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Story Notes:
Only proceed if you like a hearty side of angst with your smut. This will be a 2-parter.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Casino Night takes a turn

“Have you given any more thought to the transfer?”

“Oh, yeah.”

“Good. Have you told anyone?”

“No.”

“Well, you should.”

Jim nodded and mumbled something about Jan’s suggestion being a good idea and took his leave, deciding to take a lap around the building before heading back into the loud noises and flashing lights of the warehouse casino. You should tell someone, little did Jan know the one person he would tell just happened to also be the reason he was leaving.

Staring at the pavement, he didn’t hear the truck idling until he was halfway along the side of the building and he was tempted to turn around when he saw the glint of shiny purple and her standing at the drivers window. Jim quickened his steps, hoping to sneak past the truck before being spotted.

“Halpert!” Roy’s gruff voice called. Jim let out a small sigh and took a step towards the truck. “Pammy can get a ride home from you, right?”

Jim put on a smile and nodded, “Of course.” Roy grunted and turned back to Pam. Jim looked down and studied his shoes, vaguely hearing Roy say something about staying at Kenny’s and heading out first thing and if Pam was really okay for the weekend before the truck rolled off. When a pair of purple heels came into view, Jim took a few seconds to lift his head, documenting every detail of the figure in front of him, the way the shiny fabric clung to her curves and the soft curls rested on her clavicle. Finally his eyes reached her face with that bright look Jim liked to think was reserved for him, foolish as that sounded. “How’s it going,” he stammered.

“Pretty good, especially after beating you at poker,” Pam replied cheerfully. She laced her fingers, pushing her breasts together ever so slightly and Jim clenched his fist.

Jan’s words pop into his head again, and Jim had to look slightly past Pam’s head to muster the courage. “I, uh, I actually wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Oh, does it involve getting more of your money?” Pam teased. Jim chuckled and continued to avoid looking directly at her as Pam said something about playing more poker and feeling pretty lucky tonight.

“No, none of that, I just...” I’m in love with you, his mind screamed, I’m in love with you and watching you plan your wedding to that jackass is slowly killing me. He met Pam’s eyes, now looking slightly worried at the amount of time Jim was taking to respond. God, I’m in love with you.

“Jim?”

“I was just talking to Jan and I’m transferring to Stamford,” Jim blurted out.

Pam’s mouth formed a small ‘oh’. “That’s um, that’s good news, right?” she said after a moment.

Jim shoved his hands in his pockets and started shifting his weight from foot to foot. “Yeah, it’s a raise and a better title and all that. So I suppose it’s good.”

Pam leaned forward and tilted her head to catch Jim’s eye, “You sure don’t seem like you think it’s good,” Pam said with a nervous chuckle.

Jim had no joke to break the tension, no smile to put on, so he just looked at Pam.

Pam’s own smile faded and she didn’t seem to know what to do with her hands. “So, are you - are you transferring after you go to Australia or…”

Jim scoffed slightly and shook his head, “You know I never bought tickets to Australia.”

At least ten expressions crossed Pam’s face before she spoke in a small voice. “You didn’t?” Jim shook his head once again and Pam’s expression shifted to one almost on the verge of tears. “Why… why did you lie to me?”

“Because,” Jim felt a stinging in his own eyes, “because it was easier than having to explain why I can’t be at your wedding.” Pam gave him a questioning look and Jim stared back down at ground once again. “I can’t be at your wedding, Pam, I can’t watch you marry him,” he said in a whisper.

“Look, I know you’re not Roy’s biggest fan, and that’s my fault, all I do is tell you the bad things.”

“It's not that.” He took a deep breath and looked into Pam’s eyes. “It’s - it’s more than that.” What was the point of secrets anymore, for three years he had kept this inside hoping it would fade but could only feel it getting stronger. Pam would reject him, Jim knew that, but at least he could say he was honest. “I’m in love with you.”

