- Text Size +
Author's Chapter Notes:
I've had the core of this story sitting on my computer forever. Hope you enjoy.

Disclaimer: Not my characters, no copyright infringement intended. Just having fun.

Spoilers for The Job and Beach Games.


-

"So I did the hardest thing I ever had to do, which was... wait." - Jim Halpert





Since the day at the beach, Pam’s been waiting.

Patience becomes resignation when the weekend passes with no word from him, and when he comes in with Karen on Monday, she knows she’s lost. Gone all in, and lost.

The disappointment is a physical blow, making her bite her lip and fix her gaze briefly on the little calendar beside her computer until the sick feeling passes.

He smiles at her when he says good morning, though, meeting her eyes for the first time in what seems like a long time. It immediately sets her heart to racing. His smile pulls one from her, but she can’t speak.

He holds her gaze for a long, warm moment, then taps her desk and steals a jellybean before heading to his desk.

He hasn’t done that in a while, either.

She talks to him four times that day. She can’t help analyzing the banal exchanges, searching for subtext. There isn’t much to be read into Are we out of toner?

Maybe there is, Hope whispers, tormenting her. She’s trying so hard not to expect anything.

Still. He knows where they store the extra toner cartridges.


~~~~


It’s Tuesday, and he still isn’t really talking to her. He’s not ignoring her like he was the last couple of months; he’s friendly when their paths cross in the breakroom, the kitchen, at the elevator. But that isn’t too often, and when it does, Karen’s usually not far from earshot.

Karen is polite, if no longer friendly. Her smiles are forced, her eye contact fleeting and guarded. Pam feels like she needs to say something about what happened at the beach, but she can’t seem to get her alone, and she doesn’t want to do it in front of Jim.

She has her third-to-last art class of the semester that night. For her final, she’s been working on a still life of irises, bold yellows and blues, but tonight she spends two hours with charcoal and paper, trying to capture his hands, his jaw, the line of his shoulders under his dress shirt. His profile is harder, each side so different. She sketches them both.

At the end of the night she looks at the scattered pieces of Jim all around her and has to smile a little as she scoops them into her portfolio. She likes to think she’d never forget his eyes, his smile, his slim fingers dangling over her desk. But it’s good to have something tangible.

When she gets home, she curls up with a mug of tea and the summer course catalog.

He’s going to leave, maybe. Probably. And she’s going to be okay.


~~~~


The day before the interviews for the big job in New York, the camera crew keeps pulling Pam in for talking heads.

She knows what they want. Feeling free and light, she cheerfully tells the truth. She’s not sorry that she said what she did out there on the beach. She’s been keeping quiet for so long, too long. If she was out of line, well, then, the universe is just going to have to give her a pass on this one.

But she doesn’t think she was.

She’s going to be more honest now. The only lie she’s told is that she hopes Jim gets the job, and even that’s not really a lie: if that’s what he wants, she wants him to get it.

What she wants for herself, though, is for him to come back to her.


~~~~


She keeps looking at the door, the last place she saw him, trying to remember exactly what was his expression when he walked away from her. A friendly wave, a smile for everyone. No last glance back at her.

Still, she got to say goodbye, although she made sure to say good luck instead.

It’s more than she got last time.


~~~~


That same strange weightlessness comes back to lift her spirits somewhere around eleven-thirty, in the middle of Dwight’s soil presentation.

What if Michael does get the job? What if Dwight really is the new boss? Is this her new reality?

She grins to herself at the thought of messing with him on a whole new level.


~~~~


She’s been waiting all day to hear what happened in New York. Michael seems to look right through her when she asks who got the job, and the sick feeling returns, but it’s not as bad as before. She’s going to be fine. Everything’s going to be fine.

She continues reciting her mantra all day, and during what seems like her twelfth interview of the day finds, to her mild surprise, that she believes what she’s saying. I don’t know what the future holds, but I’m optimistic. It’s okay. Everything’s going to be fine.

She’s startled when the door opens, and stunned breathless at the sight of him.

He looks like a stranger in that new suit and short haircut, and the way he looks at her when he asks her to dinner—so simple, like it’s nothing instead of everything—it’s oddly detached, as though he himself can’t quite believe what he’s doing. But then she catches a hint of that smile, the one her heart remembers, and she’s suddenly overwhelmed, unable to speak until she looks back at Ian. He’s still got the camera on her, and his grin is wide and congratulatory.

She grins back.

She’s done waiting.




~
Chapter End Notes:
Thanks for reading! I appreciate feedback-- it's the only reason I don't just let this stuff die a quiet anonymous death on my hard drive.


callisto is the author of 22 other stories.
This story is a favorite of 10 members. Members who liked To Waiting also liked 2625 other stories.


You must login (register) to review or leave jellybeans