The evening had gone so well. They'd stayed indoors, in deference to the ever evolving and ongoing stormy weather. It was a remarkably relaxed evening despite the foreshadowing of the court case hovering over them both. It seemed they both inadvertently knew how to lift each others mood without trying. And after a quiet night of sharing food, fargo and earphones they had fallen, exhausted and weary but still remarkably cheerful, against each other in Jim's bed, both dropping into sleep almost immediately. The last image that bloomed in Pam's mind before the hazy darkness swallowed her was of Jim and a motley roomful of roses.

Then, of course, the nightmares came. She woke sharply in the dark room, her eyes frantically scanning the walls for man shaped shadows and silhouettes that moved in the darkness. She pulled herself to a sitting position, then found herself frozen in place, her breath coming fast and loud in the still of the night. Her chest heaved painfully,

she couldn't move. Vulnerable bumps raised up her forearms and a numbing chill attacked her from all sides. Something had happened, something unthinkable, and she was stuck in her body; caught in the space between dream and reality. Panic struck as she tried to blink away the heavy remnants of the nightmare but to her horror her eyelids wouldn't move, they were as stuck as she was with the shadows closing in around her like a fist. Her breath had turned ragged and she began to splutter, until a gentle hand slipped around the side of her neck breaking the spell and she let herself be drawn backwards, falling into the comfortable groove of a familiar shoulder.

Pam rested her head gently against Jim's neck, allowing him to comfort her. She flexed her toes, her fingers, the tingling inside starting to move away as her surroundings became clearer.

"It's alright." Jim whispered calmly, cocooning her against his chest. "Breathe deep." He watched as her front continued to rise and fall unevenly, lowering his head to rest his cheek against the side of her forehead.

"Okay Beesly." he said, feeling her body shift as her thin, cold fingers reached up to her chest and wrapped around his own. "Just take a pause. Breathe deep. C'mon, it's easy. Lakes, Mountains. Puppies. Cute, awesome puppies. Watercolors. The Getty, the Guggenheim, the Louvre. We're gonna visit all of them. The pyramids. You're gonna paint them." Jim carried on talking in a low voice, feeling the tension start to slip out of her limbs and her breathing slow down as her back trembled against his chest. "You got this, Pam. You got it, we got it."

Steadily she relaxed, second by second, the broken gasps of air smoothing out against his neck. "Almost there, babe. Keep breathing. Nice and slow. South of France. Pottery. Our date on the roof. Michael's car in the lake."

Jim spoke into the darkness, softly into her ear, stopping when her fingers began to move and warm and he was sure she was awake.

"A pretty bad one, huh Beesly?" he said huskily, rubbing her shoulder. She nodded into him, not trusting herself to speak. Tentatively her hand traveled to her throat, rubbing the sensitive skin with her fingertips.

The area above her left eye ached terribly, and she grit her teeth and closed her eyes, pushing the tears that were so near her surface down, shoving them down so forcefully her whole head began to throb.

It wasn't just that the dream had been bad. It wasn't that the dream had been so real she thought she had lived it. It wasn't either of those things. No. This dream was different, somehow worse than any she had before. Usually, everything in her nightmares was fragmented from different parts of her history, her reality, she relived things, she was tormented by old ghosts and demons. Usually.

This one was different. This time, she was not the one in trouble.

-to -

That morning both of them slept late. It was near noon when they eventually did get up and make their way downstairs. They ate a belated breakfast together in the living room quietly, neither fully awake. They had barely finished eating and were both quietly considering how to approach the events overnight when they were interrupted by Pam's cellphone.

"My mom." she mouthed at Jim, before lifting the phone back to her ear. Jim got up, gathering the breakfast things and setting them in the sink, turning back on hearing Pam calling to him.

"My parents are coming down today. Is it okay with you if they come here?" she asked tentatively, her hand covering the phone.

"Don't need to ask, silly." he grinned at her. "You're not a house guest you know."

When she had finished with the call she set the phone down beside her, looking thoughtfully out into the garden.

