Skeleton Crew
by Steph
Summary: Matching costumes could be fun (as long as they weren't lame ghosts or depressed hobos). But you know what isn't fun? Dying alone.
Spoilers for Spooked. Because I couldn't not write a fic about Kelly and Toby planning matching costumes and a dance.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
-------------
Kelly was crying. After several minutes of trying, in vain, to participate in a conference call, Toby hung up the phone and asked her if something was wrong.
“Andy,” she wailed, “told me I couldn’t dress up as Kate Middleton. And I already bought a beautiful dress and a crown, but Andy doesn’t care. Just because Meredith wants to be her too. Whatever. Like Kate Middleton looks like some old, slutty redhead.”
Kate Middleton didn’t exactly resemble a curvy Indian woman either, but Toby decided not to say that.
“And Ryan was going to be Prince William and they would have been the best costumes ever, right? Ryan’s hot like William and William and Kate are so beautiful and in love like Ryan and I are, right?”
“Sure,” Toby said. “Okay, I’m uh...going to get back to work.”
“Yeah,” Kelly said, wiping her eyes. “You know what? I’m going to wear my outfit anyway. I look super gorgeous in my dress and if Andy asks I’ll just tell him I’m going as another princess or something. What’s he going to do? Make me go home? What are you dressing up as?”
“I don’t know.” He hadn’t really thought about it; His ex-wife had informed him yesterday that he lived in an unsafe neighborhood full of unsavory characters and Sasha would be better off trick or treating with her even though she had her last Halloween. Not to mention the one before.
“It’s safe,” he had said. “Well lit.”
When his ex had refused to budge, Toby had tried to compromise, had offered to pick Sasha up and take her trick or treating in his ex-wife’s neighborhood. He thought it was a perfect solution until his ex-wife had sniffed that she thought that was a ridiculous idea and said not to worry, she would take lots of pictures of Sasha in her costume and Toby had to force himself not to slam down the phone.
“I don’t know,” he repeated to a distracted-looking Kelly.
It didn’t matter anymore. He wasn’t hanging out with his daughter. Who cared about a costume? “Something simple,” he said. “Maybe a ghost or something.”
“Like with a sheet over your head?” she shrieked. “What are you? Four? That’s so lame and boring. You know what you should do? You should---” but she stopped mid-sentence when Erin came by with party questions and Toby went back to his desk, wondering what she was going to say and even more importantly, wondering if he should bother to buy a new sheet for his costume or if he should just use one he already owned.
--
Kelly was upset again. This time at Ryan who balked at being Prince William and decided to go as “some stupid TV character from a show about gross drug dealers.”
“You know,” Kelly said to Toby as he picked at his sandwich, “you’re actually closer to William than Ryan is. Not like hotness or anything, but coloring. Reddish brown hair.” She studied him, while he fidgeted under her gaze. “It could be weird. But maybe like you could be William from the future or something. Like what William would look like in thirty years.”
“Thirty years,” he repeated, “Do I look like I’m sixty?”
She actually paused, considering, and he shook his head. “Please don’t answer.”
“Okay,” she grinned. The grin quickly faded. “But if Ryan doesn’t want to be William, what do I do? I so don’t want to be Kate on my own.”
“Be something else then,” he said.
“Like what? And don’t say Lady Gaga. Gabe totally ruined her for me. Not enough brain bleach in the world.”
“I don’t know. Maybe you can be a princess or something. Or a ballerina.” Some of Sasha’s past costumes.
“Yawn.”
“Or a potato.”
She giggled, surprised. “What?”
“I saw a baked potato costume at the mall. You just put it over your head. The outside part is brown, with the white closest to your face with a big pat of butter and chives. It would be different.”
“That’s so weird. So like if I were a baked potato, what would you be to go with it? Like a piece of steak or something? Like steak and potatoes?”
“I didn’t see any steak,” he said. “And I didn’t realize we were going to have matching costumes.”
“Um yeah if I’m going as a potato you have to be food too. Plus it could be fun to have matching costumes. But I’m going to pick the costumes. I don’t want us going as stupid ghosts. Also, no offense, but your costume last year...what were you supposed to be again? Like the saddest, most depressed hobo ever?”
He felt himself blush a little. He had been proud of last year’s costume. “Just a hobo.”
“Yeah well because it was you it was a sad hobo. Oh and don’t ever dress as a clown, Toby cause you’d be one of those weird ass sad clowns and that would freak the hell out of everyone. You’d probably give Erin nightmares.” She grinned again. “Ryan too. What a baby!”
“Um...”
“This is going to be so awesome!” she said, clapping her hands together. “I’ll let you know what I decide.”
--
Later that day, he sat with her at her computer as they scrolled through websites for costume ideas. There were several celebrities that she got very excited about; people who he either didn’t know or was only vaguely aware of. He did not share her enthusiasm.
