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Author's Chapter Notes:
What if Pam reached out before Jim came back to Scranton to clear the air? This is my take on AU Season 3. Pre Merger. 

Jim was headed back to Scranton. To Pam. And to Pay and Roy, ampersand. Maybe he should quit over seeing her again. He was trying to start over with Karen but she didn’t make him laugh and smile as Pam did. The effortless way Pam knew him absolutely. 


Ding.


He looked up from his thoughts as a new email came through. 


From Pam Beesly - Receptionist at Scranton Branch


Hi Jim, 


I heard you’re coming back to Scranton possibly. I doubt you’d want to be anywhere near me after the events before you left. I just wanted to let you know some things. I’ve been on this new thing where I’m very honest about my feelings and not holding back like I have been for a really long time. 


So you sprung a lot of things on me and maybe I had my head in the sand because obviously I was super into you and had not (as much as you don’t want to hear this) been having sex with my fiancé for two years when I just kept thinking about you. 


So you sprung a lot on me that night and as much as I felt for you I have a lot of stuff tied to Roy, bank accounts, houses, cars because I was with him since high school when I felt flattered that a popular guy liked dorky arty Pam. When I said I can’t it wasn’t because I didn’t want to. My heart said yes but my head was overthinking. I’m always overthinking you know that. 


So yeah, June 10th passed a long time ago as I’m sure you’re aware. I’m not married, I’m not engaged. So you don’t have to worry about me being all in your face about anything. If I knew how you felt, I would have never put my relationship in your face, I would have never hurt you like that. You’re my favorite person and I used to be yours. 


I hope you had at least a good time in Australia. I heard you met someone in Connecticut. She looks very pretty (I sneaked a peek at the website) - so you don’t have to worry about me trying to break up your new relationship, I clearly didn’t make you happy so I get it. No hard feelings. 


In case it isn’t clear I definitely felt the same that night. I obviously kissed you back.  A couple times. I still think about how you hands felt spread against my back and your hand in my hair. I have been in love with you for longer than I realized. 


So I went on a couple dates trying to get over you because I obviously lost my chance at being with you. But they don’t call me back so I think I’m just going to concentrate on me and work on my art - Roy never let me do it at his house (that’s what I consider it now) that’s why I was always doing it at the office but I’ve been doing a lot of community art classes and I am really enjoying it. 


I got this dorky little blue Yaris that I know you’d make fun of me for. C’mon Beesly - that car sucks in the snow…Scranton winters…I know. But it works for me. I have a tiny apartment - its basically have a kitchen with a small living room and a bedroom but its enough for me. 


So anyways I just wanted to tell you all that. I hope Karen doesn’t hurt you like I did. If she does, ’ll beat her up, no one hurts my best friend.


I will act normal when you come in so don’t worry about me bringing this up in person in front of your new girlfriend. 


I promise this is the last time: I love you, Jim. 


Pam.




Jim closed his eyes after reading that email. God, everything he ever wanted was just sitting there in Scranton. He could have reached out to her and still been friends but he just didn’t want to be hurt. 


“Hey is everything okay?” He looked up to see Karen there looking concerned. 


“Oh. Yeah, my head is just killing me. I think I have a migraine….I might go home and sleep it off.” He smiled disarmingly. 


“Oh. Yeah, hopefully you’ll feel better in the morning.” God he hated that she was so nice. 


“I hope so.” 





He knocked on Josh’s door. He was packing his stuff into some boxes. “Hey Jim! What’s up? Excited about returning home?”


“I am getting more used to the idea. But I got a killer migraine…Do you mind if I head home early?”


“Oh sure of course! Hope you feel better!” 


“Thanks so much, Josh.” 


“No worries!”



He opened the door to his apartment and sighed, putting his keys on the counter. He opened his phone and scrolled through to Larissa. 


New text to Larissa:

Hey when are you free to talk?


New text from Larissa:

I’m free now. Want me to call you?


New text to Larissa:

Yes please.


Call incoming from Larissa. 


“Hey L.” 


“Sup dork. So what’s up?” 


“So we just got news that Stamford branch is closing and we’re merging with Scranton.”


“Are you okay with that?”


“i’m so confused Larissa.” He exclaimed. 


“What happened?”

 

“I got a email from Pam…”

 

“The one that broke your heart? You never did tell me the whole story…” 


“Yeah that Pam. So I was totally in love with Pam but she was engaged to this tool…Had been with him for like eight years and they had a house together and shared cars and stuff. Well one night I got my nerve and I kissed her and she kissed me back and I told her I was in love with her and I didn’t want to be just friends anymore and she said I cant and I left and ran away to Australia and Stamford.”


“Wait Jim are you serious? You just expected her to drop everything and run off into the sunset after you kissed her? Even if she was madly in love, she still had a fiancé to break up with and stuff to figure out. Did you talk to her after you left?”


“No…”


“Jim…”


“And then I get this email today and I was trying so hard to get over her and dating Karen and she sends me this email that she never married him and that she loves me and she has a Yaris and I just miss her so much.”


“Jim…”


“And I miss how she smells and how she eats berry yogurt and I miss seeing her doodle while taking phone messages and I miss how she would always have these super secret smiles for me and she was always so sad when Roy came in. She would always help me play pranks on Dwight and I miss her saying Dunder Mifflin this is Pam…”


“Jim… If Pam loves you then you need to get her back. I know how miserable you are in Stamford, Jim. I’ve pretended to be someone to go and see her and she always looks so sad, Jim. I know you feel the same. You’re deluding yourself by being with Karen… I know she’s nice but she doesn’t make your blood pump and she doesn’t make you gush like you’ve gushed about Pam.”


“Yeah, you’re right.” 


“Jim, you have to figure out if you want to be with Pam or if she’s hurt you too much. But it kind of sounds like you hurt her too, if we’re being honest.” 


“Yeah you might be right.”


“You should really think about what you want, Jim.”


“Thanks Larissa. I do need to think.” 


“Bye Jim, I hope I helped. I love you.”


“I love you too L. You did.”



Jim grabbed a beer from the fridge and sighed, plopping on the couch. He sighed and ran his hands through his hair. He remembered when she had her hands in his hair and her scent was all around him. He ran his hands over his face and took a long pull of his beer. 


God he missed her. 


He pulled out his phone. Scrolled to K and sent a text.


 

Hey Karen I think we need to talk about Scranton.

Chapter End Notes:

So I don't write a lot anymore but this spilled out and I thought I'd post it. I'm sure this is riddled with awful spelling errors and possibly things that didn't happen yet or inconsistencies. I really dislike non Jim/Pam episodes because I just love them as a couple so much so I tried to piece together what I remembered. Please be kind. :3

 

Edit: Thank you to Warrior4 for kicking me in the butt about the font. Gosh. 


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