“I wake up every morning in a bed that’s too small, drive my daughter to a school that’s too expensive, and then I go to work to a job for which I get paid too little.  But on Pretzel Day?  Well, I like Pretzel Day.” — Stanley Hudson

After the promos aired, a reviewer named Josh McAuliffe of the Scranton Times-Tribune binged through Seasons 1-8 of the documentary within two weeks (which is quite impressive, but more passionate viewers will eventually have him beat) and shared his thoughts online.

“‘The Office: An American Workplace airing on PBS next month is a documentary following the employees of Scranton’s own Dunder Mifflin Paper Company!’” Oscar reads, leading to the office motivated about something at the same time for once.

“‘In this series, which will air starting in May,’” Nellie continues the article, “‘we get an in-depth look at many interesting local people.

— There’s Kevin Malone’!” she says, pointing at an elated Kevin, “‘the Falstaffian accountant;

— Dwight Schrute’!” she points at Dwight swivels his chair to her in response, “‘the head salesman forever chasing a manager position he will never get;’”  Naturally, Dwight is offended by this.  

— “‘Jim Halpert and Pam Beesly’!” she points to the couple at the adjacent desk clump, “‘the office place Romeo and Juliet;’” Jim gives Pam a wink as she blushes, just like the old days, 

— “‘and Andy Bernard, the rudderless trust fund child’” she pauses as she reads on, “‘slash middle manager, whose… incompetence is emblematic of a declining American economy.’”

Annnd Andy is crushed.  While Phyllis and Pam offer their sympathies, Andy attempts to just let it be.  It’s harder than it sounds.  But there’s more!

Nellie reads on, “‘A possible explanation for his lack of career focus is his surprising musical talent!’”  He asks for a printed copy.  He needs a pick-me-up.

“Now that this documentary is coming out, my days at Dunder Mifflin are limited,” Andy confesses to Brent, “And you know what?  Good.  Because this is not what I want to do with my life.  I’m heading to Cornell and I’m starting fresh,” he smiles then pauses, “But if that falls through, then I can always become my generation’s Lisa Loeb.”

Shortly after the review is read, the cameras catch Andy walking up to Nellie’s empty desk and putting in a handful of Caramello chocolate bars, haphazardly putting on a bow with a tag that says “From ANDY”.

“So, I took Nellie’s advice and started my own special project:” he informs Brent, “Operation Giveback, N-N-N-Nard Miiix!”  He gets out his phone and uses his air horn app.  “I’ve decided it’d be fun to give some personalized gifts for everyone in the office before I leave for my interview in a couple of weeks.”

The editors put in footage of him giving Darryl a basketball, Meredith a bottle of Corona inside a paper bag, Pete a broken Nibbles cupcake (he tried to put sprinkles inside instead of drugs), and Toby a mystery novel, all of the recipients with smiles on their faces; each present had that same bow and tag.

“Creed was the hardest nut to crack,” Andy tells Brent, “So I took a shot in the dark.”

“Here you go Creed,” he says handing Creed a potato (with the bow and tag), “My gift to you.”

“Wow,” Creed says genuinely, “This… is the most thoughtful gift anyone’s ever given me.  Thanks, Hoss.”

Andy walks away, pumping his fist into the air as Creed immediately takes a bite of the raw potato.

Later on, Dwight storms into Andy’s office.  “I need to talk to you.”

“Yeah, come on in,” Andy responds.

“Stanley is refusing to go out on a sales call.”

“I hate people!” Andy groans in genuine solidarity, “Why do they never do what you need them to do?  Stanley has to go, that’s final.”

“So what I’m hearing you say is, ‘Make Stanley go out on the sales call by whatever means possible’?”

“Would you like to make that happen?”

“Very much.”

“If I gave you permission to do this, would that be a personalized gift that you will appreciate always?”

“Indeed it will.”

“Done.  Good luck.”

Dwight nods and walks off, leaving Andy, smiling at the camera, crossing another name off the list.

After Lipton’s press conference, Andy summons Pam into his office, with a gift bag.

“Pam, I know me not being here has caused you and your Tuna a lot of grief.”

Pam furrows her eyebrows, “Yeah, kinda.”

