Almost every evening, Pam invites Jim to her apartment. It's not about the sex, not at all. All she wants is to hold on to him in case he floats away again. She practically ties him to the sofa and hugs him as hard as she can. He thinks it's sweet. He thinks she's sweet.
But he doesn't know why she does it. She knows, obviously. She knows it's silly, but she doesn't want him to go again. She doesn't want him to leave her. She's missed him so much, and now he's finally hers.
Late at night, she'll wake up, boiling hot. She sits up, bleary eyed, and looks over at him. He looks cold. With a panic, she realises she's hogging the duvet. She's worried. He was naked, too. He must be freezing. Gently, she rearranges the duvet so that it covers him too, making sure he has a little bit more than her.
"Thank you," he mumbles sleepily. She jumps slightly, not realising that he was awake. "Sorry," she lies down again and presses her body against his. She wraps her arms around him and kisses the back of his neck. He chuckles softly. "That's alright," he yawns. "Look, you're clearly used to sleeping by yourself, do you want me to go?"
"No!" She says quickly. "Please stay..." Pam hugs him even tighter.
"Pam, I can't breathe."
"Sorry!" She lets go. "I just don't want you to go...I'm not letting you go again."
"What?" He asks softly, sitting up and looking at her in the dark. He can just see the outline of her, and her curls, flowing down her back and a few clumps around the front. He reaches over the side of the bed to slip his boxers on so he doesn't feel so weird talking to her naked. She pulls the bedsheets over her bare breasts so she's also somewhat covered up. Outside, they can hear the hum of cars driving past, and the only light sources are the amber glow of the street lamps. "What are you talking about?"
She plays with her hair with hand, the other one holding up the bedsheets. "I don't want you to leave me again, like you did in Stamford, I-I mean..." she sighs. "I'm a baby, I know."
"No," he began, moving closer to her. "You're my baby." He placed one hand on her cheek. "...that is your face, isn't it? I can't see very well. I'm not groping you, am I? That wasn't my intention."
She lets out a shaky giggle. "No, you are not groping me, don't worry about it." Pam sighs softly, savouring the feel of his silky hand on her cheek. She wraps her hand around his own. "...Jim...I'm ready to tell you."
"Tell me what?" He questions. He slowly removes his hand before pulling her onto his lap. She's worried about her nakedness, in case he gets hard- she's too tired for that. But he seems to have something else in mind as he looks at her. "What do you want to tell me, sweetheart?"
"I..." she stared at him. She could see him in better detail in this light; he really was beautiful. "I love you, Jim..."
His lips twist into a large smile. "I love you too, princess." He kisses her forehead softly and smiles. "You're so beautiful. Even when you do hog the bed sheets," he chuckles lightly, but it's not meant in a spiteful way. "Here, let me tuck you in."
He lays her down softly, kissing her momentarily, before tucking the mandevilla-coloured sheets over her again. Pam was embarrassed; she had pink bed sheets, after all, and Jim was a man. She thought he might be embarrassed too, but when they first slept together, Jim had merely said "These are really pretty sheets!" And flopped onto the bed, making her laugh. He was so precious.
Pam fell asleep really quickly. The next time she woke up, it was later on, but it was still quite dark outside. She was woken up by movement. She sat up slightly, resting on her elbows, and looked at the clock on her bedside table. It read '3:46'. She sat up straight and looked at him, not caring that her bare breasts were now on display, and she sees him getting out of bed. "Where are you going?" She asked quickly.
He jumped a little, glancing at her. "You scared me, babe...I was just heading the bathroom, my love." He leans over and plants a soft kiss on her fluffy head. "Go back to sleep, darling, I will be back in a second."
She sighs, "okay."
He leaves the room, and while he's gone, she fiddles relentlessly with her hands and her hair, trembling. What if he was just leaving permanently? But why would he do that in just his boxers? She needed to calm down very badly.
He came back about a minute later, shutting the bedroom door behind him. He stumbles blindly back over to the bed and slides back in beside her. "Thank God," she whispers and wraps her arms around him and nuzzles her head into his neck. He chuckles softly. "Oh, my love. You're so amazing," Jim strokes her hair, "But you really must get off to sleep, okay?" They share a smile. "We have work tomorrow. Well, today, now."
"I know," she sighed. "But it's Friday tomorrow. Well, today, now. Can we spend the weekend at yours? I'm getting...kind of sick of my apartment."
"Sure, but...are you going to be as clingy there as you are here?"
She pauses, then nods, grinning. He laughs quietly, and she can see he's tired. The dark lines under his eyes tell a story. She knows that he was an insomniac in 2002. She wonders if it ever affects him now, and that's why she finds him awake often. Or maybe he doesn't have insomnia anymore. Maybe he's exhausted and just wants to get back to sleep. He could simply ignore her and do whatever he wants, he could tell her to be quiet and get some rest before he loses his mind. And yet, here he is now, staying up and having a small chat with her. Jesus Christ, she loves him. "Okay, Princess. Off to sleep now." She can tell it's more for own benefit and not for his.
She kisses him on the cheek, then lies down.
She feels him wrap his arms around her protectively, resting his chin on the top of her head. He radiates warmth. "I love you."
"I love you too, Jim..." she whispers, and she really does mean it. She's meant it ever since she first met him.