Her lips trembled and eyes darted around. Jim felt a little guilty for a second, saying it so plainly, giving her no choice but to address it. “Jim, I … your friendship means everything to me, you know that.”

Jim shook his head, “Don’t.” Maybe a year ago Jim would have let Pam’s “friendship” interpretation slide but not tonight. He needed something from her even if it’s a “no” or a “fuck off.” He kept his gaze on her, “Don’t do that.”

Pam spoke in a shaky voice, her eyes shining, “Why are you doing this, what do you want from me?” Jim gave a shrug and she shifted from scared to frustrated. “I’m getting married, I can’t just ….”

There was a thud in the distance and both of them snapped their heads to the sound. Jim squinted and saw who he believed was Creed, picking up a giant, heavy looking box he apparently dropped. Jim almost laughed at the ridiculousness of it all, but when he went face Pam she wasn’t there. He turned around, seeing her walk briskly to the front door of the office park. He sighed, wiping the tear from the corner of his eye and started walking slumped-shouldered back to the warehouse.

After grabbing a soda, Jim slinked off to the back corner. His coworkers were still largely occupied with the games, gathered around the craps and roulette tables, which he’s grateful for since he doubted he could summon any enthusiasm for small talk. He should just leave, Pam could get a ride with anyone, he thought. Hell, she probably ran off inside to call a cab. Still internally debating, the glint of purple appeared in his periphery.

“I think I’m ready to go,” she said, her tone seemed off and she avoided his eyes, but then again it was loud and he was doing his own share of avoiding.

“Yeah, um, you know I bet anyone here would be willing to -“

“Are you ready to go?” Pam interrupted. He looked over to her and their eyes met briefly. Her face was unreadable, no longer upset or frustrated, just blank. Ignoring the voice in his head saying this was a bad idea, he downed the rest of his soda and wordlessly started towards the exit, peeking back to see Pam close behind him.

Neither said anything as they walked to his Corolla and opened the doors. As Jim turned the ignition key and put the car in gear he finally said, “You guys are still on Maple?”

“I don’t want to go home,” she said quietly but firmly. He watched her but she kept her eyes straight ahead. She exhaled shakily then tried to mask it as a chuckle. “I think I want a drink.”

He tapped the steering wheel for a moment, coming to a stop sign. “Um, yeah sure, you have a place in mind?”

“Someplace quiet,” she said again in that odd tone.

“So not back to the warehouse then,” Jim attempted to joke, only getting a polite smile out of Pam. “Um, well, the bar at Cooper's is pretty quiet,” he said as the car came to a stop.

She took another shaky breath and spoke again softly, “What about… you have something to drink, right? Would Mark mind?”

Short circuiting was the only way to describe what was happening in Jim’s brain right then. “Mark’s at his girlfriend’s,” he managed to say.

“Okay,” was all Pam said.

Jim’s brain had rebooted and was now screaming that this was a very bad idea. But he just replied with an, “Okay” and pressed his foot down on the accelerator.

Nothing was said as they drove back to Jim’s place. At the turn Jim would take if he was going to Pam’s, he quickly glanced at Pam only to find her staring straight ahead.

Jim and Mark’s place was completely dark when they arrived and Jim rushed to turn on a couple lights while Pam walked robotically to the couch. Jim stood a few feet in front of Pam, running his hand back through his hair. “What would you like to drink?”

“Something strong,” Pam said without looking up.

Jim rolled back on his heels then went into the kitchen and found vodka and club soda, pouring a generous helping of vodka into two glasses. He returned to the couch and handed Pam a glass, Pam still didn’t make eye contact as she took the glass then drank a sizeable swig. Jim sat on the other side of the couch nervously, taking a couple small sips before Pam finally spoke.

“So … what you said in the parking lot, how … how long have you felt that way?” she said quietly.

Sometime between ‘Hello I’m Pam’ and ‘I’ll let Michael know you’re here’ seemed a little pathetic to admit so Jim settled for, “A long time.”

