The defense attorney was relentless – he had a keen instinct for exactly the soft areas to poke and pry at to twist her response to suit his agenda. This man was not interested in the truth. What actually happened was not a factor for him – it was what he could make believe happened that was his driving motivation.

She kind of felt sorry for him, ridiculous as he was – in her opinion there were definitely more dignified ways to make a living.

And looking back at Roy once more, his head bowed and his hands pressed together, she thought there really wasn't much difference between the two men. Aggressive, lying, abusive men – that was who they both were.

They couldn't hurt her anymore. Not any more than she had been. The worst had been done to her and she had survived it. She was alive. She was in love – for real, for the first time in her life. A love that was not reaped from seeds of fear – but actual love. She had a future. She had something to fight for. Her future; their future. Jim wanted a future with her. How many times, how many ways had he indicated that he saw them together for years to come?

She was beginning to see it too.

Nothing that was said or done in the courtroom that day mattered any more – not in the long run. The end goal was getting Roy out of her life for good – physically at least. She took her eyes off of him and looked back at the defense attorney. Curiously he was heading right out of left field this time.

"The first few months you were dating," Thorne was saying. "How did you feel towards Roy?"

She considered the question, tilting her head. "Truthfully…" she began, with some trepidation. "Truthfully I.. was overwhelmed. I thought he was...well… amazing. He was the kind of guy I never thought would look at me once."

He tapped his fingers against his lip. "Did you feel comfortable with him?"

"Yes, for the most part, I did. In the beginning."

"What was it that you found amazing about him?" That obnoxious look was back on his face, the look that said plainly that she was a liar and that he had no time for liars. She involuntarily crinkled her nose.

"At first he treated me like I was special," she said. "And I felt special because of it. Even when he left me places and forgot about me. He never wanted to be around anyone else, unless it was his brother."

Thorne crossed his arms. "So when did your feelings toward him change?"

"Um," she said, looking to Murphy for reassurance. "I don't really understand the question."

"In your statement to the police you stated–" Thorne half shrugged and fished through papers on the desk. "Excuse me – this is what you said –" He cleared his throat. "You said 'I hadn't been in love with Roy for a long time, I was just afraid of him."

Her cheeks reddened. "Oh…" It felt like one of the most intrusive things Thorne had asked of her so far. She struggled to respond. She shifted her eyes to the public crowd sitting in front of her, but the weight of all eyes directly on her so uncomfortably forced her to return her attention to Thorne. "I'm not sure…. It wasn't all of a sudden, it was a gradual thing."

Thorne paused and looked at her with barely concealed contempt. "So, allow me to ask, why is it that you agreed to marry him?"

She pressed her hand to her throat. "Roy.. had that side when we first started dating, a nicer side." she swallowed. "He promised me over and over things would be better once we were married. He said he needed me."

"I see. You were unhappy – you say you were being abused, but you still agreed to become his wife."

"Yeah." She said. It was getting hard for her to keep her voice level and patient.

"And you made plans for a wedding, although you hadn't set a date. You had selected a venue, a band, you even discussed honeymoon destinations. Why did you do that?"

"We were engaged. I thought we would get married."

"But did you at anytime ever tell Roy, or anyone else, that you didn't want to marry him?" he asked.

"No." she said honestly. She almost willed herself to glare back at the man and his fake smile. She was finding a very passionate hate emerging inside her for that plastered on smile he wore. It was like he was sending her a private message – you're a pain in the ass but I can't tell you that, so have a big fat fake smile instead.

"The night of your boss's birthday party." Thorne said, suddenly changing lanes. "Could you tell the court please, once more, what happened when Roy saw you and Jim laughing together at the reception desk?"

Pam was confused, but mentally shrugged and complied with the request. "Um...We were laughing about pranking Dwight and Roy got mad, came over to us and I thought he was going to hit Jim."

"And you got in the middle of that, as you told Mr Murphy."

"Yes, I did." She resisted an urge to add a reminder that she had already repeated this fact as had both Jim and Toby, not to mention Dwight.

"Because you thought he would hit Jim." He said smugly, looking at her through narrowed eyes.

"Yes."

Pausing, he brought a curled finger to his lips. "Mmm." he said. "So, it was Jim his anger was directed towards? Not yourself?"

Pam was visibly taken aback. "Uh… I guess at that moment…"

"At no time did he strike Jim?"

"No."

"So would you say Roy is capable of controlling his anger?" he pressed.

"No, I wouldn't say that exactly." Her mind suddenly became sharp. "I would say he's capable of restraint when he wants to. I would say that when Roy is angry that's the warning sign. It's when he's in a rage that he can't control himself."

"Was Roy ever disciplined for, say, punching a colleague? Ever arrested for assault to your knowledge? Other than to yourself, of course."

"No not to-"

" – The answer is no, he hasn't ever been arrested or accused of assault before. But you say-"

"I say it because he did it." she replied firmly.

"You've told the court how you left Roy, that you went to Jim's home that night and how you feared for your life, that you didn't want to go to the police. Yes?"

Pam stared at him. "Yes."

