“Pam! The Pam-ster! How are you? How are you?”

“Michael! I’m good.”

“I hiked a mountain!”

“Wow, you--really?”

“A mountain, Pam! They call it a 14er here. I almost didn’t make it. I almost died.”

“What?”

“I mean, I thought I was almost going to die. It was like, I could breathe. Then I couldn’t breathe. Then I stopped walking and could breathe again, but then I couldn’t breathe.”

“Well, there’s less oxygen at higher altitudes.”

“Oh, but it was so beautiful. You should have seen it, Pam. I was literally breathless.”

“Because of the altitude or the--”

“The animals!”

“Because of the animals?”

“There were big, white mountain goats! I tried to touch one, but Holly wouldn’t let me.”

“That’s--Holly was definitely right.”

“And there were tiny little things that hopped across rocks and boulders. They looked like a cross between a bunny and a chinchilla. I call them bunchillas.”

“That’s probably not what they’re called."

“I took a bunch of pictures. There’s one--I was jumping, and Holly got me in mid-air! At the top of a mountain! I was even higher than the mountain!”

“That’s really great, Michael.”

“It is great! I love it here.”

“I’m so glad.”

“Oh, and Holly’s pregnant.”

“What?”

~~~

“So, Jim, did you hear? They made pot legal in Colorado!”

“I heard.”

“You could smoke it wherever you want! It’s like a hippie paradise out here!”

“Well, you can’t smoke it wherever --”

“Free love! Free weed!”

“And it’s not free.”

“It’s everywhere, Jim! There’s a place right next to my office. I could see it. There’s a giant green cross on the front. People look so happy when they come out of there.”

“Okay, well--”

“And there’s a Chipotle right next to it.”

“I bet they do a killer business.”

“They do! Burritos are very popular here! There are a lot of college kids. And Mexicans. Or, well, maybe they’re not Mexicans. They could be from anywhere ‘south of the Mason-Dixon Line.’”

“Well, that’s technically true, but I think you mean ‘south of the bor’--”

“Oh! Hey! Oscar might know where they’re from! I’m too afraid to ask them in person. Can you put him on? Put Oscar on. I’ll describe them, and then I’ll know, and I’ll be able to strike up a conversa--”

“Nope. No. Oscar, uh--left. He left.”

“Oh. Well. Okay, well, maybe next time.”

“Yeah, maybe next time.”

~~~

“Michael, we didn’t expect to hear from you again so soon.”

“Is it a bad time?”

“No, no. It’s just--we just saw you at the wedding a month ago.”

“Oh, I think the lovely Pam did more than just see me. That dance was--whew --Jim, I’d be worried if I were you.”

“You’re on speaker, by the way.”

“Hi, Michael.”

“Pam! Pam, Pam! You handsy minx.”

“Michael, stop.”

“Right, sorry. You’re not a handsy minx. Well, maybe you are.”

“Michael. Michael.”

“Yeah?”

“We’re actually glad you called, because--”

“You are? Oh, that’s--it didn’t seem like you were--”

“We wanted to tell you--”

“We’re moving.”

“You're moving? Away from Scranton?”

“Yeah, yeah, we’re moving to Austin.”

“Texas?”

“Yeah, we drive out in about a week.”

“Oh! Wow! You’ll--you’ll only be one state away!”

“Well. Not really.”

“You could visit Colorado! You’d love it. I could--oh, I could show you a real ghost town. I’ve heard they’re cool, although I’m not sure how haunted they really are.”

“I don’t think they’re haunted at all, actually. I think they’re more of a historic, abandoned--”

“No, they’re haunted. Why else would they be called ghost towns? Come on, Jim.”

“Yeah, come on, Jim.”

“Okay, well, anyway, Michael, we move in about a week, and I’m sure I’ll need to swing through Denver for work, so we’ll let you know when we’re in the area.”

“That--that sounds--magnificent. Don’t forget!”

“Don’t worry. We could never forget.”