"What about over there, by the window? It would look beautiful with the sun shining on it." Helene suggested, pointing to a small round table.

"Okay." Pam said agreeably. William let out an exaggerated groan and once again heaved the heavy lamp into his arms.

"Right there." Helene said, her fingernail tapping against the tabletop. William grunted pointedly and shuffled over to the spot she was motioning to.

"Wait." Helene held up a hand to her husband, ignoring the exasperated glare he threw at her. Lifting the little table, she shifted it sideways another couple of inches, stepping back to admire the placement.

"Perfect." she announced confidently.

William coughed. "Are you sure? I'd hate to miss an opportunity to experience a hernia."

Helene chose to ignore his complaining. "Don't drop it." she cautioned, eliciting a string of muttered griping about fussy women and the things men put up with. Finally the lamp was in place on the table.

"There. Doesn't it give the room a little color?"

Pam nodded dutifully. "Thanks mom. It looks good." she said, flinching internally at the flat disinterest in her own voice. She was truly grateful that her parents had thought to bring such a nice gift for her new home, but her capacity for healthy expression of emotion had increasingly dulled in the months following her escape from Roy. It was a pretty lamp indeed, and certainly it was expensive; but now that she had been living on her own she had begun to settle in her grief, the long process of coming to grips with all that she had been dragged through, all that she'd dragged everyone else through. And now there was this certain hardening around her inner feelings, a calcifying of the tears into some sort of self preservation – a new wall that was forming, trapping her inside with a fresh numbness.

Excitement was a feeling she'd long forgotten. She was overly cautious. In her own flat voice she heard little trace of the person she was as a young girl, a voice curious and vivacious. She was possessed of a practical strangers voice at times, a stranger stranded on a strange shore. How she reacted to everything, everyone around her had changed.

Except for Jim.

Somehow, around Jim so much of her old self would come back to the surface, her masks and disguises just simply fell away. Even, her mom, to an extent, was subject to this new, conflicting version of herself. Now, looking at Helene's soft, slightly hurt eyes, she hurried to reassure her.

"It's beautiful, mom. Thank you very much."

Helene smiled. "How's Jim doing? Any better?"

"Yeah, a bit. Think his fever's starting to break now."

"I'm sorry we pulled you away from him this evening – we wanted to bring the lamp up here while it was still light out."

"We?" William exclaimed indignantly.

Pam smiled at the two of them "I'll get you a drink, Dad. Coffee?"

"That would be nice, thank you." William nodded. Pam turned to Helene, eyebrows raised.

"Yes please." she answered.

Pam moved into the small kitchen and plucked two mugs out of the cupboard, reaching up to see if she had any biscuits.

"Come on, Iron Man." she heard Helene jest from the other room. Seconds later the couch creaked. She put the water on, fragments of her parents conversation drifting into the kitchen.

"Good." her father said.

There was a sound, somewhat like a sigh followed by a groaning from the couch as one of them settled themselves.

"You mustn't give him a hard time." Helene said placidly.

"I won't." William replied. "Doesn't mean I can't still put him through the paces though."

"He's not Roy." Helene pointed out.

"Thank god for that. I just worry about her."

In the kitchen, Pam slowly stirred a teaspoon clockwise around a steaming coffee mug. A shy smile reached her lips and she tucked her hair behind her ear, touched - and a little amused – by their conversation.

Attempting to feign an expression of innocence, she carried the two mugs into the other room.

"I'm sorry I don't have any biscuits." she said apologetically.

"Scandalous." William chuckled. Helene threw him a disapproving glare.

"You've not got much done here," Helene observed, glancing around the small room. "Would you like some help unpacking the rest of your things?"

"Oh no." Pam said hurriedly, embarrassed by the offer. "I've got stuff in storage still." she flushed.

"How about we go pick some of it up for you then?" William suggested.

"No, Dad, really it's fine." she stressed. She noticed Helene observing her worriedly, but fortunately her mother simply pursed her lips and didn't comment any further. Pam quickly changed the subject.

"So, what did you want to talk to me about?" she asked, feeling her shoulders tense as her parents exchanged an awkward look. She know them well, their parent language screaming in full force in front of her. She shifted on her seat slightly, bracing herself for an unwelcome conversation.

"Well… er.. you see, Pam, it's like this...your mom and I… well we er.. actually we came into Scranton last week – we had something we wanted to do and, well…"

"For goodness sake William," Helene sighed. "Pammy, we understand you might be angry at us for what we're going to tell you. That was never our intention. But we do have to tell you this."

"What mom?" Pam said as her mom hesitated. William looked tired, nervously tapping a staccato rhythm with his shoe. "Dad?" she said when her mom didn't continue.

William cleared his throat before he spoke up. "It's like your mom said, Pam. We don't want to upset you at all. However," the man said, glancing at his wife. "However, last week your mom and I… well… we went to see Roy."

Pam stared at her parents wordlessly, feeling as the though the bottom had just dropped out of her stomach.

