Valentine's Day 

Raining.  Not just raining, it was absolutely pouring!  Pam stared out at the deluge and sighed.  Miserable weather fit her mood perfectly.  Bad weather, bad mood... Just another day.  No guy in her life.  She felt like she deserved the weather, she knew she deserved the mood.  “Good job, stupid,” she said out loud.  “You had a great guy, and you blew it!  Absolutely blew it to Hell!”  She meant Jim.  He was handsome, funny, and loved her.  Loved her and she dumped him.  Dumped him in cold blood, actually sent him an e-mail and why?   Alex.   

She broke up with Jim for Alex!  Alex wasn’t handsome not close.  He was funny like Jim, but his humor was mean, hurtful.  He was a Big Man On Campus (BMOC) and he had power.  He was probably the best graphic artist on campus.  He was rich, assertive, outspoken.  He was student body president.  Pam got so into the campus scene, she was in awe of Alex.  He knew art.  He knew the professors, the students.  He wanted Pam, and he got what he wanted.  He took it slow, playing Pam’s friend, helping her with homework, badmouthing Jim.  When the time was right, he made his move: Pam fell for him, dumped Jim, and became Alex’s girl.  At first it was great.  If Alex was king, she was queen.  Parties, friends, fun.  It was hard not talking to Jim, not opening his letters, the ugly scene when Alex called the cops to remove Jim from campus.  Maybe she still had feelings for Jim, but she ignored them.  

As time passed, Alex became mean, impatient, badgering Pam to lose weight.  It took guts, but she did it--broke up with Alex.  She was nervous when she did, she knew of his temper.  But he surprised her--no tantrum, he actually laughed at her.  So Pam was single, having broken up twice in six months.  She was glad to be rid of Alex, but God she wished she could talk to Jim.  BRUNG!  The doorbell.  Who would be out in this rain?  She looked through the peephole and gasped!  JIM!  It was Jim.  What the Hell?  She quit trying to think--IT WAS JIM!!  She opened the door.  He stood there looking just the same.  Except he was soaked and shivering.  

“Jim, what are you doing here?”    

“Oh I was in the area and thought I’d drop by.”

“Oh bullshit," Pam yelled.  It felt so good to hear his voice.  And they were already having fun.    

“You just happened to be 100 miles from home in this rain?  Halpert, you are such a liar!”    

“Me?  I can’t hold a candle to you.  Remember when you told Kevin..."

"Stop!"  she interrupted.  "That was just Kevin."  She looked down and saw that he had a small bouquet of flowers in his hand.  They were soaked, drooping over his hand.  Jim looked so pathetic, drenched, holding those sad flowers, but he also looked so sweet.  She had to laugh.    

“Whats so funny?"  roared Jim.  “Why am I laughing with you?”    

“Because you are a nerd, look at you!  Soaked, shaking!  Get in the shower and I’ll put your clothes in the dryer. God you are a baby!"  So he did.  Fifteen minutes later they were sitting on the couch, talking, laughing like nothing had happened.  But they both knew that something had happened.  And it would have to be addressed if not now, then soon.  That is if they wanted to start over.    Pam had been thinking of this day for a long time.  She knew what she should say.  But not Jim.  It was too painful for him.  He wasn’t prepared when Pam brought it up.  They were giggling when Pam stopped.

“Jim, I want to say something.”  He froze and his smile disappeared.

“Oooh-Kay,” he strung the word out.  He didn’t know what Pam was up to.

“I have no right to say what I’m about to say.”  She paused.  “Jim, I blew it.  I fucked up.  I had the best guy on the planet and I threw it away.”  She paused again.  Jim said nothing, but the hurt was in his face.  Pam continued, “I am so sorry.  I got caught up with Pratt...and Alex, I lost sight of what I had.  I have no right to ask, but...”  She looked at Jim.  She started to sniffle.  "Could I have another chance?  I love you.”   Jim stared at Pam for what seemed like an hour.

“Just like that? Pam, you crushed me.  I was so hurt.  I just don’t know if I could take it again.”

“I know, Jim.  I will never forgive myself.  But if I had the chance, l would spend my life making it up to you.”   

"But to say that here and now is easy.  What about a month, a year, ten years from now?  What if the next guy is handsome and good to you?  How do I know you won’t bail?”

“I know," Pam replied.”  I know.  But I’ve grown up.  I’m not the same person.  Just a chance, that's all I’m asking.” Jim looked stone faced.  

“Pam I came here hoping for us to get back.  But now I’m not so sure.  I love you, but I have to think.  I mean you did this once and with a creep.  I just don’t know.”  

“I know,” she said.  “Will you think about it?"  Jim stared at Pam.  She was beautiful.  He was still so smitten.  The words just flowed.  

“We can try.  To be honest, I‘m skeptical, but I’m willing.”  Pam smiled.  ”But a couple of things,“ he continued, "I have to be number one in your life.  Not art, not your career.  I hate to sound like Roy, but it has to be like that.  Also no late parties away from me.  I want to trust you completely.  Still in?”    

“Completely in,” Pam replied.  In her heart she knew she could do this and more important, she knew that she would.  ”Just give me that chance!”  Jim smiled and stood.  Pam ran to him and grabbed his hands.  Jim flinched in pain.  “What’s wrong?”  Pam asked.  She looked down; Jim’s right hand was swollen, dried blood on the knuckles. ”What happened?”     

“Oh I ran into your old friend, Alex, on the way from the parking lot.  We--uh--we talked!”  Pam smiled.

“Liar, liar, liar.”  She stood on tiptoes and kissed him.  Looking towards the window, Pam noticed it was still raining, but it was the sunniest rain she had ever seen!