“What did you want to tell me, on the booze cruise?”

Jim swished vodka soda in his mouth and swallowed hard.

“The way you looked at me, I just... did you want to tell me then?”

“I mostly just wanted to kiss you,” Jim admitted. “But I knew you wouldn’t ... and the cameras were there.”

“The cameras aren’t here now,” Pam said quietly. She turned and finally lifted her face to Jim’s.

Jim gave a chuckle because he really didn’t know what else to do. He was waiting for this to turn out to be an extremely vivid dream, Pam sitting on his couch, saying things that sounded and awfully lot like “kiss me”. He met Pam’s eyes, seeing Pam’s expression was serious and unwavering.

“Pam, do you . . . do you want me to kiss you?”

Pam seemed to mull it over for several minutes before nodding. “Yes,” she said, barely audible.

Jim was even more sure his brain was slowly breaking, that he was playing out some fantasy in his head. But Pam is looking at him waiting, so he knocked back the vodka soda and lifted himself on his fists, scooting over until his thigh is just touching Pam’s. Pam watched Jim intently as Jim lifts a hand to push a golden curl behind her ear, and her breath quickened as Jim leaned in towards her.

The first couple kisses were soft and short, Jim kept his eyes half open and watched Pam’s wide green eyes slowly shut, her small hand lifting to stroke Jim’s jaw. Jim then gently parted Pam’s lips with his tongue, feeling Pam’s tense jaw relax and letting out a small sound when their tongues touch briefly. To Jim’s surprise, Pam was the one becoming slightly aggressive in her kisses, sucking Jim’s bottom between hers and biting just a small bit.

Jim lips departed hers and started traveling up her jaw, his right hand trailing down Pam’s neck, over her clavicle then over to the side of her breast.

Pam pulled back and Jim dropped his hand, knowing he pushed things too far. “Sorry, I didn't mean–”

“It's okay, it was– it was nice,” Pam’s cheeks were crimson and Jim couldn't help but feel proud for making them that way. “I'm just thinking, this couch isn't very comfortable.”

Jim was stunned as Pam stood and started walking to the stairs, giving him a shy glance as she turned the corner and ascended the steps. His own legs betrayed him as he stood, and he was tempted to go pound another shot of vodka, but he made his way to his room, finding Pam looking at his cluttered desk.

“I thought you were a little nervous when you found me in here at your barbecue,” Pam said quietly.

Jim leaned against the door frame, “I was. My mind was kinda overloading.”

“I think I was a little nervous too,” Pam said, “I mean, why should I be nervous just sitting in my friends room, unless...” She trailed off. “Will you show me?”

“Show you what?”

“What you were thinking about?”

“You know what I was thinking about, what I'm thinking about,” he said in a low tone.

“I do, and I want you to show me.”

Jim watched Pam nervously lace her fingers together, neither of them very sure where the shy receptionist was getting this from. Jim walked over and stood just before Pam before cupping her face and kissing her. Pam closed her eyes immediately this time, her neck a little less tense. Jim's hands traveled down to her waist and then the swell of her hip, while Pam's hand somehow slipped under Jim's sweater.

“What else were you thinking about?” Pam asked in a breathless tone.

“When you were on my bed?” Jim said between kisses. Pam hummed a “mmm-hmmm” against his lips that sent a shiver down his torso and straight to his cock. “I was thinking about you in a lot less clothing.”

She pulled away and there was a funny little smile on her face and he was worried he was too cheesy just then. But she turned around and swept her hair over her shoulder, and when the little metal tab at the top of her dress glinted in the light he got the hint. He pinched the small silver zipper and pulled down, slipping his left hand inside and to run his fingers down the smooth skin to the small of her back. He pushed the shiny fabric apart, and it slipped over her shoulders and fell with a rustle to the floor. He bent down to kiss the spot where her neck curved into her shoulder, his hand caressing her waist. She leaned back into him, and he hardly noticed her slipping off her ring and setting it on his desk.