Of all the things that had gone through her mind, this she had not expected. She held her stare, her eyes wide and unfocused. She could see them bracing themselves, waiting for her to get upset, to perhaps lash out at them. She shook her head slowly, her forehead creasing.

"Why?" she managed to say. It barely came out more than a whisper, a soft little girl voice she hadn't used in years.

Helene leaned forward, her hand moving to gently lay on top of her daughters. Pam flicked her eyes upward hostilely and pulled her arm backwards, not missing the dull hurt that flew into her mothers eyes.

"Please try to understand, Pammy." Helene spoke softly, looking at her daughter with such love that Pam felt such an urge to scream at her. The topic of Roy did not go hand in hand with actions of loving feelings. She felt dirty, sitting there on the couch, at the mere mention of his name.

"We had to see him, to try to understand it ourselves. We had to confront him, to make it clear to him how disappointed we are, how angry at him. To try to help us move forward." William explained.

"How?" Pam said hotly. "By going behind my back? By making me into some weak little thing who needs her parents to fight her battles?"

"Pammy, it's okay-"

"Don't call me Pammy. Pam, poor little Pam who can't take care of herself. Is that it?"

"No, honey, nobody is saying that, please calm down-"

"Dad." Pam spoke tightly. "I just…. I just…" suddenly her hot fury deflated. She was tired. "I just wasn't expecting this, that's all."

"We only stayed about an hour. He really didn't have much to say. Mostly he cried, probably hoping we would feel sorry for him." Helene explained.

"Why?" Pam repeated, refusing to meet her mothers eyes, absently tugging at a loose thread at the hem of her shirt.

"Listen. We've been so furious at Roy for what he did to you. And all we saw was the Roy he wanted us to see. When I think of how he treated you all those years, how he then came to us and sold himself as the best son in law we could ever imagine. Don't you think it's taken its toll on us too? We felt we had to talk to him, for you, for us. Can you understand?"

Pam gritted her teeth together. "No, Dad, I really can't understand. I put it away, you see. I put him away, I made myself forget all of the… everything. Why couldn't you just do the same? Why did you have to go see him?"

"You're my daughter, Pam." William stressed earnestly. "You think I was just going to let him off scot-free? When I think of what he has done to you I just, I get so angry. I wanted him to know how angry I am."

Pam closed her eyes, shaking her head in disbelief. "Mom?"

"Don't blame your Mom." William said calmly, before Helene could speak. "It was my idea. She came along to keep things civil."

"I didn't want your father and Roy ending up as cellmates." Helene added, trying unsuccessfully to lighten the mood.

Pam shrugged non committally. "Did he admit it?"

The flat, empty voice was back. Pam lowered her eyes, waiting for a response from her parents.

"I'm sorry, honey." William said. "He's a coward."

"Yeah." Pam sighed. Deep inside she felt an unbelievable hurt that they had done this, behind her back, and now just telling her when it was too late for her to object to it. "Why are you telling me now?" she added crossly.

Another shared look between the two raised her frustrations further. She was sick to the stomach, sick, tired and utterly fed up. She shouldn't have to go through her life with Roy attached to her like a ball and chain. He shouldn't still be able to hurt her.

Deep down she knew her parents hadn't intended to hurt her, wouldn't never do anything to purposely hurt her, but right then her swirling emotions had taken her over, clouding the rational part of herself.

"It's just that…" Helene sighed. "Roy told his mom and his mom called us."

"Told us to back off." William continued.

"We were worried either of them might have contacted you." Helene finished. Pam simply looked at her again with hurt filled eyes.

"They didn't." she said decisively. She was rapidly cycling through emotions, calm, angry, frustrated, calm anger and decided she wanted to end this conversation.

"I should go back to Jim's." she said, standing up. "He's not well and he's on his own."

Pam took one look at Helene's hurt face and instantly loathed herself. Her kind, loving mom, struggling to maintain her composure. Pam hated having done this to her, having put her through everything, as angry and frustrated as she was at that moment, she still was her daughter, still felt the familiar pull of love eating away at her conscience.

"I'm sorry, Mom. Dad. You can stay here tonight if you don't want to drive back. I'll come back later if Jim is doing okay. I think maybe we need a few hours away from each other right now, don't you?"

Helene nodded, but didn't look happy about it.

"But Pam-"

"Let her go William." Helene said gently. "She knows what's best for her."

Pam felt a lump rush into her throat, and before she knew it, she had thrown her arms around her mothers neck tightly. Tears pricked her eyelids. Helene was startled at first but soon her hands had moved to rub her daughters back up and down.

"Thank you." Pam said, pushing back from the hug. Helene nodded, her lips quivering with emotion.

"Please give Jim our best and tell him we hope to see him soon." Helene instructed her daughter. Pam smiled thinly, turning towards the front door.

"Hey?" William said, holding his arms out to his daughter.

Pam went to him.

-TO-

In the short time she had been back to her apartment – she couldn't bring herself to call it her home – Jim looked much better in himself. His color was more or less normal and he was alert and sitting up on the couch. Dark half moons lay heavily under his eyes, betraying his attempt to come across as almost fully recovered. Pam wasn't fooled.