"You okay?" Jim said from behind her.

"Yeah." she said, not turning away from the window. "Sorry I woke you up last night."

"I wasn't sure if you would remember." he said honestly, moving to sit next to her.

Then she looked at him. "Thank you." she said simply.

"Does that happen a lot when you're on your own?" he said, a worried expression drawing over his features.

She paused, shaking her head a little. "Not…. Really…sometimes I guess but….."

"Hmmm. You know I seem to recall someone lecturing me quite forcefully recently about being honest when we're not okay…."

"Oh…. touché…" she mumbled, going red.

"So if someone does have a bad night, 'not really but sometimes' I guess she probably feels pretty awful when it happens."

"I guess she does."

"Mmmhmmmm." he mumbled, raising an eyebrow.

"I guess it's something to work on, huh?" Pam said, her fingers automatically fiddling with the hem of her shirt.

"Definitely something to think about. And of course the perks of having an on-call bodyguard outweigh any unnecessary embarrassment she might feel."

"Oh really?" she said, pulling an amused expression.

"Yup. I can call the police in two seconds flat. Don't even need to leave the house." he teased.

The only answer he found was a cushion aimed mischievously at his head. Laughing he swatted it away, watching it bounce to the floor.

"But Jim?" she waited for him to stop laughing.

"Yeah?" he raised a hand to shield himself from further onslaught, fighting down another urge to laugh at her expression, an odd cross between amusement and skittish.

"Erm…. Michaels car in the lake?"

Jim couldn't hold back. Bursting into laughter again he raised his hands in a mock defensive gesture. "I don't know, I ran out of things to say!"

His laughter was infectious and she soon found herself laughing along with him. The sound of their cheerful voices mingled together felt pretty good.

-TO-

"Pamela! How's life treating you?" William practically bellowed on seeing his daughter.

"Dad!" Pam exclaimed. She hugged the man tightly. "It's feels like it's been forever since I've seen you."

"And a day." he replied, releasing her. "Let me get a good look at you. Well now." William nodded approvingly. "You look a lot better than the last time I saw you."

"Honestly, William." Helene rolled her eyes. "He's so tactful."

The four of them settled in the living room. Pam filled them in on the court details and the attorney's advice.

"Well, I guess he knows what he's doing." William commented. "But I'm still not happy about the idea of you having to be in front of Roy, regardless of who else is there."

"I'm not doing cartwheels myself, dad. I don't think there's a choice though." Pam replied.

"If she doesn't testify it gives Roy a fighting chance to get away with it, the attorney keeps telling us." Jim added.

"Ridiculous." William grouched.

Pam shuddered uncomfortably. "Are you staying for dinner?" she said, changing the subject.

"Well, we need to go check in, then how about we go out somewhere?" Helene suggested.

"Yes, definitely. Good idea." Jim stretched his legs out and glanced at Pam.

"Check in?" she frowned. "Mom, why are you two in a hotel? Are you staying?"

"Well, we thought we might. We'd like to be here for you, with court being so close." Helene responded gently.

"But a hotel?" Pam exclaimed.

"You can stay here if you'd like." Jim added.

Helene shook her head. "Oh we don't want to impose on you at all. Pam-"

"Mom, you can stay at my place, you know. You don't need a hotel. I'm staying here for now anyway… you'll be like house sitting or something… it would be really good to have you so close by."

"If you're sure, Pammy."

"Tell you what, Helene, how about I run our suitcases over there now and we can decide were to eat when I get back." William stood up. Helene nodded agreeably. "Well, young man, how about giving the old guy a hand? Maybe stopping for a drink on the way?"

Again, Helene rolled her eyes at Pam, before firing a warning look at her husband. "Behave yourself." she said pointedly, as Jim got up to accompany him.

"What's going on there?" Pam said bewildered, after the men had gone. Helene sighed carefully, setting her purse on the floor and moving to sit next to Pam.

"I believe your dad wants to interrogate Jim. I can only apologize, and I will when Jim comes back."

