She was going to tell him. She was. She just didn’t know how he’d take it. Pam always knew she liked girls so she definitely knew she wasn’t straight and she knew she liked men so she wasn’t a lesbian. She finally identified as bisexual her first year working at Dunder Mifflin after much self reflection and discovery. She never told Roy, afraid of what he might say or do if she told him she liked girls too. That’s why she was still so far in the closet. That’s why when Karen transferred to Dunder Mifflin taking gum from Jim, she kept her mouth shut and never dared to look her way… afraid of what she might feel if she stared at her golden skin for too long or the way her hips hugged her slacks just right or the way her laugh made Pam’s heart do flip-flops in her chest. That’s why when she and Jim had their crying session the night of their first official date and swore to be totally honest with each other, she felt guilty because she hadn’t told him… everything. That’s why she was taking deep breaths as she poured the wine Jim brought over for their date indoors as he quickly used the bathroom.

“Woah there, Beesly. You wanna get me tipsy on the first glass?” Jim came up behind her and gripped the bottle in her hand and tilted it slightly up. Pam looked down at the glass and it was filled almost to the top.

“Oh god, I’m sorry. My mind was in another world.” Pam laughed self-consciously. Jim kissed the sensitive spot below her ear and spoke in a low voice.

“Well I wish it would come back because I am starving.” Pam melted into him feeling loved and warm and safe. Dinner could wait if it meant being with Jim like this. Jim hugged her close and went to sit in his chair. Pam felt frozen. She couldn’t move. God she was so nervous. Why was she so nervous? It was Jim. It was supposed to be easy with him, right? 

Jim had his first forkful of pasta almost up to his mouth before he noticed she wasn’t sitting down. He put it down, “Pam? You okay, babe?”

Pam looked at him feeling like she was going to throw up. Tears came to her eyes and she had to get away to somewhere not… here. “Uhm, give me a minute.” Pam said as she almost ran to the bathroom. She could vaguely hear Jim calling her name as she walked down the hallway which felt like the damn yellow brick road to Oz with how long it was to the bathroom. She practically slammed the door and turned her back against it panting. She told herself in. Out. In. Out. Soon there were three small taps at the door.

“Pam, baby, what’s wrong? Are you sick? Did I put too much garlic in the marinara?” Jim asked with a concerned voice and a slight laugh in his voice.

“No no. Everything is perfect. I’m so sorry.” Pam called back with a hoarse voice feeling like she couldn’t breathe.

“Could you open the door? Can we talk about it?” 

Pam took a deep breath and turned the knob slowly and turned towards him but kept her head down so she only saw his sock clad feet and the bottoms of his plaid pajama pants. Suddenly his hand came into view and he tilted her chin up with his knuckle. She looked up into his big, doe eyes who were looking back at her with such concern and sincerity it almost made her want to cry for a completely different reason. His hand moved to her cheek and he rubbed his thumb up and down soothingly.

“Talk to me, Pam. I promise I’m not going to run. Unless you murdered someone then I might grab my work shoes and sprint out of here.” Jim laughed. Pam smiled a watery smile back at him. God she was so grateful for him. She loved him so much. She could do this.

“Uhm… I was going to tell you…” Pam started with the nerves evident in her voice. She closed her eyes, grabbed Jim’s hand from her face and intertwined it with hers and held it tightly, and took a deep breath. She looked at him and braced her self for the worst, 

“I’m bisexual, Jim. I’ve known it for a while and I’ve never told anybody. But that’s what I am and I don’t want to hide it anymore.” She searched his face for any resentment or disgust. Instead, Jim just smiled and brought her in for a kiss. His arms hugged her so tightly and it took a few seconds but she kissed and hugged him back with ferocity.

He didn’t hate her. He didn’t run away. He was here. Kissing her with so much passion and love that she felt like she was going to suffocate and she didn’t want anything less. He broke the kiss and hugged her even tighter. She buried her face in his chest and started crying. It was such a relief to tell him… to tell someone. She finally felt 100% herself. She felt him kiss the top of her head over and over again. She pulled back and pulled him down for another kiss. Shorter this time but it expressed her immense gratitude and love she felt for him. When she broke away she looked back up at him.

“Pam I am so proud of you. I love you so much.” Jim expressed with sincerity.

Pam smiled another watery smile, “Thank you. I love you more.”

Jim twisted an auburn curl around his finger and said, “Come on. Dinner’s getting cold.”

Pam took his hand and kissed the back of it. They walked back to their pasta hand in hand.

Later that night they were watching Miss Congeniality, it was Pam’s turn to pick the movie, and Pam was sitting with her back against Jim’s chest on the couch. He was playing with her hair and she quietly blurted, “Sandra Bullock is one of my celebrity crushes.” 

“No way! Me too, Beesly!” Jim laughed. Pam smiled and focused back on the t.v. One day she would tell him about everything she felt when he came back from Stamford with a gorgeous girl on his arm and how confused she was. But for now, she settled into the comfort of his warm embrace and watched as Sandra Bullock kicked everyone’s ass.

Pam arrived at Jim’s apartment a little before Jim got home from the store. He said to just let herself in with her key and if she could check if he had milk in the fridge, please? Pam closed the door behind her and dropped her purse off on the little entryway table. She practically ran to his bedroom, excited to throw on one of his shirts and a pair of her shorts she had in one of the three dresser drawers her clothes took up. Once in a shirt that she decided smelled the most like his cologne and her purple soffe shorts she walked to the kitchen to check for milk. As she got closer to the fridge she noticed some sort of magnet and once she realized what it was she had to hold back a sob.

There, on Jim’s fridge, was a Bisexual Flag magnet. 

She touched her fingers to the smooth material and smiled a big, goofy smile. She had so much love in her heart for him. She wanted him to be home right now so she could…

“Like it?” Pam jumped at the sound of his voice, she didn’t even hear him come in. She turned to Jim with the same smile on her face and looked at him with his little smirk. 

“I love it.” Pam said breathlessly. Jim dropped his messenger bag and walked up to her and she jumped into his arms. He picked her up and kissed her with passion all the way back to the bedroom.