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Author's Chapter Notes:
Into AU S3 we go!

Pam and Jim weren’t making a particular secret of the fact that they were dating, but they also weren’t advertising it to the office. For one thing, Roy still worked in the warehouse, and while that was definitely 100% over and done (according to Pam, who got to decide after all) both of them agreed that he was definitely the jealous type. For another, they just didn’t really want to get running commentary from the rest of the office on their relationship, especially after Michael outed Oscar as gay and showed his usual lack of tact about it. Most of all, though, they didn’t want to end up like Kelly and Ryan, whose off-and-on romance was definitely off, which was causing her to mope around the office.

 

This being Kelly, moping often took the form of extremely loud and almost venomous consideration of Ryan’s character wherever she happened to be—in the break room, in the annex, or, as now, at Pam’s desk at reception.

 

“I mean, he had the sheer gall to call me, Kelly Kapoor, unnecessary!” she went on. “I mean, like, duh, hello, that’s the point? No one likes things that are necessary. That’s like, rice, or a toilet, or Spanx.” She tossed her head and Pam marveled at her ability to continue a conversation without the need for the other party to intervene. “I am not the rice of a relationship. He is the rice. I’m, like, the amazing awesome stuff you put on it. Rice is boring. It’s the other stuff that’s the shit. I’m the shit. He should be so lucky…”

 

Jim messaged Pam via IM so that Kelly wouldn’t hear (they’d long since stopped allowing their IM notification to make any noise, except for the one time Jim had subtly trained Dwight to react to it with panic).

 

Did she just call Ryan necessary?

And herself shit?

 

Pam smiled—fortunately Kelly took it as a confirmation of whatever point she’d moved on to—and messaged back.

 

You know, I think she did. To both.

 

Jim grinned and replied.

 

Do you think I should tell him?

 

Definitely not.

 

She was grinning now, and that was dangerous around Kelly in full flow.

 

“So you’ll do it?” Kelly suddenly stopped and looked Pam straight in the eye. “Pam, puh-leeze tell me that smile means you’ll do it. I’ll, like, even do your hair and nails and stuff.”

 

“What…” said Pam weakly, and Jim could tell she’d lost the thread of the conversation. So had he, unfortunately, so he couldn’t help her when she looked at him like a deer in the headlights.

 

“Oh, it’s going to be so great!” Apparently ‘what’ was a sufficient yes for Kelly. She frowned at Pam. “This is going to take a little while. We’ll leave for my place right after work.” She turned on her heel and flounced back into the annex, waving a “see you later” over her shoulder as she did so.

 

Pam made her way over to Jim’s desk. He cocked an eyebrow.

 

“So what did you agree to, Beesly?”

 

“I have no idea.” Pam shrugged, and Jim felt concerned. Whatever it was, he couldn’t help—he, Dwight, and Michael were heading down to a conference in Philly for the weekend, and they had to leave tonight because of some stupid teambuilding thing Michael wanted them to do on the way “as three amigos.”

 

“Pamela is going out on the town with Kelly tonight, Jim.” Dwight surprised him by interjecting. “As you would know if you kept your ears open. A good salesman is always listening.” He creased the edge of a piece of paper for no reason Jim could see. “Always. Listening.”

 

“Oh…kay…” Jim drawled it out, and then turned to Pam. “So, like a girl’s night out?”

 

“I hope so.”

 

**

 

It was not a girls’ night out, at least not like Pam had ever had with Izzy or Penny. Kelly had kidnapped her, as promised, at 5 on the dot, and proceeded to spend the next two hours half-making over Pam’s look and half-grabbing the things she’d pulled out for Pam and deciding they looked better on her. It was harmless fun, really, and she was enjoying the idea of showing Jim some of the looks Kelly had tried on her (especially the ones that suddenly revealed a great deal more of her chest than she was used to showing at work).

 

Then Kelly dropped the bomb. “You’re going to love the guy I got for you!”

 

“…What guy?”

 

“Oh, he’s a cartoonist. You’ll love him. His name’s Alan.” Kelly finished applying another layer of something to her lips. “I mean, he’s nowhere near as hot as the guy who’s coming for me, but you two have so much in common. All that art.” She waved a hand. “And anyway, Pam, you need this as much as I do. We’re two ladies who’ve lost the loves of our lives, it’s totally time for us to get right back out there.”

 

Pam considered telling Kelly that Roy was definitely not the love of her life, but was stuck between that and pointing out that even if he wasn’t, he and she had been engaged, not whatever it was that Ryan and Kelly had had. By the time she’d figured out how to balance those two in her head Kelly—and thus the conversation—had moved on.

 

“So get those girls out!” Kelly reached over and pulled her shirt down a little. “Who knows, maybe I won’t need to give you a ride home!” She winked. “Which is good, because I might not be available, if you know what I mean.”

 

Pam suddenly needed to text Jim very badly.

 

Unfortunately, his last text to her told her that they’d arrived at the hotel and Michael had insisted on both Dwight and Jim coming to his room “for the teambuilding event” and bring an entire ream of paper each.

 

Hey

 

Jim was usually a pretty good texter, so that should get his attention.

 

Hey yourself. It turns out that teambuilding is just watching The Three Amigos. Pretty chill.

 

What did you need the ream of paper for?

 

Structural support for Michael’s pillow fort.

 

She snorted, and unfortunately Kelly noticed.

 

“Pam! You cannot, cannot, cannot snort at dinner tonight! I don’t know what kind of women cartoonists like, but I’m pretty sure it isn’t snorters!” She paused. “Although maybe we, as women, should reclaim the snort. Like, who the hell are you to tell me what sounds I can and can’t make!” She experimentally snorted. “No, that is definitely not cute. No snorting tonight, OK? And seriously, where did you even get that from?” She pulled the shawl that Pam had draped over her shoulders off and looked at it. “Since when do I even own this?” She threw it in the corner and went to find something else, apparently for Pam’s shoulders.

 

So apparently Kelly got me a date, Pam typed while Kelly rustled in the closet.

 

What????

 

I didn’t know! It was important that he realize that.

 

I know. Can you get out of it without disappointing her? That was Jim in a nutshell—he knew that for all they made fun of her, disappointing Kelly, especially when she was fragile like now, was not something Pam relished.

 

Probably not.

 

Well, then you owe me two dates—and a blow by blow recounting of this one.

 

Blow by blow? That’s what she said. She smiled at her phone, which buzzed with Jim’s response.

 

Michael would be so proud.

 

The date came to an ignominious end when Alan tried to look down Pam’s shirt and she slapped him. Kelly was so in awe of the slap that she did a total 180, threw a drink in her date’s face, and got them both banned from Applebees. Pam reflected that she was rapidly running out of midtier chain restaurants to eat at—but that was  a small price to pay for ending up eating ice cream on Kelly’s couch while watching Bend It Like Beckham and texting with Jim.

Chapter End Notes:
I hope this worked for you all! Thanks for the reviews and the reading; it means a lot to me to know people are still with me after all this while. 

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