"Why was that?" He challenged. "Why did you clean yourself up before going to the hospital or police?"

They glared at each other across the witness area. Pam answered his question, her expression not changing. "I was scared. I was confused. I had a concussion. I can't tell you what I was thinking that night."

"That's right." Thorne seized on her words. "But you knew enough to know you didn't want to go to the police?"

"I was injured, I was in pain and I was terrified!" she flinched and drew back, suddenly remembering the full room – all of which were watching her, listening to her.

"Okay." Thorne said coolly. "Have you ever used violence towards Roy?"

She rubbed at her forehead. "The night I left." she said, speaking clearly. She would swear the attorney was five steps closer to her than he had been a moment ago. "Not before, not after."

"What did you do to him?"

"What did I do to him?" she repeated, appalled. "What I did to him was that I tried to kick him off of me when he was on top of me on the floor, I tried to hit him to make him let go of me because he was hurting me. I scratched his neck because he was trying to choke me. That's what I did."

Thorne jumped clear over her words and straight into another question that sounded like an accusation. "Was Roy injured during this fight?"

It was all she could do not to openly snort at the man. "I think he might have bled when I scratched him. Other than that I really don't know."

Thorne turned a nasty expression on her. "So, you were both on the ground, fighting -"

"Hey - he was trying to kill me!" She objected hotly.

"Roy isn't on trial for murder." he reminded her.

"Only because I got away." she shot back.

A note of hysteria had crept into her voice and she drew away from the man. Now it seemed to her that he was standing so close to her that she could pull on his tie if she stretched her arm a little.

"Were you angry at him for not marrying you, for keeping such a long engagement?" he asked.

"No."

"But everything was going along as expected, you had good jobs together, you shared a house, you were compatible sexually, you were even engaged – why wouldn't you be upset about it?"

"I wasn't." she said. She saw it that time, the small step towards her. She hadn't been imagining it. She pressed her fingers together in her lap, feeling the cold skin seep through her skirt. Twisting her hands against each other, she rubbed away at the numbness in the tips of her fingers.

"Objection." Murphy called out, clear and soft. His voice cut through the hostility, a cool calming presence. He stood up.

"Mr Thorne." Judge Summers barked not a second later.

"Your own mother doubted you at first and you didn't tell her the truth – " Thorne continued as though the Judge hadn't spoken. Pam flinched once more, red in the face. She was angry. She was scared. She was also starting to think this man had some sort of personal vendetta against her.

"No, you listen!" Pam's eyes were blazing. Her voice raised above the Judge's, who was summoning the attorney to the bench. "He attacked me, he tried to kill me, he all but kept me locked away for over five years! He's perverted and he's wired wrong and I'm telling you if I hadn't got away from him that night I might not be here now!"

"Are you quite sure, Pam? Your m– " Thorne said, closer still. Judge Summers was standing then and shouting something across the room. It was at this moment Roy jumped to his feet, yelling furiously. His face had gone from dark red to a swollen, shiny mess; rather like an overripe tomato.

"Step away from the witness immediately." the Judge said, her voice hard and sharp. She turned towards the two officers who had been stationed by the middle side door and were moving quickly forward.

"Yes! I am!" Pam could smell the mans breath now. Sticky, sour and revolting. Small pools of spittle were dotted haphazardly on the witness box front bench. Pam looked at him with disgust, her voice raising. "I have told the truth. Nothing can change the truth and the truth is that Roy is abusive, he's mean and he's a danger to women!"

"Are you kidding me?!" Roy let out a furious roar from the deep of his throat, guttural and harsh. Pam reflexively scrambled to her feet and turned to him, her hands rising together over her chest. "I'm not a danger to anybody! You tell them, Pam! Say to everyone right now you're lying!" he shouted at her, shaking off the two officers grip on his forearms. Spit flew everywhere. Pam froze, staring at him with wide eyes. His face, his eyes, were wild and chaotic with unbridled rage. This was the Roy of that night, this was the image that she saw when she went to sleep – those hard, uncontrolled eyes, fury exploding all around them; uncontainable, unstoppable.

"Take him away, take him out of here now." Judge Summers repeated to the officers. Later Pam would be amazed at the woman's ability to remain so calm. And then Roy did exactly what she had known he would do – he lunged towards her. It was a move so agile and with as much force as he could muster he almost got away from the officers. Almost. Pam squeezed her eyes shut, scampering backwards until she collided with the dock behind her with a forceful thump. A hot flare of pain shot upward from her lower back.

"I'm a good man!" Roy shrieked from somewhere further away on her right. Thorne was standing in front of her, blocking her view of the officers manhandling Roy out of the side door. "I treated her right! This ain't right!" Roy wailed as he was pushed none too gently through the exit.

Pam, still pressed against the wall, looked to Thorne with shock, surprised to find the mans face nearly mirrored her own. She couldn't believe what had just happened. Again. The noise in the room swam around her like a stormy sea and she shook her head disorientedly. The Judge was calling for quiet in the room.

"Officers." she said. Two more officers had approached the bench – and it suddenly became clear to Pam why there were so many officers stationed around the room.