Pam was still confused. "Interrogate him? What for?"

Helene chuckled gently. "For you, Pammy. He just wants to make sure history isn't going to repeat itself, and I guess he's going to give Jim fair warning."

"Oh no." Pam buried her head in her hands. "Mom, I really wish he wouldn't."

"I know but you know him. He feels it's his duty, it's a matter of pride with him.. he knows Jim is a much better man than Roy, he does know that… but you know your father. He's all mouth, it's all bravado. He's not going to be mean, of course he won't. Rather he'll just satisfy his own need to know you're in safe hands with Jim. He really does like him, you know. He just needs to get this out of his system."

"Oh boy." Pam shuddered. "Jim really doesn't deserve that, nothing like before is going to happen with him."

"I know." Helene said soothingly. "But one day, Pam, when you have kids of your own, you'll understand, okay? It's the most terrifying feeling in the world when your child is out there on their own in the world, that you can no longer protect them the way that you can when they are young. And when that child is hurt, and your worst fears are coming true, it's just unbearable. Your dad feels he should have done more for you about Roy. He doesn't want to upset Jim or you – he just wants to make sure Jim understands how important you are to us, and that he will always treat you right."

"I suppose." Pam said, but that didn't stop the wings of butterflies fluttering through her stomach at visions of her dad firing question after question at Jim.

"Well, we're all a little tense, with trial coming up." Helene reached over, lightly stroking Pam's hair back from her face. "Have you been sleeping any better?"

Pam felt her cheeks glow. "Um.. mostly.. but.. Mom, I had an awful night last night."

"What happened – nightmare?"

"Yeah." Pam said abruptly. She turned her eyes to the floor. "It… wasn't like the others Mom, this one was different. Sort of worse."

Helene reached for her hand. "Different how? Are you still having the dreams of being choked?"

Pam looked her at mother with emotional eyes, holding her gaze. "Sometimes I guess. This one though… it wasn't me… it wasn't me."

"I'm not following, Pam." Helene frowned.

Pam swallowed heavily. "It wasn't me this time, I wasn't the one who got hurt." She took a deep breath. "It was Jim."

Helene reacted as Pam suspected she would, sympathetic, gripping her daughters hand tightly. Somehow this made Pam feel worse. She didn't want to be comforted for having dreamed up something so unpleasant, something she never, ever wanted to dream – or see – again.

"Oh, honey, I'm sure that was just horrible. I think it's probably natural though, you've been through so much. Try not to overthink this, okay? Roy isn't going anywhere, and Jim is completely safe. So are you." Helene leaned closer to Pam. "If you're really worried about it, maybe you could ask your therapist what it means. Maybe it's you feeling vulnerable, frightened of losing Jim because of Roy."

"Maybe." Pam said quietly.

"Are you worried about that?" Helene persisted, her face now so close to her daughters they were almost touching.

Pam thought about it for a moment. "No… no I don't think so. Just… oh Mom, I just want this all to be over."

"I know, I know. It will be very soon, and then you can get on with rebuilding your life with Jim. You'll see." Helene said, smiling reassuringly at her daughter.

Pam smiled in return, still holding on to her hand. She desperately wanted to believe in her mothers optimism and believe it was as easy as that, but she knew better. She knew Roy would be a demon that would be hard to cast out. She knew that the coming week would be the hardest yet – for all of them. She was also impatient, impatient for her life to start over, life with Jim, life as her own person. She had thought she'd never love after Roy yet now that so much time had passed she was realizing she had fallen out of love with Roy a long long time ago. She had just been afraid of him. She had mixed the two up.

With Jim her feelings were much simpler and much, much clearer; she felt more for him – on a pure, fundamental level than she had ever felt for Roy.

No, she decided, looking at her moms kind face; she was not going to think about nightmares or worse – it was time to focus on the future now. Very soon Roy would be physically resigned to a stain in her history. The future would be Roy free. She would focus on this, focus on Jim and moving forward.

After all, she had a great team behind her.