“Maybe I could go as Kim Kardashian. You could go as... I don’t know. Maybe Bruce Jenner. That’s her stepfather. You still like to run right?”
“Uh....”
Yeah he was really not sharing her enthusiasm.
He was about ready to suggest (again) doing separate costumes when she suddenly grabbed his arm. “Toby! Oh my god!”
“What?” The picture on the screen was of a glow in the dark skeleton costume. It had nothing to do with a celebrity or a reality TV personality. It was pretty basic. He wasn’t sure why she was so excited.
“This one year, a long time ago, my sisters and I had costumes like this. We even had a little dance that we performed for everyone. That was the last year before my sister...” She paused, shook her head quickly. In a small voice she said, “But like it’s totally boring. And stupid. Forget it.”
“Kelly,” he said softly. “if you want to choose a different costume for us that’s fine. But if you want us to wear these we can.”
“Really?” The smile spread all across her face before disappearing. “But maybe we shouldn’t. Because it’s a skeleton.”
He didn’t understand where she was going with this. “And?”
“Would that be weird for you?”
He blinked at her. “Weird for me?”
“Yeah, because of you know...the fact that you’re kind of like a skeleton now. I mean no offense and you look a little better now, but...”
So she had noticed. He was a little surprised; at this point, he assumed he was practically invisible to his coworkers. “Did...um...other people notice too? That I had lost some weight?”
Kelly nodded. “Erin and I discussed it. We even considered holding a Thintervention.”
“A Thintervention?”
“Yep, like we’d all sit you down and make you eat ice cream or something. I mean it’s weird because like before you were totally chubbing it up so it was good that you lost some weight, but then you lost too much. I thought maybe you were depressed or something because you’re always depressed, but then Erin said...” Kelly looked up at him, her eyes wet.
“What?” he asked. Why was she crying? This wasn’t about him. She could not be this emotional about him.
“Erin said maybe you were sick. Not like a stupid cold but something serious. Erin was really sick as a baby and spent lots of time in hospitals. You would tell us if something bad was going on, right, Toby?” She blinked a few times, tears falling down her face and whimpered, “Right Toby?”
“Yes,” he said as she sniffled. “But I’m okay. I had some health issues, a really bad case of food poisoning and then stomach flu and for awhile after that I completely lost my appetite. I was really having trouble eating. I just didn’t want to. And yes, I lost some weight...”
“Your whole face was sunken in,” she sobbed. “Ryan said you looked like you were on drugs. And not pot either because Ryan and I know about that already. But don’t worry we won’t say anything.”
Wait. What? How...?
“Ryan told me to mind my own business. He said I was too nosy and should leave you alone. Maybe I shouldn’t have listened, but...”
“Kelly,” he said as she went in for a hug. He patted her back as she pressed her face into his shirt. “I’m okay. I promise. And I’ve gained some of the weight back.”
“Yeah,” she mumbled. “I’m glad.”
She stepped away from him, still blinking. “We don’t have to do the skeleton thing if you don’t want to. We can do um...”
“It’s fine,” he said. “And thanks.”
“For what?”
For noticing him. For being concerned. For considering a Thintervention.
“Just thanks,” he said and turned back to the computer.
--
Toby thought they would get the matching skeleton costumes and that would be it. But no, Kelly insisted on teaching him the song and dance that went along with it. He felt pretty silly. And he was a horrible dancer.
But this was important to her, something that she had done with her sisters and she seemed so excited and happy to be doing it with him so he decided to go along with it. Plus the dance steps weren’t horribly complicated, just lift an arm, a leg. He could manage it.
They were in the middle of another practice session when Gabe walked over to them. “That looks like fun.”
“It so is,” Kelly said.
“It looks like an easy enough dance with easy to follow steps.”
“I guess,” Kelly said. She looked over at Toby, then back at Gabe. “Um, we’re kind of in the middle of something here so you can go now.”
“Kelly,” Toby said.
“Sorry,” Kelly said. She shrugged. “Anyway, Gabe, I’m sure you have like way more important things to do so we’ll let you get back to them.”
Gabe still stood there, awkward, and Toby felt for him; he knew what it felt like to be excluded. He should say something. “Gabe, I...”
“Come on Toby!” Kelly hissed and even though Toby sympathized with Gabe (he really did), it was just so shocking (and nice) to be the one included that he followed Kelly and tried not to feel too guilty.
--
On Halloween, after fighting with and then disarming Dwight, he walked to the annex to find Kelly, in her matching skeleton costume, at his desk, hands on her hips, looking furious.
“What’s wrong?” What had he done now?
“Gabe!” Kelly said. “He...he’s dressed like us! He has our costume and I saw him showing Erin our dance! You have to do something! He can’t copy us like that. You didn’t tell him he could do it, did you?”