She turned around slowly and locked eyes with him as her hands found the hem of his sweater and started to push up. He reached back to tug on the collar and pull the shirt over his head. She then leaned forward and distracted him with soft kisses on his sternum as her hands started fumbling with his belt buckle. He was already rock hard underneath and her hands inadvertently grazing him through the fabric caused a groan in his throat. Finally the belt came loose, and he kissed her, walking her back to the bed while pushing his slacks down over his hips. She sat down, her eyes falling into the prominent bulge of his shorts, and she looked to him with wide eyes and bit her lip.

Despite all the naughty thoughts that expression on her face put in his head, he was more desperate to get his hands and lips on her beautiful creamy skin, so he leaned down to kiss her, moving forward until she was laying back on the bed with him half on top of her. His hand ran down over her ribs to her waist and hip and back up. He reached the pink lacy cup of her bra, rubbing his thumb over the peak of it until he could feel her nipple become firm under the fabric. His lips still on hers, his hand traveled around back to the clasp of her bra. He fumbled with the hooks for a second and laughed when she softly giggled. “You better do that,” he said, “It’s so pretty I don’t wanna break it.”

She smiled and reached back to unhook her bra, quickly covering herself with one arm while discarding the garment with the other. She lay back again, her arms crossed over her. He rested his hand over hers and kissed her as he gently pulled one arm down, and she let the other fall away. Now he was finally able to touch the silky soft skin of her breasts. He pulled his lips away from hers and smiled before leaning back down, bringing his mouth to Pam's right breast, tracing the tip of it with his tongue then putting his mouth over her nipple. He gently lifted his head as he sucked the pink bud, smiling at Pam's gasp and then repeating the routine with the left.

“So beautiful,” Jim said, stopping himself there before he started waxing poetic about her breasts, which were softer, fuller and just more perfect than he ever imagined. He moved up to kiss Pam more, his hand now traveling over Pam's stomach to the waistline of her panties. Over the fabric, he moved his fingers down between her legs, feeling a damp spot. “You’re really wet.”

“I've never been this wet,” Pam said quietly.

He smirked, then began kissing down her neck, between her amazing tits and over her smooth flat stomach. When his fingers slipped under the sides of her panties, she sat up a little, a slightly concerned look crossing her face. He smiled a little, “I wanna taste you.” She bit her lip and trembled as he pulled the lacy fabric down over her hips.

After removing her panties, Jim looked down at Pam's glistening slit and licked his lips. He kissed his way down her thigh, and took a moment to breath in the scent, a little sweet and musky, before placing a kiss at the top. He then moved down, dipping his tongue into Pam's folds just slightly and slowly moving up. “Tell me what you want.” he said, he lips hovering over the part he was sure she wanted them on the most.

Pam trembled under him, “I want…” she breathed heavy while his finger traced her slit, “I want you to lick me.”

“Where, here?” He smirked then licked her thigh, causing her to squirm a little. “You need to be more specific, Beesly.”

She took another shaky breath, “I want… I want you to lick my clit.”

Now that she had made her request, the tip of his tongue reached out, just touching the swollen bud enough to cause a deep moan in her throat and make her thread her fingers in his hair. “You taste so good,” he growled before his lips circle her clit and sucked, making her hips lift involuntarily. He slipped two fingers into her easily and crooked them to stroke her front wall. She let out a gasping moan with every stroke and lick and her fingers left his head. He gazed up to see the hand just in his hair now on her breast, her narrow fingers teasing and softly tugging her perfect pink nipple, her moans growing louder and louder.

“Oh God, Jim, I’m gonna ….” Her moans turned into cries and he could feel her start to tighten around his fingers.

He sucked her clit hard, swiping his tongue across and then felt her begin to pulsate against his lips. Stroking his fingers inside her slowly, he lifted his face to watch her, her tits heaving with every breath, her cheeks now as pink as her nipples. Once her breaths slowed, he pulled his fingers out of her and crawled back up the bed until he was next to her.

