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Story Notes:

This is basically my first fic, so don't judge me too harshly. I really just felt like starting with scenes that have already happened would help me work up to creating my own scenes.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. I am in no way affiliated with the writers of The Office nor am I affiliated with Jenna Fischer or John Krasinski. No copyright infringement intended.

“I’m in love with you.” He couldn’t hold it in any more. He knew if he didn’t say it now, tonight, he would never tell her. And Jim knew if he never told her, he would never be able to live with himself. At least if she knew and turned him down, then he can say he tried.

“What?” She said, completely and utterly stunned. Her face went white and she started to shake. Did he really just say that? Am I dreaming? Part of her wanted to jump up and down because she felt the same, but she had Roy to think about and she could never hurt him like that. They had history and a solid relationship, at least that’s what she told herself.

“I’m really sorry if that’s weird for you to hear, but I needed you to… hear it. Probably not good timing, I know that. I just-” She cut him off in the middle of his explanation. A part of him already knew that she would turn him down. He knew her better than anyone and Pam wasn’t one to seize what she wanted, especially if it meant hurting someone else.

“What are you doing?” She asked, baffled that he just told her how he felt. Why did he have to ruin things? They had a great friendship and she cared about him so much, but why did he have to tell her? She waited for an answer to her question, and he said nothing. Just tilted his head and gave her this look like she was supposed to know why he said what he said. And she did. She knew all along. “What do you expect me to say to that?”

He looked down and sighed. So this is what this feels like, he thought. This is what heartbreak feels like. “I just needed you to know,” he said half smiling, “… once.” She broke their eye contact and looked behind him, “Well, I… um… I can’t.” And there it was. The actual no from Pam. Jim’s heart fell into his stomach, at least that’s what it felt like. Looking away, he started fiddling with his hands. “Yeah.”

“You have no idea-” He cut her off, knowing exactly what she was going to say. I love being friends. You mean so much to me, as a friend. You’re like my brother. “Don’t do that,” he said meeting her eye-line. “…what your friendship means to me.” He shook his head and fought back tears. God, what this girl did to him. “Come on. I don’t wanna do that. I wanna be more than that.” Swallowing the lump in his throat, he felt like his heart was literally breaking.

“I can’t,” she said. She felt like such a terrible person. But what else could she do? Call off the wedding? Leave Roy? She had already picked a dress and sent out ‘save the dates’, plus this would kill Roy. He was never a huge fan of Jim. He’d always accuse her of being in love with Jim and nonsense stuff like that, but deep down he was right. Wasn’t he? “I’m really sorry if you misinterpreted things.” Just hearing herself say these words disgusted her. That’s all she could come up with? Misinterpreted things? In that moment, as Jim began to cry right in front of her, making himself the most vulnerable he would probably ever be… she hated herself. Whispering she spoke once more, “Its probably my fault…”

He sighed and shook his head, letting tears roll down his face. He couldn’t even really comprehend what was happening. It was as if he floated outside of his body and watched this shallow version of himself be let down by the love of his life. “Not your fault,” he said inching away from her. He wiped away the tears on his cheek and started to walk past her, “I’m sorry I misinterpreted our friendship.” He was shattered.

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