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Author's Chapter Notes:
Jim and Pam begin to plan.

Jim waited for the printer to spit out the second document and started in on the first. God, Pam would be so helpful for this; she could do a much better job than him. But he wasn’t going to wake her up for it; plenty of time to deal with it in the morning, assuming he could sleep. And anyway, he could get started—she’d probably appreciate it if he’d at least made a stab before dragging her into it.

 

“Hey.” He almost jumped at the sound of her voice. It was like his very thought had conjured her out of thin air. “I couldn’t sleep. Whatchya up to?” She might not have been able to sleep but her voice was full of the same sleepiness that pulled at his every move.

 

“Oh, uh, this.” He brandished the paper and then realized there was no way she could read it. “I think I might have found a solution to Stamford, assuming I’m not just delirious from lack of sleep.”

 

“I’m not sure how much help I can be in that regard, but I’m willing to try.” She took the paper once he stopped waving it. “What is this?”

 

“The job description for the Assistant Regional Manager at Stamford.”

 

“Your job?” She looked puzzled. “But you already have your job. I thought maybe we could look for my job, but then I thought about the kids and…” she ground to a halt, and he realized his face must be conveying the full extent to which he was lost. “It doesn’t matter. What’s this about?”

 

Oh, right. He hadn’t explained anything yet.

 

“I figured that if we looked at my job description, we could figure out who could replace me there. And as an added bonus, I found out that I’m not qualified.” He pointed at the requirement he’d circled. “See? No degree in Business or Retail Management.”

 

“It says ‘preferred,’” she pointed out.  “But nice try.”

 

“Oh well. But it doesn’t really matter anyway, because look at the rest of it.”

 

She furrowed her brow—she was so cute when she concentrated—and read down the page. “What am I looking for here?”

 

“The other preferred qualifications—and I still say that the college degree is required, it’s up here, see?” He pointed and she swatted his finger away.

 

“Yes, the degree is required, but the type is preferred…” she scanned further. “I still don’t see whatever you’re talking about.”

 

“MBA in hand or anticipated…” he prompted.

 

“Oh! Ryan!” She smiled but then frowned. “But we agreed he doesn’t have the experience.”

 

He grinned. This was the best part of the prank—and he’d already decided that the best way to think about getting out of his commitment to Jan and Stamford was as a prank—and he couldn’t wait to share it with her. “No, he doesn’t. But he doesn’t need it.” He pointed to the next line. “MBA accepted…”

 

“…in lieu of sales experience.” She raised a hand and he high-fived it. “But it still says he needs two-to-five years of additional relevant experience.”

 

“That’s where you come in.” He reached to the printer and handed her the other file as it finished printing.

 

**

 

She put the job ad down and took what he handed her, glancing at the page as she did so. “Ryan Howard, 410 Clay Avenue, Scranton…” she looked up. “How the hell did you get Ryan’s resume?”

 

He grinned the grin she always associated with him messing with Dwight. “Come on, you can’t guess?”

 

She swatted him with the paper. “Not at 3am I can’t. Tell me.”

 

His grin widened. “Remember when Ryan joined the company?”

 

“As a temp or as a real boy?”

 

“Good one. Does that make Michael Giapetto?” He chuckled. “Either, but I meant as a temp.”

 

“Vaguely…didn’t Michael make like an embarrassing splash about it?”

 

“He did.” Jim nodded his head towards the paper in her hand. “So big of a splash he actually emailed out Ryan’s resume to all of us to show us what a ‘catch’ he’d made.” He made the finger gestures at “catch” and she smiled. This was the side of him she liked best—the part where he had fun with everything.

 

“And you kept it?” She fingered the paper. “Is there something I should know about you and Ryan? Are you competing with Michael for his favors?” She tried her best to keep a straight face, and she must have succeeded because he looked very confused.

 

“Uh, what?”

 

“Come on, like you haven’t noticed how Michael stares at him.” She rolled her eyes and he nodded.

 

“Fair point. No, I just never delete anything.”

 

“What, never?”

 

“Well, hardly ever.” He winked. “And definitely not things that make me laugh, like Michael’s email about Ryan.”

 

“Oh god.” She was starting to remember. “Is that the one that starts in all caps?”

 

“WE GOT HIM, yes.” Jim mock-yelled the all-caps portion. “And it just got better from there.”

 

“I think you mean worse.” She looked at the document in her hand. “Look, I hate to burst your bubble here, and I’d like nothing more than to get Ryan hired in your place, but there’s no way the resume that got him a temp job at Scranton is going to get him the ARM position at Stamford, Jim.”

 

“Ah, but that’s where time, a small office, and we—or more specifically, you—come in.” He led her over to a table in the lounge and sat her down at it, kneeling beside her.

 

“Explain.” She was beginning to get the outlines of his idea, but it was 3am, and this was important to get right.

 

He held up his fingers and ticked them off for her. “Time: he’s been working at Dunder Mifflin for at least two years. A small office: we know exactly what he’s been doing with that time. Us: you can punch up that resume to make it look like the Ryan Howard we both know—slacker, arsonist, mediocre-to-bad boyfriend to one Kelly Kapoor—is actually the Ryan Howard Michael thinks he is. And you know when Jan calls Michael he’ll back it up, as long as he doesn’t realize he’s going to lose Ryan in the process.” He batted his eyes at her. “Please, Pam? For us?”

 

“You’re ridiculous.” She reached out and ruffled his hair, then—because she’d always wanted to and she could—leaned over and kissed him. “Of course I’ll do it. But don’t think you’re going to get away with sticking me with all the work. I’m not the one who’s in sales, and this is going to take a lot of salesmanship.”

 

“Maybe, but you are the one who sees everyone’s job applications because Michael’s too lazy to do it himself.”

 

“That’s true. And you should be grateful that it’s not Dwight who does that—or you’d never have been hired.” She kept her hand in his hair, enjoying the feel—and enjoying it even more when he kissed her again.

 

“Does that mean you chose me, Beesly? Because I’m ever so grateful if you did.”

 

She looked him in the eye and made sure he was paying attention before answering. “I always choose you, Halpert. Now let’s get to work.”

Chapter End Notes:

Next chapter: they get to work.

Thanks to all who've read and reviewed! I hope this solution meets your approval. I figure if he's going to be apparently qualified to take Jan's job in a year, he's got to be at least at ARM level now...with the proper massaging. 


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