Story Notes:
The following was posted on Jim and Pam’s Wedding Site (http://www.halpertbeesly.com/) in their about me section.
I would hope that if you're looking at our wedding blog, you already know us, so an explanation of who we are and what we do seems kind of pointless, but in case you accidentally stumbled on this site: He's a paper salesman. She's a paper salesman. Together, we're easily the seventh most interesting couple in Northeastern Pennsylvania paper sales.
That last line made me laugh and inspired me a bit. I want to write a piece about the 6 other most interesting couples in Northeastern Pennsylvania paper sales. So I decided to give a 100 word glimpse into the lives of these couples on a random autumn Friday night in 2009. Some of them we know, a few are my original characters. A little silly, but enjoy!
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
1 Creed Bratton and ?, Dunder Mifflin, Scranton
Kevin had convinced several of his colleagues to go and support Scrantonicity 2 at The Bog’s Open Mic night so Ryan, Kelly, Erin, Andy, Creed and Meredith sat around a sticky table, waiting for the band to play. Over at bar, a young woman waved at Creed and winked.
“Do you know her?” Erin asked. Creed glanced over, then answered.
“Oh yeah, that’s my old lady.” The others stared at him in surprise. He just shrugged. “If you like it, then you put a ring on it.”
“Like that Beyonce song?” Kelly asked, excitedly.
“Who?” Creed replied, his face blank.
2 Alan and Tracy Walker, Staples, Stroudsburg
To most people, Alan Walker was an average, maybe a bit boring 35 year old man. He was the manager of the Staples office supply store in Stroudsburg, Pennsylvania and in his spare time, enjoyed golf and racquetball. His wife wasn’t a supermodel, but she did make an outstanding tuna noodle casserole.
In all outward appearances, they were just a normal couple. But behind closed doors, things were slightly different.
On Friday night, when the kids were at their grandparents, Tracy tied the blindfold tightly behind Alan’s head and whispered in his ear.
“Remember. Your safe word is card stock.”
3 Phyllis and Bob Vance, Dunder Mifflin, Scranton
“I’ll have the New York Strip Steak and my lovely wife here will have the Jumbo Shrimp in Curry Sauce.” The waiter nodded and left the couple alone.
“Oh, Bobby, you know I find it so sexy when you take charge like that,” Phyllis Lapin Vance purred at her husband, referring to the way he ordered dinner for her.
“I find everything you do so sexy, sweetheart,” he told her in reply. Phyllis blushed.
“You know, I think I’ve got to go to the restroom.” A moment later, Bob Vance got up and joined his wife in the handicap stall.
4 Roger and Linda Prince, Prince Family Paper, Carbondale
When they lost their business, Roger was depressed, worried about their finances, but Linda knew they would okay. She had a secret stash of cash, won playing poker in Barbara’s basement instead of going to bingo at church. She was good, damn good, at cards.
When he found out, Roger decided they would start taking trips to Atlantic City.
“Damn, honey, you’re on fire tonight!” Roger cheered at the Taj Mahal as his wife collected a pot of nearly $100,000. He didn’t have to worry about their finances anymore, although he was slightly concerned at how unhappy casino security looked.
5 Ryan Howard and Kelly Kapoor, Dunder Mifflin, Scranton
“You heard what Creed said. And Beyonce said it too so you know it’s right.”
“Kelly, for the last time, I am not proposing to you. We are NEVER going to get married.” Ryan chugged the rest of his beer, trying to block out the sound of his girlfriend’s voice and the background noise of Scrantonicity 2.
“Ryan! You are so…I can’t believe you…” she stood up in a huff, holding up the back of her hand to him, turned it twice just like Beyonce did in the video, then stomped away. Screw Ryan Howard. She was an independent diva.
6 Annie Taglieri and Derek Nading, Staples and Office Max, Wilkes Barre
Annie walked to her car beneath the lights of the parking lot of the shopping plaza. Across the way, she could see Derek locking up his store. She thought he looked so handsome in his black polo shirt.
She knew they would meet up at Bennigan’s later, get drunk and make out in a corner booth. It happened nearly every Friday, but they never spoke about it during the week. They came from two different worlds: he worked at Office Max, she at Staples. It could never work out. She sighed. They were star-crossed lovers just like Romeo and Juliet.
7 Jim Halpert and Pam Beesly, Dunder Mifflin, Scranton
“Chinese or pizza?” Jim asked his fiancée when they got home from work.
“You decide,” she replied, slipping her feet out of her sensible black heels and removing her suit in favor of flannel pajamas. “But I get to pick the movie.” Jim agreed, calling the pizza place before changing into sweatpants and a Phillies t-shirt and joining Pam on the couch.
Leaving a pregnant Pam in charge of the night’s entertainment meant they watched “Dirty Dancing” on ABC Family but Jim didn’t mind. Watching cheesy 80s movies with Pam on a Friday night was all he ever really wanted.
standinginthedoorway is the author of 6 other stories.
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