"Take him out too." the judge said clearly. The men moved to the witness bench to seize Thorne. "Remove him from the courtroom immediately." she repeated.

"What? Your honor-" Thorne said, shrugging out of the officers grip on his arm.

"Now, officers." The judge repeated firmly, sitting herself down again. "Take him away."

Pam didn't move from her position against the wall, quite thankful for the support it offered. Her upper thighs were trembling and she didn't know if she was supposed to sit down again or what she was supposed to do, but she wasn't sure if she stepped away from the wall that her legs would not give way. She felt terribly exposed, standing in front of the crowded room, her family, strangers. Her legs wanted her to fall down if she moved, her legs wanted to run, to take her away from the eyes riveted on her.

"Ms Beesly." the judge said calmly, having waited until the two men were gone from the courtroom. "I apologize on behalf of the defense and counsel. I would like to thank you for your composure and dignity during your testimony today. I appreciate this was difficult. We are going to adjourn until Monday morning."

The judge continued to speak but Pam heard little of it. All she took in was that she would be out of there in a moment, away. She could shut herself away from everyone. She could try to sleep and not think about anything.

It was only as people began to file out of the room that she realized they had been dismissed. She made to move away from the wall and there was Murphy as she turned, holding out his hand to help her down off the stand.

"Don't be too discouraged." he told her as she successfully navigated the step. "What happened just now was pretty unusual. Both the defendant and the counsel being removed. You were very credible, you held yourself very well."

"What happens Monday?" she said in a tired voice. Murphy pushed his lips together and nodded thoughtfully.

"Defense co-counsel will most likely take over. I doubt Mr Thorne will be allowed back in the courtroom, at least not on this case."

Pam sighed through her nose, feeling thoroughly exhausted. She thanked Murphy, in what sounded like someone else's voice, and turned, almost colliding with Jim. Startled, she looked up at him.

"Beesly." he said, sounding as shattered as she felt. Then he hugged her to his chest. "God, Pam. He's a madman." She heard the crack in his voice and shuddered against him. "Absolute madman." he mumbled into her hair. She didn't say a word in response, she just let him hold her and then, putting an arm around her, lead her out of the courtroom.

-TO-

Her mom fell on her as soon as they stepped outside. After a moment of consenting to allow her mom the comfort, she gently tried to ease out of her grip. Then her dad was bearing down on her and it was all too much, the pleading questions, wanting to know if she was alright and how she was doing and wanting to talk about the lawyers and Roy when all she wanted to do was let it go until Monday. Finally she began to plead her excuses, she was tired and wanted to go and would talk to them later. Finally after another smothering hug from her dad, she was able to break free and make her way to Jim's car.

Helene was right behind them. "I'll walk with you." she said, not waiting for a response. Pam didn't give her one.

"Do you want me to come back with you?" Helene said, when Jim was unlocking the car.

Pam winced at the idea – and then forced a small smile to her face, for Helene's benefit. "No, Mom, really. I'm sure you're tired too and want to go home for the weekend."

"Oh, no honey, we're not going to leave you here. We'll stay until all this is over. C'mon, I'll make you both some dinner."

"It's really okay, Mom." she said, wincing once more. Food was the last thing she wanted right then. "Really, I just want to get some sleep tonight. I'll call tomorrow." she added.

Helene looked doubtful. "Well, if you're sure. You'll call if you need anything, right?"

"Really mom," Pam said, reaching her limit. "Stop worrying." Then she burst into sudden tears.

"I'm sorry, mom." she cried into her shoulder. "I'm so tired, mom, I'm so so tired."

"I know." Helene said sympathetically. "I know, honey."

When Pam drew back from her, Helene handed her a small pack of tissues and gently pushed the damp curls from her face. "Sometimes I forget you're all grown up now. You go back home with Jim, and get yourself some rest. Call if you need anything, either of you, okay?"

Pam stepped forward and softly hugged her again. "Love you, Mom." she whispered.

"To the moon and back, Pammy." Helene smiled tearfully at her daughter, and then helped her into the car.

- TO-

It was in the soft lamplight later that evening she understood. On the way home Jim had asked her no questions. Indoors he remained quiet about the day, instead talking to her about mundane things and a prank he was planning for when they were both back in the office, which raised a half hearted chuckle from her.

Then she was sitting curled up on the couch next to him, he sat, arm dropped loosely around her shoulders, saying little. He had put the Breakfast Club on for her as neither felt much like making the trip upstairs, despite their shared exhaustion.

Pam was quite content as her head lolled against his shoulder, to sit peacefully beside him and grateful he hadn't fussed around her like her family had. And she was more than grateful that he hadn't spoken of anything at all from the courtroom that day, or Roy or the case itself since they returned home.

This was so typically Jim and something she loved so much about him – he just knew what she needed. Somehow he knew when she needed to talk and when she didn't want to and he respected that. And in his own, typically Jim way he did it while still being there for her, letting her know he was there, without words – like putting on one of her favorite movies and simply letting her curl up against him and rest there.

Her parents meant well, she knew that. But Jim understood her a little better, and he understood that sometimes silence said a whole lot more, and that was exactly what she needed.