She smiled and reached up to stroke his jawline, “That was … wow.”

Jim chuckled and watched and her eyes get dark and she tilted his chin to her. As they kissed he felt her hand travel down his chest and stomach then tug on the waistband of his shorts. She managed to push them down over his ass but no further. “Off,” she hummed against his lips. After also unsuccessful being able to push the shorts down much further with one hand, Jim groaned in frustration as he pulled his lips from hers and sat up, and finally the underwear fell to the floor.

He lay back down, shaking his head and scoffing, but her smile and the way her lips eagerly returned to his made him forget the minor interruption. Soon he was on top of her, his cock pressing into her belly, and he reached over and opened his night stand drawer, pulling out a small square wrapper.

“You keep them right by the bed, huh?” Pam said quietly.

Jim stopped and looked to Pam, shyly smiling and the haze is lifted for a second. “Where else should I keep them?” he half joked.

“Did you fuck Katy in this bed?” Somehow she still sounded sweet even with the blunt language.

Jim felt his expression fall and he shook his head slightly, “I don't wanna talk about about her.”

“But you did, right?” Jim remained silent and Pam smirked, “What did you like about fucking her?”

“You really wanna know?” He said sharply and Pam seemed surprised by the edge to Jim’s voice. She nodded slightly and Jim looked somewhere passed her shoulder. “She wasn’t you but when I fucked her… I could pretend she was.”

He avoided looking at her, afraid his admission made him sound like a creepy asshole and that he had completely killed the mood, when Pam raised her hands to his cheek and turned his face slowly back to her. “Sorry,” she mouthed before she sat up to kiss him. Soon the awkward exchange seemed forgotten and she kissed him fiercely, her tongue in his mouth, her leg hitched up and over the back of his thigh to pull him closer.

Reluctantly pulling away, he sat back on his heels and went to tear the condom wrapper open, when Pam sat up and reached out to still his hand. “I'm okay,” she said, “I want to feel you.” Her small hand circled his length, her thumb making small circles on the head of his cock and they were both lucky he didn't come then and there. With a groan he tossed the little square foil on the floor and returned to kissing her, laying her back on the pillow. With one arm he pushed himself up, the other reached down between them. Pam watched as he dragged his cock along her slick folds then guided himself into her, her mewls turning into moans as he slid slowly into her tight, wet heat.

“Fuck, you feel so good,” he groaned before he can stop himself.

“Jim,” she says softly. He meets her shiny eyes and the heady feeling lifts for a moment, and she's Pam again, shy and vulnerable. He remembered himself, remembers he's only the second person she's ever done this with and he doesn't need to be spoiling it by talking like a horny frat boy.

So he cupped her cheek and kissed her, soft and slow, and started to move his hips in the same fashion. He watched her face, her shaky exhaling while he pulled out slowly then her gasp when he pushed back in. Once he increased the pace, he felt Pam snaking her hand between them, and he pushed himself up a bit so she'd have room. Her fingers worked herself furiously and he could feel her walls start to tighten around him.

She whimpered and Jim put his lips near her ear, “Are you close?”

“Mmm-hmm,” she said, her eyes screwed shut.

“Say it,” he commanded.

She opened her eyes and looked at him, “I’m . . . I’m close.”

“Come around me, Pam,” he said, slowing his thrusts.

Her beautiful green eyes were locked with his own, the hand between them still moving fast, and her jaw becoming more and more slacked. “Oh Jim…” her breath hitched and she let out a cry, tilting her head back, and he kissed and nipped at her neck as she trembled underneath him. After a moment he resumed his trusting, and it was not long until he spilled into her, moaning while his hips made a few last slow pumps.

