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Pam knew she was ready to go when she and Penny went to the bathroom, only to find Meredith and Creed sharing a cigar in the last stall.

Her aunt had promised her that her wedding day would go by so fast, she would want to take mental pictures. However, Aunt Sally had never accounted for her crazy yet lovable band of quirky, insane, completely inappropriate coworkers. Now, all Pam wanted to do was crawl into bed and watch her husband take off every single piece of his clothing, starting with his severed tie.

She was ready for this day to be over.

“You’re just done, aren’t you?” her little sister asked, smiling. Pam put her hands over her face and looked at her expression in the mirror.

“Am I that obvious?”

“Come on, let me help you with this,” she started pulling all the bobby pins that were holding up Pam’s messy bun. When she was finished, Penny gently ran her hands through her sister’s curly locks and pulled it off her shoulders. “There,” she said, putting her hand on the bride’s shoulder. Pam moved her hand up to lock fingers with her sister.

“Thanks, Pen,” she turned around to hug her.

“Come on, let’s get you and Jim out of here,” she grabbed Pam’s hand and leaded her out of the bathroom.

“It has to be subtle. The last thing we need right now is for Michael to commandeer the microphone and start making crude comments when he sees us leaving out the back door and heading towards the elevators,” Pam gestured to her boss, who was currently assisting Dwight in some sort of musical experiment involving several empty wine glasses and a makeshift tuning fork.

Penny cringed at her sister’s thought, leading her towards a circle of various Beesly relatives listening with rapt attention to their new son-in-law.

“I really don’t think you can compare the 2008 Phillies to the 2007 Red Sox. For one, none of their players were on steroids--” Jim was interrupted by Pam’s particularly vocal Bostonian cousin who booed loudly.

“Whoa, honey!” Pam pulled his arm gently, gesturing between her cousin Charlie and her new husband. “No baseball talk, remember? Can I steal you away for a sec?”

Jim looked down at her and smiled. “I guess I’m legally obligated to do whatever you say now.”

“Whatever, you’ve been doing everything I tell you to do for years now,” she smirked, leaning up on her tiptoes and kissing his cheek. “Let’s get out of here,” she whispered in his ear.

He put his hands to her belly, concern flashing over his features. “You feeling okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine, we’re fine, I just -- it’s just --” she put her hands inside his suit jacket, wrapping her arms around his waist and pulling him closer to her. “I just want all these people to go away.”

He smiled, kissing the side of her face. “I’m on it,” he broke away from her embrace, walking towards his parents’ table.

Pam walked past Jim, across the room to where her mother and grandmother were sitting. She sat down next to Meemaw and took her hands in her own.

“Meemaw, Jim and I are going to leave now. I’m really tired, and it’s just been a really long day. I want to apologize --”

Meemaw shook her head. “No, dear. Don’t apologize. I don’t have to understand some of your unflattering choices, but I do love you, and your new family. And I’m excited to meet baby Sylvia -- or Sylvio,” she winked conspiratorily.

Pam’s face went white. She looked over Meemaw’s shoulder at her mom to see Helene Beesly rolling her eyes. “Yes, Meemaw, we can’t wait to meet he or she either...” She leaned down to kiss her grandmother’s soft cheek. Her mom grabbed her wrist as she walked by.

“Honey, tell me more about Michael,” she said, taking a sip of her cocktail and gesturing towards Michael and Dwight across the room. Pam’s eyes went wide in alarm. “What? I mean, who, Mom, huh?”

Helene smirked. “You know what I mean. Is he single? Any kids? Criminal record?”

Pam shook her head in horror. “Mom, wow, um, I will talk to you tomorrow!” she leaned down to hug her mother, walking away quickly before she said anything else more damaging.

Michael and her mother? She wanted to be sick. It couldn’t happen. It wouldn’t happen.

Or could it?

Pam put one hand to her belly and one to her mouth. Jim came up behind her to wrap his arms around her waist. “Okay, let’s go. Mom and Larisa said they would cover for us,” he kissed her cheek. She turned around in his arms and he raised his eyebrows at the terror in her face. “Pam, what? What’s going on?”

She shook her head repeatedly, grabbing his hand and heading for the back door. “This is not a conversation we’re having here.”

- -

“Your mom and Michael?” Jim exclaimed from the bathroom. “Isn’t there like, some law against that? There has to be, Beesly. Don’t worry, we’ll figure it out.”

Pam shuddered, sitting on the side of their bed to pull her ballet flats off her tired, swollen feet. “Ugh, let’s just not talk about this anymore. I can’t take it.” she sighed and flopped backwards onto the bed. Her eyes fluttered close, opening only when she felt her husband’s warm body hovering over her. He kissed both her cheeks, her forehead, her nose. She smiled. “And I’m not Beesly anymore. You can’t call me that.”

“Hush, you’ll always be my Beesly.” he kissed her deeply for a few moments until she sat up, pushing him away.

“I have a surprise for you,” she smirked. “I’m going in the bathroom to change, and I expect you to be completely naked by the time I come back out here,” she pointed towards the bed.

“Yes, Mrs. Halpert,” he replied, pulling his jacket and tie off quickly and letting them hit the floor. “Are you sure you don’t need help with your dress?” he wiggled his eyebrows.

“Nope, you don’t get to help. It will ruin the surprise.”

He shrugged his shoulders. “Worth a try,” he fumbled with his shoes and pants as the bathroom door closed behind Pam.

What seemed like an hour later, Pam opened the door slowly and revealed her “surprise.”

Jim’s jaw dropped as he saw his new wife clad in only a short, silky, lacy, heavenly red negligee. The sheer material stretched beautifully over her firm, round belly.

“Penny got it for me,” she said. “She was going to go with white, but seriously -- who are we kidding here?” She gestured to her pregnant midsection.

“Yeah, seriously, some dude knocked you up? I’m disappointed, Mrs. Halpert,” he smirked. She rolled her eyes and crossed the room to lie across his supine form.

“I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of hearing that,” she said as she straddled him, rubbing her hands over his broad shoulders.

“Well... maybe once our daughter brings home her first boyfriend -- I play bad cop with the shotgun, and you play the good cop ‘Mrs. Halpert’...” he playfully batted his eyelashes.

“I don’t know who this imaginary daughter is you’re speaking of -- you know we’re having a boy,” she patted her belly gently. He leaned forward slightly and lifted the gown, exposing Pam’s belly.

“Remember to tell all your boyfriends that Daddy has a shotgun,” he smiled. She smacked his shoulder and leaned down to kiss him.

He returned the kiss and murmured against her lips. “Okay, I guess we’ll see who’s right in a few months,” he smiled.

“You’re going down, Halpert.”

Then they just...

...stopped talking.


downtown is the author of 12 other stories.
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