“No, he never asked me,” Toby said. He wanted to tell Kelly to calm down, it wasn’t that big of a deal, that it would be nice to include Gabe, but there was the tiniest part of him annoyed as well.
“This was supposed to be just you and me,” Kelly said.
“I know,” he said. “But it’s okay.”
“It’s not,” she said. “But whatever. It’s just stupid work.”
“Yeah. And at least he isn’t Lady Gaga again.”
Kelly considered this. “I guess. Ew. That was so creepy!” She shuddered and went back to her desk.
--
It had been a long day for both of them. They had performed, with Gabe, their little dance for Robert California who seemed somewhat amused. Or not. Toby wasn’t sure what to think about him.
And then Robert California started asking Kelly weird personal questions, questions that seemed to unnerve her.
And Toby had just been fake fired by Robert California’s son who was obviously put up to it by Dwight.
Yes, quite a day for the annex dwellers.
Toby and Kelly sat near her desk, on the floor, backs against the wall. They sipped orange punch and nibbled at orange and black cookies, which were way too sweet in his opinion. But Kelly was watching him so he made sure to eat a few of them.
“Toby?” Kelly asked, her voice just above a whisper. “Do you think Robert California is psychic?”
He looked over at her. “No. Why?”
“I mean...about what he said about me not wanting to die alone and then that story he told about the woman being alone. Do you think that was his way of saying that he knows I’m never going to get married and that I’ll die alone?”
“No. I don’t think so. I think you told him your greatest fear and he worked it into his story.”
“Oh.” She didn’t look like she believed him. “So what’s your greatest fear?”
He had so many fears. His ex-wife cutting off all contact with their daughter. Sasha deciding she didn’t want anything to do with him (not with his ex’s cooler boyfriend in the picture). Michael coming back. Andy discovering whatever character flaw of his that had made Michael hate him so much and reacting the same way.
Also, like Kelly, he feared dying alone. Unloved.
“Radon,” he said because it was the easiest. “Seeping into the vents and slowly killing us.”
“Really?” she asked. “That’s it?”
“No one does anything about it,” he said. “And it’s something that shouldn’t be ignored.”
“You and the radon,” she said, rolling her eyes. “Alright already.”
“No one cares but...” His voice trailed off, sensing her boredom.
“Are you afraid of dying alone?” she asked.
He considered lying. It wasn’t something he was really comfortable talking about, but it might make her feel like it wasn’t just her. “Yes,” he finally said, deciding on honesty. “It is something I’m afraid of.”
“More than radon?”
“Yes,” he admitted. “More than radon.”
“You know if we all die of radon here at least we won’t be dying alone. I mean we’ll all be here together.”
What a cheery thought. He did not want to die in this office with these people. “Um...I guess.”
“Not that I want to die or anything, but if Ryan and I were together it could be romantic.”
He sighed. He could hear his phone ringing and he started to stand up.
“But Ryan wouldn’t want that. You know he’s going to some Halloween party tonight and he told me I shouldn’t come because they weren’t ‘my type of people.’ What the hell does that even mean, Toby?”
He sat back down, suddenly feeling very tired. “I don’t know.”
“I know what it means. It means he sucks and he would totally leave me here to die alone,” she said. She put down her drink and turned so she was looking right at him. “If we were here at work in the annex and the radon started seeping through, would you leave me alone to die?”
“Of course not.”
She smiled. “I wouldn’t leave you either. I would either get you out or stay with you.”
“Thanks,” he said. “Can we change the subject? It’s getting a little morbid.”
“Duh Toby, it’s Halloween. You can totally be morbid on Halloween.”
“It’s not something I like to think about though,” he said. “And I really don’t want to die here because of radon gas. Our deaths would have been completely preventable.”
“Yeah,” she said. “Toby, want to make a pact?”
He raised his eyebrows. This should be good. “A pact?”
“Yeah,” she said. “Like even if it’s not at work, we sort of look out for each other. Like make sure neither of us dies alone. I’m not saying like a suicide pact because...ew, whatever. So not what I mean. But if there was a situation where one of us was dying... you know what I mean?”
No. Not really. He had no idea what she meant. He didn’t know what she was asking or what he’d be agreeing to exactly. But whatever it was...it was probably better than him dying alone. Which was inevitable.
“Okay Kelly.”
“Awesome!” She reached for his hand. She squeezed it; he squeezed back. The two of them, in their skeleton outfits, sat there alone in the annex, away from their coworkers. He heard his phone ring again, debated getting up to answer it, but decided not to. He remained where he was, their warm hands still entwined.
“Happy Halloween, Toby,” she finally said.
“Happy Halloween, Kelly.”
A few more seconds of silence before she said, “Gabe’s totally on his own though...”
The End
Steph is the author of 37 other stories.
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