Moogie Man Disappears! Chapter one
He was gone. That much was certain. It took Jim and Pam less than a day to notice. He watered his dirt(no grass), sat on his swing, and watched the sun go down every evening, he was hard not to notice. He was nice enough, a little strange. (Well, a lot strange.) They always remembered the day they met him. They were moving into Jim’s parent’s house. Jim had a box filled with CeCe’s toys.
“Where’s your daughter?” The voice sounded almost elfish.
“WHAT?” Pam’s mother bear side jumped into her brain.
“Your daughter, your little girl?”
“She’s at Pam’s mothers…” Jim said. “oof!” Pam elbowed him in the stomach, hard.
”Who are you?” Pam demanded. “How do you know we have a daughter?” He was very small, much shorter than Pam. He had on bright red pants, held up by suspenders. Bald, chubby, he wasn’t much to look at. But what Pam did notice (and tried to forget) was that he had no shirt on. He always looked the same, except in the coldest weather, he would have a blue t-shirt on. Not a pretty sight.
“Oh, I’m sorry. My name is Moogie Man.”
“What? Boogie Man?” Jim tried not to laugh.
“No, you Zada, Moogie Man. My mother named me!”
“Your Mother named you Moogie Man?” Jim was losing the battle, not to laugh.”What’s a Zada?”
Pam jumped in. “How do you know we have a daugher? “
“Well, your gentleman friend has a box with a doll in it.I notice things.” “Such as?”
Well, you two are very much In love, but you were friends first.”
Pam folded her arms. “And how do you know that?”
“I can’t give away all my secrets.” He grinned. “Actually , a wild guess. Hee Hee Hee.” He hugged himself, he was so pleased at Jim and Pam’s faces. “Well, neighbors, if I stay, you’re liable to ask me to help, so…”He took off running a strange little trot towards his house, cackling the whole way.
“Well, Mr. Halpert, this is the neighborhood you are taking me to?”
“Oh, I’m sure he’s not always so weird. What’s a Zada?” Jim was wrong. Although they grew used to Moogie Man,even amused by him,they always looked back at this day as the most normal they saw him act!
Chapter 2 Every night, after sunset, Moogie would go over to a weathered desk on the porch, and type on an ancient Remington typewriter. He was consumed by his writng, often laughing loudly at his own jokes. Jim learned early on not to disturb him, during his writng time. Jim had walked over and stood by the steps.
“What are you writing about?” Jim asked.
Moogie Man looked over his glasses, not saying a word, for a full ten seconds. Suddenly, he seemed to explode. He jumped up, glasses flying off his head, waving his arms frantically. He grabbed the paper, and ripped it up. “You, you,you….Zada! Never talk to me when I”m writing. This is important stuff. Now I have to start over.”
“Sorry,” Jim said,”Would you mind telling me what you are writing. I’m interested.”
“Me too.” Pam had wandered over to see what all the commotion was.
Moogie Man looked at Jim, then at Pam, and back to Jim. “Stories. Stories about people, people in this here town. Actually, about Dunder Mifflin.”
“True stories?” Pam asked.
“Naw. They could be true, but they ain’t”
“What do you mean “could be true?”
“Well, I know their personalities, weaknesses, hobbies, everything about them.”
“What do you do with one when it’s done?”
“Send it off to the editors, hoping they will accept it, publish it.”
“Wait a minute,” Jim interrupted. “You’re telling me that you know about all the Dunder Mifflin people?”
“Yep. Know em all. Michael,Meredith, even Todd Packer, who’s a whore hound. I’d like to talk more, but Pam’s at Pratt in my story, deciding to come home or not.” Jim and Pam stood with open mouths wide open.
“You’re writing about me? Who gave you permssion? How do you know about Pratt?”
“All these questions. I got to finish my story. Be gone you Zadas!”
Chapter Three As the days went by, Jim and Pam grew somewhat used to Moogie. Although he refused to explain how he knew about Dunder Mifflin, he would answer factual questions:
“Where did Andy go to College?”