He collapsed half on top of her, breath ragged. Rolling off to her side he kept his arm around her, smiling when she reached up to brush the damp hair off his forehead. Her cheeks were flushed and her hair was absolutely mess, and funny enough that was what made it all finally feel real. Much as he wanted to stare at her like this all night, his eyelids suddenly became very heavy. “Will you stay?” he murmured. She smiled softly, her fingers now brushing his cheek, and sleep overtook him before she answered.

* * * * *

When he woke he was on his side, facing his desk. His eyes drifted to the floor and he felt his brows meet when he didn’t see any glimpse of any shiny or lacy clothing. He looked back up to his cluttered desk to search for the ring she slipped off, swallowing hard when he realized it wasn’t there. Before he could feel upset or disappointed, there’s a stirring behind him, and his heart started beating fast as he rolled over and was ready to burst when he saw Pam was still there. At some point she had tied her hair back into a messy bun and put on one of his tee-shirts. She opened her eyes and he grinned widely.

“I borrowed this, hope you don’t mind,” she tugged on the gray colored shirt.

“Don’t mind at all, looks way better on you,” he murmured, leaning over for a kiss. “So, um, I can make some breakfast or…” he looked down at University of Scranton logo on the tee shirt and started thinking about the gorgeous breasts just beneath the fabric.

“I actually should go get a few things,” Pam said. “From home.” she added reluctantly.

There was a small lump in his throat but when he thought about it, the sentence after “go get a few things from home” had to be “and then come back here”. After all, she had stayed. So he smiled and gave her another kiss before getting up to get ready.

The car ride is quiet, but Jim had a smile on his face the whole time, frequently reaching over to take Pam’s hand. He pulled up just short of the driveway and turned in his seat. “So do you want me to wait?” Pam looked straight ahead and didn’t respond and Jim felt a pit in his stomach. “Or I can come back in a little while.”

“Jim.” She could barely say it, and when she looked at him with tear-filled eyes his heart dropped.

He clenched his jaw and took a moment to say, “You’re not leaving him, are you?” She opened her mouth but nothing came out and she looked down to her hands. Jim rubbed his chin, “Are you still gonna marry him?”

“I ... I need some time to think,” she finally said, still looking at her hands.

Jim scoffed, the heat in his chest rising. “Think about what? You either are or you aren’t.”

She shook her head, “It’s not that easy.”

“And here I foolishly thought you already made the choice when you decided to fuck me.”

“Jim, please–”

“But I guess you just wanted a thrill before your wedding.”

She snapped her face to him, “That’s not fair, you know that isn’t what this is.”

“If you’re not leaving him, then that’s exactly what is it.”

Her jaw clenched, “You are asking me to change everything, I can’t have five minutes to think?”

“Do you love me?” he said softly.

She breathed unsteadily, completely thrown off by his question, “I…”

He shrugged slightly, “It’s a simple yes or no.”

Her shoulders dropped and she looked to her hands again, and Jim pretended to not see the tears rolling down her cheek before he averted his gaze to the dashboard.

“I don’t think you need any time at all,” he said. She said his name but he ignored her, “You should probably go.”

He kept staring ahead as she gathered her things from the footwell. The door opened and she stepped out and said his name once again. “Bye, Pam,” he said as emotionless as possible. The door closed and he drove off. Don’t look back, he ordered himself, but his eyes drifted up to the rear view mirror and she was still standing there, watching him leave and wiping her eyes. He clenched his jaw again, this time to stop it from shaking, and once he was out of her view he pulled over. Cursing, he pounded his steering wheel and then the hot tears steamed down his face. He shifted back into drive and put his hand on the wheel, this close to turning back, to bursting into her house and yell at her, cry with her, kiss her, make love to her until she decided yes, yes she would be with him.

I have no future here, he remembered telling the cameras yesterday. It was true then and despite everything it was still true now. He wiped the tears away and took a few deep breaths before he pressed his foot to the gas, driving forward.

Chapter End Notes:

Don't know where the smut or the angst came from here but there it be! Thanks for reading, reviews are loved and part 2 will be here soon!

Bonus: Pam in the middle of this chapter XD 


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