“Regardless I found a gift to make amends.”  He pulls out a small watercolor easel painting set.

“Aw, Andy!” Pam says, genuinely smiling, “That’s so sweet!”

“I’m so happy you like it!” Andy says, offering a genuine smile of his own.

“Cece’s gonna love this.”

Andy awkwardly glances at the camera and back at her, “…Yes,” Andy responds, “Yes, she will.”

Pam walks back to her desk and shows it to her husband.  “Look what Andy got for Cece.”

“Adorable,” Jim asks with a small smile.

“Right?”

He thinks, “Y’know, something tells me he had no idea that set was for children.”

She rolls her eyes, “Come on Jim, give him some credit.”

“You’re probably right,” he concedes, giving a quick look at the camera and continues working.

“I had no idea that set was for children,” Andy reveals to Brent.

Near the end of the day, as Jim slings it over his shoulder, Andy signals him into his office.

“Yes, Andy?” Jim asks, standing near the doorway.

“I’ve just realized you are the only person I haven’t given a gift to.”

“That’s okay,” he says genuinely.

“No, it’s not, which is why I wanted to extra surprise you by putting it on the back windshield wiper of your SUV.”

“...Alright,” Jim says with a perplexed look, “may I ask what it is?”

“I’ve made a custom tuna fish sandwich for you.  Old Bernard recipe.”

Jim nods his head, because of course, Andy did, “Cool, thanks, Andy.”

“I recommend you eat that as soon as you can.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll save it for later.”  He’s not planning on it.  “Night, Andy,” he greets as he walks off.

“If you don’t eat it immediately it’ll smell like rotting ass!” Andy shouts through his office window.

“Night, Andy!”

But the tuna fish sandwich isn’t the real gift.

Jim walks to the parking lot to see Pam holding the bagged sandwich and a paper (a little crinkled), shellshocked, with a hand over her mouth.  She just hands the paper to him and, when he realizes what it is, his eyes widen.  He looks at Pam after reading it — tears threatening to fall from her eyes — and they embrace tightly, laughing in each other’s arms.

As all of this is silently being filmed, Andy reads aloud the letter of recommendation to Brent.

“‘I’ve never thought there was such a thing as star quality outside of the entertainment industry, and then I met James Halpert.  As a salesman and marketer, he’s charismatic and persuasive.  As a worker, he’s diligent and determined.  As an idea man, his boundless creativity is often squandered.  As a man, a father, a husband, and a friend, he’s a cut above the rest.  I would say these qualities are indicative of a star.  A star that deserves to shine.’”

The camera cuts back to him as he shows off his list to Brent, “Operation Giveback: Nard Mix…” he crosses off Jim’s name, “complete.”  He gets his phone back out and uses his air horn app again.

As for Erin, well, she was the first recipient.  “He’s a good guy.  You should go for it.”

—————————————————————————————————————————————

Stanley Hudson is the epitome of apathy.

He’s not like Jim, Pam, or Clark, who aspire for more.  He’s not like Dwight, Nellie, or Andy, boisterous and annoying.  He’s not like Toby or Meredith who would rather be anywhere else.  He’s not like Pete, Darryl, or Oscar, who just want to do their job and do it well for the paycheck.  He’s not like Erin or Kevin, who don’t have a clue in their head.  And he’s not like Creed, but then again, no one is like Creed.  Not even Creed.  Lastly, he’s definitely not like Phyllis, but he’s happy he’s shared a desk clump with her for so long.  They’ve grown to have a nice repertoire, and while he would never acknowledge that they’re friends, Phyllis knows.  They talk to each other like they’re the only ones they can tolerate being around… because they are.

But, at the end of the day, he puts in eight hours of work every day, five days a week.  He’s not the best salesman, but he doesn’t need to be.  He’s just coasting by.  Hell, the only reason he helped pick up Jim’s slack is that he wants out of there just as bad as him.  These are the four pillars of his life: crossword puzzles, pretzels, women, and his daughter.  Everything else is just something to put up with.

There is one thing he is not willing to put up with, not now or ever again.

“What the hell?  No.  This is not happening.”

