Just Conversation
“Best lay.”
“Wow.”
“Pass?”
“Yea. No – best lay, right?”
“Quit stalling.”
“Summer of ’97. Took a trip to Hawaii with my parents, and the lady at this store showed us this beautiful lei – hey, ow.”
“Penalty shot for wasting my time.”
“You made that up.”
“Just now, in fact.”
He smiles and lets her fill his shot glass.
“Good topic, right?”
“Gold, Randy.” Slurp.
“It’s Andy.”
“Sorry, Mandy.” Slurp.
“Ever heard of chugging?”
“Mm, nope.” Slurrrrp.
“It’s Andy.”
*****************************************************************
He smells nice. It smells like – of – home, always.
“Hey.”
“Hey.” On instinct, she rubs the underside of her ring finger. What used to be.
“Nice party.”
“It’s…festive.” She nods, widening her eyes and pressing her lips together in unreadable acquiescence.
“Listen, um – “
“Do you wanna – “
“Sorry, go ah – “
“No, you should – “
She laughs. It’s a good sound. He wonders why it sounds like the first time.
“We suck at this, huh?” She’s smiling, amused.
“Well, practice makes – “
“A penny earned?”
He laughs. It’s a good sound.
“Wanna dance?”
*****************************************************************
“I’m not going to kiss you.”
He shrugs.“Your loss, Sandy.”
“Why don’t you just suck my nuts, Tuna.”
“I thought we weren’t even going to first base.”
She forms the shape of a T with her hands. She has nice hands.
“Come on. You have to take the dare.”
“Nuh-uh. Cruel and unfair punishment.”
“You mean ‘unusual.’” He smirks.
“Shut – “
“Take the dare, Andy.”
“Why don’t you kiss him?”
“If I do, will you?”
“Deal.”
He chokes on his spit.
*****************************************************************
“I’d rather not.”
“Okay.” He shrugs.
“Sorry.”
“No, it’s fine.”
“Really?” She’s frowning now, worried.
“Yea. Yes.” Forcing a smile.
“Okay.”
“You…look nice.”
“Thanks.”He looks out, far and beyond…her. It’s easier to concentrate on something that doesn’t exist. His voice is searching for a note that will ring true.
“I miss you.” He never did have perfect-pitch.
She looks miserable.
“Roy – “
“It’s not just that – “
“Please – “
“I still love you.”
He thinks the world stops.
*****************************************************************
“Are you okay?” She pats his back. Not forcefully enough.
“Yea.” Cough.
“What’re you choking on, Tuna? I know CPR.”
“Just spit.”
She laughs.
“That’s sexy.”
“You choke on spit?”“Guess we’ll have to raincheck on that kiss now.”
He smiles.*****************************************************************
“Roy – “
She doesn’t actually hear herself. She thinks she’s just speaking to stop motion. And she’s almost tempted, because the next step seems inevitable. And completely familiar. Like home.
But he stops, his face just millimeters from hers. He’s changed too, she thinks.
“I really fucked us up, didn’t I?”
“No.”“I’m an idiot.”
“Don’t. It’s not…it’s not you. Anymore.”
“I don’t understand.”
*****************************************************************
He’s packing now, but he leaves his cell phone on his desk. Just in case. He doesn’t think he’s waiting for anything, but he knows he always is. For what, he doesn’t know.
Maybe just conversation.
*****************************************************************
She thinks she’s talked out for the night. She thinks Roy might never understand. Quite on instinct – or was it purposely planned? It occurs to her that there may not be a difference – she reaches for her cell phone.
It’s just making conversation.
*****************************************************************
“Nuh-uh. Cruel and unfair punishment.”
“You mean ‘unusual.’”
He smirks. And watches as the screen on his phone lights up. Blares.
“Shut – “
He thinks he should answer it.
“Take the dare, Andy.”
“Why don’t you kiss him?”
“If I do, will you?”
Jim, I miss you.
“Deal.”
He chokes on his spit.
- Pam.
