was that serious already.

At first, she felt sick. Then she looked up at him, feeling that familiar longing again. Usually, she felt it when she thought about Jim, but all she could think about was Jim and this faceless (probably gorgeous) "Karen." Who the hell was this girl? How had they managed to become so serious that he was already going with her to holiday dinners? She felt betrayed, and her chest tightened as her eyes welled up with tears. He looked at her so kindly, his eyebrows knit with concern, as he pulled her into a tight embrace. She squeezed her eyes shut, feeling horrible that she was breaking down in the middle of a video store, embracing the brother of the man she was in love with while he went to holiday gatherings with someone else. That should have been her, not this -- Karen girl.

"I've screwed up so badly, Jon," she said into his shirt, which was some kind of impossibly soft cotton -- the kind that felt like silk against her cheek as she stood there, leaning into him, her arms wrapped around him.

"It's okay," he whispered, stoking the back of her head. Just like Jim would have done. That only made her start to cry more. He held her until she stopped shaking, and she let go, stepping back.

"I'm sorry, Jon," she said, sniffing, and wiping her nose. "I know I shouldn't be ..." She trailed off, unable to finish.

Jon looked at her so kindly, so dearly. So much more than she could have expected from a guy in his position. Suddenly, she felt the desire to feel her lips against his, wanted him back in her arms, anything, anything to make the pain go away. Anything to pretend like everything wasn't completely wrong. Instead, she picked her DVDs from the floor where they'd fallen and smiled weakly at him.

"Thanks," she said. He held out his hand and she squeezed it. It was like a secret thing they had. Their little signal: Everything will be fine, don't worry.

1. The night after she ran into Jonathan at the video store, she was alone in her apartment. She had already finished a bottle of wine and had watched The Lake House for a second time. Nothing else was on television. The credits had just come up when she felt herself drifting off. Too drowsy to move, she'd curled up on the loveseat in front of her TV and fell asleep.

She was in the video store, where they only had copies of A Clockwork Orange, The Day After Tomorrow and The Postman available. Many, many copies of these, but nothing else. She walked around the store, which kept getting bigger, but offering her no new choices. As she rounded yet another corner, she literally ran right into Jonathan -- his chest, actually -- he seemed taller than she remembered him being. She looked up at him to see him smiling down at her.

He had on some sort of flannel shirt which was open at top, revealing a sprinkling of chest hair. For some reason, that caused her stomach to do a little flip when she saw it. Not knowing why, she reached out and touched his chest hair, wanting to know what it felt like. It was light and soft -- softer than she expected. She looked up at him to see him licking his lips, which suddenly made her want to kiss him. Just once ... just to know what it would be like. His arms wrapped around hers, and she felt herself bringing her hand up to his cheek. She felt the light stubble, rubbing her thumb against his cheek, then his chin, then over his lips. He breathed out as she did that, and she felt his hot breath against her thumb.

She swallowed, licking her lips. "Jon," she murmured to him. "I don't know if we should be doing this..."

"Don't worry, the penguins won't say anything."

"Okay," she said, unable to pinpoint why that made sense. She was leaning forward, so close ...

When the store's fire alarm went off. A loud, persistent tone that wouldn't stop. He grabbed her hand and they started running out of the building, when everything started to fade...

Pam woke up groggily, her eyes adjusting as she saw the television come into focus: a test signal. That was the "fire alarm" in her dream. Her dream?

She suddenly sat upright. Oh, my God.

(and one time she did)

1. It was the Thanksgiving weekend that seemed to drag on forever. Luckily, Melissa, one of her old high school friends, was in town, and wanted to go out for drinks. It would be a welcome distraction from everything else that had gone wrong that weekend -- driving out for Thanksgiving to watch her brother and sister-in-law fight like cats and dogs all day, then coming back to see Jonathan and find out that Jim was spending the holiday with his girlfriend -- she didn't think things could have possibly gotten worse -- until Roy showed up at her doorstep early Saturday morning (about 4 am), completely drunk. He cried for about ten minutes on her doorstep (she refused to let him in) and told her how horrible things were without her. She was too tired and too pissed off to deal with that this weekend, so she'd called a cab and sent him home.

She had agreed to meet Melissa on Saturday night at Trax, the admittedly questionable bar in the Scranton Raddison. Melissa wanted to go there because she was staying at that hotel, and she didn't want to have to drive or take a cab back to the hotel. Melissa also told Pam she could stay over that night so she wouldn't have to drive, either. Normally, Pam would have just been responsible and wouldn't drink a lot so she wouldn't have to stay over, but tonight -- all bets were off. Her life officially sucked, which called for copious amounts of alcohol and girl-talk. It would hopefully be the perfect remedy to the weekend from Hell.

By ten o'clock, she was decently buzzed, and by eleven, she was completely drunk. Luckily, so was Melissa, so they made a good pair. Pam held up her glass. "You know what'sch good? Margaritas!"

"Yeah, for sure!" Melissa said as they clinked glasses.

"Pam?" A familiar voice said.

She turned around in her stool so quickly, she almost fell, except that a steady arm caught her before she could do so. She felt a warm hand burning on her bare skin, and looked up to see Jonathan Halpert staring down at her. "Jon?" she asked, standing up. She immediately took him into a tight hug. "I'm soooo glad to see you right now!"

"Are you?" Jon asked, obviously amused.

Pam stepped back, having to catch herself on the stool. She felt dizzy now that she had stood up. "Yesh." She turned to Melissa. "I'd like you to meet a really, really, great guy -- Melissa, his is Jonathan Halpert, Jon, this is Melissa, an old friend of mine."

"Nice to meet you," she said, shaking hands much longer than necessary. "He's cute," she whispered loudly to Pam.

"I know," Pam whispered back.

"What are you guys talking about over there?" He looked over at them with a half-smile. He was so adorable; it made Pam start grinning as well. Something about him that was just contagious. These Halperts are contagious. Just like a cold, it's impossible to get rid of them.

"Nothing," she said, leaning in towards him. She smelled the scent of his cologne. It was something woodsy, like pine scent and something else -- something else she couldn't place -- so manly -- so ... "Mmm," she murmured, leaning up against him. She was sniffing his neck, and he was looking at her not a bit too oddly.

"What are you doing?" he asked softly.

She was completely drunk, but somehow she got the sense he wasn't completely pushing her away. "Why is it, Jon? Why is it that we're both still single?" She heard Jon take in a sharp breath, but didn't answer. "Isn't it just ironic that after all this time -- after Jim wanting to be with me for so long -- after I broke up with Roy -- after everything, everything I'd been through, and here I am ... here we are ..." She looked up at him, seeing that he was watching her intently, his breath slow and steady, falling on her face. His breath smelled like whiskey and something sweet - something she wasn't sure of.

"Yeah," he said. She saw him lick his lips, which sent a shiver down her spine. She reached up to touch his face, feeling the light stubble against her fingers.

"Maybe I just picked the wrong Halpert," she said, her lips touching his.