She had fussed over him again, checking his temperature, making him some toast and retrieving him a clean blanket. He pretended to be put out by her attention but she could read him as easily as the alphabet; she know he was delighted by her hovering around him the way she was. When she had finally satisfied herself that he was indeed okay and not about to fall into another feverish daze, she sat down next to him on the couch and settled herself there quietly.

She brooded. She felt angry by the perceived betrayal, yet conflictingly she also felt she could understand her parents reasoning for going to visit Roy. Truthfully, she was surprised that he even agreed to see them. Of course, she remembered very well how much Roy had seemed to like her parents – certainly he always displayed his best, mostly gentlemanly behaviour around them.. And she knew that her parents, especially her dad, loved Roy almost like their own son. She understood that her parents would feel betrayed by him. Her anger though, was not that they had visited her ex fiance and abuser, but yet at the decision to keep their visit a secret from her. She thought she would have talked them out of it if she'd been given the opportunity. She supposed they knew that though, and she certainly knew they wouldn't have wanted to hurt her.

She mulled it over. Returning to Jim's gave her a little distance from the issue- she hadn't been trying to punish her parents by leaving. Neither did she want to burden Jim with yet more of her incessant problems. While it was true that she worried about leaving him alone when he was sick, that was only part of the reason she'd returned.

Jim was comparable to a gentle rainstorm. Between the two of them he was the calm, rational one. He was level headed to her dramatics, he possessed a confidence that she didn't. He was the rock, steady and resolute, unmoving in the stormy waters around him. Just being around him put things into perspective, calmed her frayed nerves.

As they sat, Jim watched her curiously. They had made small talk, Pam urging him to get some sleep. Finally Jim playfully nudged at her with his elbow, doing little more than tickling her. She turned her head to the side, frowning.

"Hey. What's happened tonight?" Jim said. Pam flinched; sometimes she really forgot how well he knew her. She couldn't get away with much with him, he wouldn't let her get away with anything if thought he could help her with it.

"Hey?" he repeated when she didn't turn back to him. He lovingly stroked his fingers through her curls, dismay rising in him. Her small shoulders were shaking up and down. In seconds he had moved closer to her, wrapping his arms around her, her tears falling quickly onto his shoulder.

"Love, it's alright." he said in a soft voice. "You're okay."

Pam let out a sob against him. "I'm sorry." she cried.

Jim held her tighter. "You idiot." he said fondly. "Don't apologize. I told you before, that word is banned."

Pam lifted her head back, pulling out of his embrace slightly. Jim frowned again, shocked at the sight of her. Her face was red and blotchy, tears falling fast down her face, her eyes tired and swollen.

"What's going on?" he asked her quickly, pulling her back against his chest.

"It's stupid really." she said through tears. "My mom and dad went to see Roy in jail."

"Huh?" Jim said, dumbfounded.

"My dad has been so mad at him...he's really cut up about everything… I feel awful I've hurt him so much." she wept, pressing her face into his shoulder.

Jim swore internally. "Roy hurt him. Not you."

"But I-"

"You didn't do anything wrong. None of this is your fault." he assured her again. Gently he rubbed her back, trying to comfort her as best as he could.

"I don't know why this upset me so much." she mumbled against him. "I just.. I thought I had it away, behind me and then… I remember everything. I can't make it go away. I remember how much it hurt. Things he said to me, things he did to me. I just want to forget but I can't."

"There's a lot you haven't told us about things that Roy did to you isn't there?" Jim said boldly, acting on an earlier hunch. She sniffled loudly in his arms, not moving, not wanting to move away from him. A strange, unfamiliar feeling was crawling up inside her- a feeling of security, a sense of being protected. Never before had she felt as safe as she did right then.

"Why did he do it?" she muttered darkly. "Why won't he admit to it?"

"I'm sorry." Jim felt his heart ripping at the sight of her in so much pain. She didn't deserve this at all. "Everything's going to be alright. Nothing like that will ever happen to you again." he promised, looking down at the shivering mess in his arms.

"Why can't I forget?" she asked again. She shuddered against him. "Why can't he?"

"One step at a time, Beesly." he said kindly. "Let's get through tonight, and we'll work out a gameplan tomorrow."

Gently he slid his fingers under her chin, lifting her face up out of his chest slightly. Lowering his head, he slowly pressed his lips against her mouth in a light, gentle kiss before pulling back. Heart swelling with feeling for her, and buoyed that she didn't pull away from him, Jim lovingly lingered a second kiss against her temple, then relaxed back as her head again nestled into the cleft between his chest and shoulder.

After a comfortable silence, he spoke again. "I will never, ever hurt you the way Roy did. Never."

He felt her body tense up in his arms before she replied in a small voice. "Promise?"

"With my life." he told her, meaning every word.

"Jim?"

"Yeah?" he looked down at her again.

"I never want to hurt you either." she said, and relaxed into him.