“What did Dwight grow on his farm?”
A hard one.(That’s what she said.)”How did Ed Truck die?”
“How do you know these things?”
“MTT.” Anytime he didn’t want to answer a question, he say”MTT.”
“What does that mean?” Jim asked?”
“Mean? That’s the answer to your question. You, of all people, should know that, Jim,”
“Me? MTT?. I don’t get it.” Jim looked at Pam. Pam shrugged. So, whenever they asked a question about how he knew the things about Dunder Mifflin, they would get the same response. MTT!
Chapter Four One person that didn’t find Moogie Man strange, was CeCe. She would laugh and clap her hands as soon as she saw him. He would pick her up and dance with her. It was really quite endearing. One evening she was playing with Pam in the sand box, that Jim had made for her. She looked up and saw Moogie Man approaching. “Moogie Man,” she squealed. Moogie Man were her first words. When other parents would talk about their child’s first word, usually”DaDa” or “MaMa’, Pam would love the perplexed looks on their faces, when she told them what CeCe’s were.
Chapter five In late November, when it was getting beyond cold, Moogie Man started wearing his blue t-shirt. It didn’t seem like nearly enough, but it was the only concession he would make to the winter. Jim walked over to Moogie Man’s yard, one very cold night, and offered Moogie Man a coat Moogie Man gave him that now familiar look over his glasses. Jim shuffled his feet, waiting for the storm. Instead, Moogie Man just smiled. “You mean well, don’t you, Jim? I’ve got plenty of coats. I just don’t need one.”
“How do you stay warm?”
“You know the answer,don’t you, Jim?”
“MTT?” Jim ventured.
Moogie Man got up, and headed for the door. “You are pretty sharp, Jim Boy, even if you are a Zada.”
“Hey, Jim called out, “What’s a Zada?” But Moogie Man had closed the door.
Chapter six The next evening, Moogie Man didn’t come out.Pam amd Jim kept walking to the window, and looking out. “Maybe he’s sick.” Pm said. After their first encounter, Pam had gradually mellowed, and loved to watch Moogie Man and CeCe play together.
“Maybe we should check.” Jim nodded.
Pam took CeCe next door to the Lawson’s house and asked them to watch her for a few minutes.
Jim and Pam approached Moogie Man’s house nervously. They were prepared for the worst. There was a note taped to the door, labeled “Jim and Pam.
Pam opened it and read out loud. “Jam, I lied to ye. I don’t own a coat, and I am freezing. So I gots to head out. Take care of your little girl. She is precious. The door ain’t locked so go on in. Theys a bunch of envelopes on the floor. Theys licked shut, and has names on them. One for every Dunder Mifflin worker- Creed, Kelly- all of them. Please see that they get distributed. Theys one for you also, even one for your little girl and your litttle boy. That’s right Pam, you pregnant, and it’s a boy. How do I know? All together.”
“MTT,” Jim and Pam chorused.
Epilogue Pam’s lettter: Pam, you are quite a gal: pretty, smart, good hearted, talented artist. You got a wonderful family. Make sure they first in your life. Pam, I know you want to be an artist and maybe go back to that school. DON’T DO IT! You’re a good artist, but you’re a great Mom and wife. You like art, but you need your marriage. Believe it or not, I had a wife once, but I didn’t make her first in my life. I lost her. Don’t make that mistake. Like the Beatles said “ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE!!”
Jim’s letter: Jim, you a good man, maybe too good. When you started up with Pam, didn’t you know how Roy had treated her. He told her what to do all the time. She didn’t know how to decide nothing. Then you just take it for granted that she’ll do the right thing. She don’t even know what the right thing is. Is it her marriage or her art? Which comes first? You got to help her. Sometimes you got to say NO. Like Chuck Berry said, “My Ding-aLing!” No, wait, wrong song. Like the Beatles said, “We Can Work It Out!”
PS Jim never learned what a Zada was.