He stands before the Scranton Business Park elevator with a blunt sign that reads ‘ELEVATOR OUT OF SERVICE ._. This Is An Inconvenience’.

Yes, Dwight has been preparing the office (mentally and physically) to take the stairs for the “Mageddon” that the office hoped will never come to pass, until it did.  Stairmageddon is upon us.  An energetic and motivated Erin cheers Stanley on, meaning he has to “expand cardiovascular effort” as Oscar puts it.  It is truly the end of time.

And he’s still climbing it, thanks to that Five-Hour Energy.

Once he enters the office, he looks straight at the man who has caused this abomination to happen.  “You… own the building,” he angrily stares down Dwight, “Why can’t you fix the elevator in the middle of the night?  Who do I look like?  Jackie Joyner-Kersee?”

“Well, I did say it would be an inconvenience,” Dwight responds, pointing at the sign from before, “You should have called me from downstairs.  We could’ve met in the lobby.  It’s time to go out on a sale! Here we go.”

“Son, you’ve lost your mind,” Stanley begins with conviction, “I’m not going anywhere until you fix my elevator.”

“The buyer is your sister’s friend,” Dwight presses, “This is the printing paper for the entire school district of Lackawanna.  You are coming… and that’s an order!”

Stanley’s not putting up with him today, or any other day.  “You are not my damn boss and you never will be!”  Ha.  “Guess what?  Never gonna happen!  Pete!” he calls to the reception desk, “Iced tea.  Three sugars, five creams.”

“Your morning 3-by-5,” Pete sighs, “coming right up.”  Considering what Pete’s about to do, it’s a much-needed distraction.

Dwight is determined to get Stanley out there, so he gets Andy’s permission to do it by any means necessary.  Unfortunately, as much as he wants to take charge of the situation (like always) the review left him… remorseful, but also relieved in a sense.

“For five years I’ve held my instincts in check because I wanted to be made manager,” he confesses to Brent, “Maybe it’s time for me to just let that thought go.  It’s kind of painful, but it’s also freeing in a way.  Now it’s all about my instincts.”

And said instincts immediately led to one thing: tranquilizer darts.

Dwight enters the break-room, where Clark is getting a snack and Stanley is doing — what else? — another crossword.

“Stanley,” Dwight presses, “one way or another, you are gonna come with me to make this sale.”

How else would Stanley respond but “Pass.”

Clark notices the dart gun and is, wisely, afraid, “C-c-can you just let me out of here before whatever comes next?”

“Don’t worry,” Dwight reassures, “it’s just a bull tranquilizer.  Nothing to be alarmed about.  It’s just a man pointing a bull tranquilizer at a coworker.”  Or as others in the office call it, Thursday.

“Dwight, you do not learn, do you?” Stanley says, “For a threat to be credible, you ha—” *WHOOP*

Dwight fires a dart right at his abdomen.

Clark can’t bring himself to say anything other than “Holy s***.”

A fire lights in Stanley as he chases Dwight down, “No, you didn’t.  Sick of you and your—” *WHOOP* *WHOOP*  And down he goes.

Clark is still stunned in fear, but Dwight reassures him once again, “It’s alright.  Andy approved it.”

Meredith stops by during her break, drinking coffee, “Man, he’s really in twinkle town now.”

“Is he gonna be okay?” Clark asks, “I mean, weren’t those darts intended for an animal like… two to three times larger than him?”

“Okay, this dosage was meant for a very small bull,” Dwight clarifies, “and Stanley’s got way more body fat than they do.”  While he’s explaining this, Meredith pours some of that tranquilizer into her coffee.  Gotta get that buzz somehow.

“You gave him three shots.”

Dwight shushes him, “Got about 45 minutes to get him to the client before he comes to.”  They tried lifting him, but 5 minutes later they’re no closer than when they started.  He’s like a manatee!  No wonder the elevator cables are under such strain.  They then grab a rolling desk chair and discuss weekend plans while using it with a comatose Stanley.

“Okay, listen,” Dwight admits, “I’m kind of embarrassed to admit this, but I’ve never actually done this before.”

What?  “Well, if I may, you’re a natural.”

