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Kade Interview- "My name is Kade and this is my first day working as a temp at Dunder Mifflin. Do I like it? Huh, well the boss is crazy *laughs*. Everyone else seems nice enough, I look forward to working here. Not, like, forever or anything. Maybe 5 years tops."
Ok, let me introduce myself for real. My name is Kade and last week it was 2016. I was a high school student, played sports, did teenager stuff, and I binge watched the Office tv show in 2 weeks. Yeah, it sounds like a bad decision when I say it out loud like that. Anyway one day I went to sleep in my bed and the next morning I was in a random fucking apartment. I started to freak the fuck out, going around the room frantically wondering how the hell I got there. I find a note on a desk from 'Scranton Temporary Workers Agency', or some shit, and read it over. The note basically said YOUVE BEEN ASSIGNED TO THE DUNDER MIFFLIN PAPER COMPANY. YOU START TODAY. Keep in mind I have no idea where the hell I am or why I am there. I try to find my IPhone but it's nowhere to be seen. The doors not locked, so I walk out and see that it's dark and that I'm in some kind of motel. I didn't give much thought to the note at first, but then it hits me and I run back to read it again. 'Dunder Mifflin' is written right there in the first sentence. On the backside of the note is directions to, I can only guess, some random-ass place that is part of this elaborate and unfunny joke. I scrounge around for my wallet and keys and find them, fortunately. As the sun starts to break over the horizon, I can see my CR-V sitting in the parking lot right outside my room. "At least the fuckers left me my car", I chuckle as I grab the keys and walk out the room, not bothering to get dressed. I just want to get home at this point but the area is completely unfamiliar, so I decide to follow the directions on the note. I put the car in drive and pull out of the lot, heeding the first direction: "Left on Main". Fifteen minutes later I find myself at a building that is way too familiar. I park the car and step back to take it all in. Its the building in Los Angeles where they shot 'The Office'. "Oh... My... Fucking God" I say out loud as I start to laugh. Whoever kidnapped me, brought me to California, left me in a motel room, then wrote directions to the set of 'the office'... Well, they have a weird sense of humor. It suddenly hits me that I am standing in the parking lot, half clothed, laughing obscenities in a foreign city at 7 in the morning. It also hits me that I need to call 9-1-1, like, immediately. I go inside to find a lanky, black man sitting behind the desk drinking a coffee. His nametag reads Hank. "Uh, hey there," I make out. "Can I use your phone to call 9-1-1?" He doesn't look up but replies "Sure, kid" and hands me a flip phone. I turn around, hand on the 9, and then a very familiar boss walks through the door.
Michael Scott interview- "So, today we hired a new temp. Temp temp temp. It's so fun to say that word, isn't it? Anyway I came in early because me and Dwight were going to make a new music video about Scranton and there's the temp! He's just chillin in the lobby, no pants or anything. I could tell it was the temp because he looked like the guy in the picture that the temp agency sent. You know... People that show up to their first day of work two hours early- AND without pants, I should say; are the frontbone of this company. These are the people that keep the day to day going smooth."
I smash the nine button in sheer disbelief. I need a second to compose myself before grinning and saying "Steve! I'm a big fan of you're work, what are you doing here?" He looks at me like I'm crazy before grabbing my hand and shouting "Temp!" Oh, man what is going on. "Huh, good one," I laugh. "Did you come back here for the memories?" I ask him, motioning around the lobby. "NO I DID NOT, temp. I came back here for the 9 to 5 grind, my boy! And it is a good thing you're here because I need a Egg-and-cheese muffin PRONTO." he rambles off. I stand there dumbfounded, and then, as if a lightbulb went off; it all makes sense. The building, the one I thought was a set. Hank. Michael Scott coming in and telling me to get him breakfast. The letter from the temp agency. I'm in The Office.