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A/N: Finally able to post this given the date! =) Wrote this one a whiiiile ago. Something stupid and fun for the holiday. Redoing Halloween. I'm trying to upload all the chapters at once, hope it works. If it doesn't, I'll submit the rest tonight. Enjoy. =)

Disclaimer: Nothing's mine.


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When I set the phone back onto the receiver, and I hear her giggle at my Michael impression (and my heart breaks with the sound), and the cameras see her beautiful smile and our quiet triumph in a high five that spans the room, what they don't know is that she almost kissed me last night.

She's breaking me apart, piece by piece, just like she always is. She remembered the kiss from the Dundies at Chili's, and I wasn't so sure she would. She was pretty drunk. But she didn't think of it as a kiss, the kind that made me fall asleep with my hand against my lips that particular night. She gave her friend a hug and her lips bumped his; sometimes I think that's what she believes happened.

But she mentioned it to me the other night, right after she almost kissed me. It was at the same stupid bar, after we'd all gone out for the "closing ceremonies." I'm all for a drink here and there if it means my boss doesn't find out I spent half the day playing stupid games with my coworkers and falling even more in love with a girl who's engaged. She had a stupid little pink drink in front of her that I was teasing her mercilessly about, but the way her eyes sparkled when she laughed about it did me in. It meant that every time she left our table, I had to go up and by her another one, just so I could see it match the flush of her cheeks again. She laughed every time.

I just nursed a beer, I wanted to be able to drive her home, since she'd asked me when Roy wouldn't come along. I felt like maybe I should have something a lot stronger, because Pam was a little tipsy and giggly and everything perfect that I needed in my life. But that kind of thinking is probably what makes you an alcoholic, and for some reason, my buzzed mind thought, your mother would be so disappointed.

I was drunk on her and she was drunk on pink drinks, and neither of us noticed that almost all of our coworkers were gone. We had a booth in the back to ourselves, seated in the same side because at one point the other was where Ryan and Toby were, but they'd been gone for hours. Once in a while, she'd laugh and put her hand on my thigh and I'd have a brief moment of indecision -- should I lay her down across the table and lower my body on top of hers? Or do I shove her away and remind her she's supposed to be loving someone more than me, that she doesn't get to lead us both on? You know, normal stuff.

When I felt my cheeks burning a little, I ordered a Coke and so did she. I poked her little nose and smirked at her, and the smile she gave me was enough to make my day. I know without those beers I would have never touched her like that. When I looked back up at her, I almost did a double take, because the smile was fading away and she was staring at my lips and I had an overwhelming sense of being in trouble.

She leaned in, and I remember thinking oh no, oh no, okay, okay exactly like that. When I knew for sure she was about to kiss me, I parted my lips slightly, and so did she, and it got a lot warmer in the room. But she just stopped short, her lips twitching a little, finally bearing her teeth and smiling tersely. She was not even an inch from my mouth, enough to feel her breathing on my lips, and her hand on my chest as she held herself against me.

I poured that Coke down my throat and was ready to leave. She wanted to finish hers at the the table, and she wouldn't look at me, but I told her to just take the glass into my car. She giggled and said, "That's stealing," but I didn't feel like giggling with her. That was a thing that made me happy, and that wasn't what I wanted to feel just then.

I dropped her off at her house and she tried to give me a really big hug, the kind that girls always give their go-to guy friends. I wouldn't let myself fall into that, because the kind of big hugs I would want to give her are the ones where I bury my nose in her hair and pick her up off the ground and never let her go. So, obviously... Yeah. I laughed and patted her on the back and told her I'd see her tomorrow.

And when did, it was just like nothing happened. And as much as I do not understand this girl sometimes, I'm a sucker for everything about her, and that smile brings me back to life. We are back to what we have always been today and if I'm happy just to see her giggle, the drawn whiskers stretching on her pretty face, then I guess I'm doomed. But, you know, look at her.




How do I feel ultimately rejected since this girl that I'm nearly in love with is basically saying she'd be okay with me leaving? I guess since she's done this kiss me or almost kiss me thing twice, I assume she likes me back just a little. Ultimate rejection is definitely when the girl says, "You should move out of state!" I mean, I wouldn't even say that to my friends, so... what am I to her?

I think it's the first time I've ever walked away from her even when her voice quietly calls my name, and it makes me feel weak and powerful at the same time. A little stubborn, like a little kid with his fingers in his ears. But at the same time, I'm already missing having fun with her as I sulk back to my desk.

She's twisting that damn ring on her finger, I can tell by the way she's looking down at her desk. Twist it until it comes off, please please please.

I wonder if she wasn't engaged, when I would've asked her out. Nope. Nope, that hurts.

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