“Thank you,” Dwight says earnestly, “I mean, I’ve rehearsed it in my head like 1,000 times, but, uh…”  What are you, Dwight?

They then attempt to “Evel Kinevil” down a flight of stairs with cardboard, bubble wrap, duct tape, and a helmet.  Dwight tells Clark to catch Stanley, but he knows how that’ll end, and that is proven with the sizable dent in the wall.  They eventually manage to roll Stanley to the car.

“Okay,” Dwight announces, “We’re running late.  Let’s get him inside.”

“We can’t just leave him bubble wrapped like this,” Clark points out.

“Are you kidding me?” Dwight asks, “The bubble wrap is the only thing that’s stopping his suit from getting wrinkled.  These meetings are all about presentation.”

Clark contemplates his words, “That’s actually really smart.”

“Thank you.”

“God, if only there was any other use or situation for that kind of knowledge,” Clark thinks out loud.  There still may be a part of him that kinda-sorta likes Dwight maybe.

After managing to shove Stanley in Dwight’s Pontiac, he and Clark are off, Hank looking on and drinking his coffee.

They finally get there, and Stanley is now conscious… kind of.  “Okay, Stanley?” Dwight asks him, “Do you understand what we’re about to do?”

“Hellooo!” Stanley responds to no one with a wave.

“Okay.  We, hey— hey, listen!  LISTEN!  We are going to go discuss PAPER CONTRACTS… for CITY OF LACKAWANNA PUBLIC SCHOOLS, OKAY?”

Stanley spots pigeons.

With Stanley out of commission, Dwight has the right idea to make Clark Stanley Hudson… until Clark reminds him that the client knows Stanley’s sister.  So, Dwight decides to get a cup of coffee in Stanley, and all three walk to the school, ready to make this stale with the primary salesman comatose.

They discuss the sale with the client herself, Mrs. Davis, who can tell something’s up.  “Stanley, what is going on here?”

“He’s fine,” Dwight reassures, “He gets carsick really easily.”  As he and Clark try to justify the car sickness and shift the discussion back to paper, Stanley finds an adorable picture of a baby.

“That’s Benji in the middle,” Mrs. Davis brightens and shares about her grandchildren.

“That’s Benjiii,” Stanley responds, “Oh, he’s precious.  That’s a heealthy-looking baby.”

“Very special little boy.”

Dwight, ever the salesman, plays along, “Look at him.  I’ve never seen such a beautiful child.”

“Funny sense of humor,” she continues happily, “If you push on his nose, he’ll go ‘eee!’” 

“Like this?  Watch.”  He replicates it with a giggly Stanley, and everybody laughs along.

They got the client!  The three salesmen high five… well, Stanley shoves Clark in an attempt to high five.

“Yeah, maybe I’ll never be manager,” Dwight reflects the camera, “but I just managed to get our most stubborn salesman to close a sale with one of our biggest clients, and I must say, it’s the most pleasant I’ve ever seen Stanley.  I think we should consider injecting him with bull tranquilizer on a daily basis.”  Not wise.

A fully-conscious Stanley walks back to the office with Dwight and Clark.  “So I just smiled and complimented her grandkids, and we closed it?”

“You earned yourself a nice, fat commission and you didn’t even know it,” Dwight answers.  Stanley’s impressed.  “I’ll go tell Andy the good news.”  He pushes the elevator button but realizes that it’s still in maintenance.  Gotta take the stairs.

Stanley has other ideas, “Oh, no, I’m not doing that again.  You got me down, you gotta get me back up.”  He immediately grabs one of Dwight’s darts and stabs himself in the thigh, falling to the ground once again.

Dwight knows what to do next.  “We need a winch and a hoist.”

Clark looks at the camera in annoyance.  Maybe he’s the real New Jim.

—————————————————————————————————————————————

Pam takes over from where Nellie left off with the review, “‘Though it mostly focuses on the daily realities of office life, a lurid subplot reveals the hypocrisy of a local public figure embroiled in a gay affair while preaching family values.’”  Pam raises an eyebrow, guessing who it could be.

“Oh!” Nellie’s intrigued, “which public figure?”

“I bet it’s Katie Couric,” Erin adds, “I’ve been saying this for years.”

“No, I think they mean more like a politician,” Phyllis unsubtly hints, looking straight at Angela and Oscar.  Both wish they could just vanish.

Later, a stressed Angela walks out of the parking lot meeting with her gay husband, Senator Robert Lipton.

“Oh honey,” she greets him as the door opens… and then it shuts, “Look.  I just want our life to get back to normal.  Ribbon cuttings.  Charity balls.”

“Don’t worry,” Lipton assures, “I’ve scheduled a press conference for later today.  We just need to face the cameras together.  A beloved public servant and his devoted wife… and move on.”

“All right,” Angela accepts, “if I have to be the good wife, I’ll be the best damn wife there is.  Correction: best darn wife.  Sorry, I’m a better wife than that.”  She sighs, knowing that she’s not.

“I am very worried for Robert,” Oscar later confesses to Brent, “They have us kissing on tape.  That’s the end of his political career.”  What a dying shame.  “At least he won’t have to pretend to love Angela anymore.  Of all the beards a man can have… that has got to be one of the itchiest.”  The press conference will quickly change his tune.

Later on, Phyllis gets an alert.  “Hey, the press conference is about to start!”  She shifts her monitor to the left so the others can watch.  Oscar is — of course — pensive.

“Hey, that’s Angela!” Kevin shouts happily, “I work with her!”

After Phyllis complements her hair, the rest of the office anxiously awaits her appearance.

Lipton begins, his arm wrapped around Angela, [“I would just to start by saying that there have been some rumors about my personal life that I would like to settle once and for all.  As my long-suffering wife can attest… I am gay.”]

And the media captures on film Angela’s realization that this is the beginning of the end.  You… you promised.

Oscar tries to clap in celebration, revealing that his relationship is saved… and they just look at him.  

The conference only gets worse with the reporters: [“Senator, were you always gay or did your wife turn you gay?”  “Question for the Senator’s beard.”]  Angela never believed in a “Hell on Earth” until this very moment.

Lipton keeps reiterating it, because Angela isn’t humiliated enough as it is.  [“I’ll say it again for mis amigos Latinos,”] he continues, her arms crossing in frustration knowing full well who he’s addressing, [“Yo soy homosexual.”]

“Damn,” Darryl says sympathetically, “Poor Angela.”

“Yeah, poor Angela,” Phyllis agrees, getting a kick out of this.

[“I once believed that a gay person could be somewhat straight,”] Lipton prattles on, Oscar looking in suspicion, [“It wasn’t until my marriage to Angela that I realized how… charmless I find the female body.”]  What did I ever see in you?

“Oof,” Meredith sympathizes, “Always hurts to hear that one.”  She’s heard it plenty of times.

[“There’s someone else I need to thank,”] Lipton waffles on, [“His name is Oscar Martinez.”]  This earns small gasps from the office.  [“Oscar is the one who opened my eyes to who I really am.”]  Oscar can’t help but smile.  [“For the first time…”]

He continues to talk as Andy asks, “Wait, Oscar is with the Senator too?”

“Yes!” Kevin cheers, “And I knew it the whole time!” he faces them all, “I kept the secret.  I kept the secret so good.  You didn’t know,” he points at Andy, “you didn’t know,” then at Jim, “and you didn’t freaking know!” and lastly at Merideth, “But I knew!”  He high fives Oscar in celebration and sinks into Dwight’s chair in relief.

“Kevin’s wrong, I knew it, too!” Pam says with confidence, talking to Brent.

“No, you did not,” Jim refutes next to her.

“I knew some of it.”

“How could you have possibly known some of it?”

She looks at him, “Jim, just let me have this.”

He sighs and rolls his eyes, “She knew some of it.”

“Thank you.”

[“...with this new self-awareness,”] Lipton continues, [“I was finally able to find love at long last.”]  Angela can’t friggin’ believe this.  [“With my amazing…”]  Oscar can hardly wait, love is real after all!  He’s finally found the love of his life and he’ll show the world just how

[“Chief of Staff Wesley Silver.”]  Oh… hell, no.

“What?!” Oscar asks in exasperation.

“Wesley Silver’s gay?” Creed asks the real question.

And up Silver walks onstage and full-on kisses Lipton, Angela gasping in disgust.

Oscar feels just as betrayed as Angela.  What kind of an idiot was he to fall for Lipton?  He was nothing but a tool to him.  A token.  Using his attractiveness to lure Oscar in.  Using Oscar’s ethnicity to gain voters.  The accountant looks back: all the times they’ve shared, the meals they’ve enjoyed, the love they made… it all meant nothing.  All the while Oscar was badmouthing Angela behind her back because it wasn’t true love, and the gall of her to think that it was!  Only to find out that Lipton’s love for her was just as legitimate as Lipton’s love for him.  It all meant nothing.  Absolutely nothing.  Nada.

Silver gives a thumbs up, which Angela tries to replicate… but then gags.

[“Senator Lipton,”] a reporter asks, [“What effect will this have on your family arrangement?  Would you and Mrs. Lipton continue living together?”]

[“Of course,”] Angela steps in, attempting to salvage this clown show, [“As you know, Robert and I have a young child—”]

Lipton interrupts, [“I’ll be moving in with Wesley.”]

[“What?”] she asks.

[“They… need to know who we are as a couple.”]

You… son of a BITCH.  [“Robert, we never discussed this!”]

[“Will you take this opportunity to promote change in the Republican Party with respect to their stance on gay marriage?”] another reporter asks Lipton.

[“No, I’ll just be switching to the Democratic Party,”] he responds.  Oscar just scoffs at him.  What did I ever see in you?

Angela walks off, shoving the podium of mics onto the ground.  They fall like her own Tower of Babel.  The facade is broken now, as Lipton used two close friends against each other; they now have to pay the hefty price.

And yet, Angela and Oscar could have prevented all of this from happening.  She wanted to live a comfortable lie and present to the world the ideal woman she was always meant to be; he wanted to find someone so desperately that he was willing to break up a sham marriage.  They knew what they were doing was wrong, for them and in general.  But they didn’t care.

What the hell are they going to do now?

—————————————————————————————————————————————

“Pam!” Nellie says excitedly walking to her desk, “I got fantastic news!  I’m eligible to adopt!”

“Oh my God,” Pam says elated, “Congrats!”  Nellie leans down to hug Pam from her chair as she did before their first drive.

“Happy for ya, Nellie,” Jim congratulates brightly, breaking out his fist for a fist bump.

“Why thank you,” she reciprocates by high-fiving his fist.  He gives a knowing look to the camera before going back to work.

Erin walks up to her from her desk, genuinely smiling, “I knew it would happen!”

“And I have you to thank for it,” Nellie says, giving her a big hug, but notices Erin’s smile quickly fading as she leans out.  “Something wrong?”

Erin is silent.

“Peter Miller?” Nellie asks Erin as they sit at one of the business park benches.  Erin nods in response.  “I have to be honest, did not see that coming.”

“I shouldn’t be this nervous, right?” Erin posits, “I mean, everyone I talked to I should go for it.  Kelly, Michael, Irene.”

“Who’s Irene?”

“But… something’s holding me back.”

Meanwhile, in the annex, Pete turns over to Toby after seeing Kevin walk out of the break-room, confident they’re alone, “Hey, Toby.  Um, I wanted to ask you a question.”

“Oh, sure,” a quietly chipper Toby responds.

“It’s a little, uh, personal.”

“Let’s do it.  Let’s get personal.”

“I wanted to talk to you about your divorce.”

Toby’s eyes widen, “Whoa.”  He lightly slams a folder on his desk.

“Sorry, I— no, no, no, what I meant— what I meant actually was—”

“Oh, yeah, no, it’s okay.  I can handle it.  Um, so…”

“You were able to move on from your old relationship, right?”

“Well sure,” Toby shrugs, “in a way.”

“Okay,” Pete tries to figure out the best way to go about this, “I was wondering if you ever fell in love with someone but you’re not quite sure how to handle it because of your ex.”

“Oh, sure, that’s happened, yeah,” Toby pauses, “Wait, is this about Erin?” he gives a slight smile at the revelation, “Oh, wow.”

“No, no, no, no, no.  This is about a close friend of mine in the office.  Uh, which doesn’t sound any better.”

“Erin, huh?” Toby says, “Kelly called it.”  Naturally.  “Well, maybe— hey!  Hey, hey, no!  No!”  Toby’s whole demeanor shifts as soon as Clark enters the annex, “Get outta here.  Clark, get outta here.”

“My mistake,” Clark responds quietly.

“Ye-yes, it is your mistake.”  He sighs as the temp walks off.  “He’s lingering, so annoying,” he whispers, “I’m gonna kill him.”  Pete’s eyes widen in fear.  “How can I help?” Toby asks, “I’m here.”

“That’s all right,” Pete replies as he turns back to his desk, giving his look to the camera.

Eventually, the two are in the break-room discussing things further.  “I just…” Pete sighs, “I don’t want anything to change between us, you know?  Don’t fix what isn’t broken.”

“Well, every relationship is gonna bring about change,” Toby wisely points out, “Uh, even tangentially.”

“I mean, of course, but…”  Pete accepts this as the truth, but finds it difficult.

“It’s not that I’m afraid of rejection anymore,” Erin confesses to Nellie, “I’m just so tired of it.  It can only happen so many times before you just want to avoid taking any type of risk.”

“Alice was a great friend, and then we got together,” Pete reflects to Toby, “I don’t want to test those waters with Erin... But I still want”

“to give this a shot,” Erin continues to Nellie.

“Well, you know what they say,” Nellie advises, “You have to break a few hearts to make an omelet.”

“Yeah…” Erin thinks, “I guess I want to know the right way to do this”

“without my insecurities getting in the way,” Pete tells Toby.

“Well, is there a right way?” Toby asks.

“What do you mean?” Pete responds, puzzled.

“I mean, at some point, she’ll just think you’re uninterested and find someone else.  If you want to be with her, you… have to make it clear at some point, despite what’s holding you back.”

Pete sighs, knowing Toby’s right on the money again.

Eventually, Pete and Erin come to their conclusions.

“You know what?” Erin decides, “I’ll just… tell him the truth after work.  Even if he rejects me, it wouldn’t be the first time, right?” she attempts to shrug it off.  Nellie nods with a small smile.

“It’s best if we just are close friends and avoid a relationship altogether,” Pete says, “It’s… it’s best this way.”  Toby gives a lopsided look.

Near the end of the day, Nellie and Toby confide in the kitchen.

Nellie starts, “…That was exhausting.”

“Bluh, bluh, bluh, blah.  Pete,” Toby says in solidarity as he does a hand to simulate talking.

“Well, they deserve each other, then.”

“They do.  That they do.”

“That is for sure.”

“That they do.”

At around 5:20 PM, Creed departs, leaving Erin and Pete the only ones in the office.  As she gets her stuff, biding her time, she notices him walking towards the front door.

“Hey, Pete?” Erin asks.

“Hm?”

“Can I speak to you in the conference room for a sec?”  She wants to get some form of privacy.

“Sure,” he sighs through it, extremely nervous.

They walk in there, the crew making sure to not capture the audio of their conversation but still filming it through the blinds outside of the conference room.  She confesses that she’s in love with him, he makes her happy, and she’s happy that she’s in love with him.  And if he rejects her that’s fine, but he deserves to know.  Pete is stunned silent, not knowing how to approach any of this, but she practically begs him to please, say something.

[“Erin, listen to me.  You shouldn’t rush into this, at all.  And you know why?”]

[Before Michael departs to Colorado, he gives Erin one final piece of advice.  “Because you are beautiful.  And you are fun.  And you are smart.”  She smiles.]

Pete, without a second thought, gently cups her face and leads her lips to his.

[“And when the right guy comes along, you’ll know it.  You will.”]

He then brings his arms around her waist as hers wrap around his neck.  Both of their eyes are watery when they pull apart, and he says that he’s happy that he’s in love with her.  She laughs through her tears as they kiss once again.  She tells him she’ll meet him downstairs, but she needs to make a quick phone call, and he departs the conference room beaming, leaving the door ajar.  She finds the contact.

“Hey, Michael.”