Just press the button.
This was now the twentieth or maybe fiftieth time Pam had pulled up his number on her phone in the last day. The first was in the car yesterday, still in the Scranton Office Park lot after they talked for at least two hours and after she stupidly ruined it saying “Bye!” right into the receiver. She wanted to blame Dwight and Ryan for distracting her, but she could only blame herself. Same thing went for a lot of what had gone wrong this year.
When she got home, when she had dinner, when she took a shower, all times she pulled up his number and also all time she talked herself out of it. Maybe she needed to leave it alone, let their phone call exist as a simple conversation between old friends. Like when she ran into an old classmate at the store, she would exchange pleasantries, chat a while, make an empty promise to talk again sometime soon, then part ways and go back to her life.
Except Jim wasn’t just an old classmate. And she kind of blew up her life as she knew it five months ago.
Today was Friday and every break at work she checked her phone, praying there was a text or message from him before reminding herself he wasn't going to do that. No, anything would have to come from her.
Now she was home, changed into lounging clothes and staring at his number on her phone once again. He probably won’t answer, she told herself, he probably deleted her contact and would assume it's a stranger. And even that was presuming he didn’t just change his number outright.
She would never know how it happened but the call button was pressed and she nearly dropped the phone when she heard the ring tone. Third ringtone there was still no answer and she imagined Jim staring at his phone refusing to answer, or maybe out on a date and not even hearing it. Fourth ring, she was ready to hang up and nearly dropped her phone again when a “Hello?” came from the other end.
She pressed the phone to her ear, taking deep breaths before he said “Hello?” once again.
“Um, hi,” she finally said.
“Who is this?”
She knew it, he had deleted her contact. “Oh, sorry um, it’s - it’s Pam.”
“I know who it is, ” he said with a light laugh and Pam also let out a chuckle of relief. “What’s up?”
Pam wished she had something smooth or flirty to say but she settled on the truth, “I just - I’m sorry our call yesterday ended awkwardly.”
“Ah, well, it was getting kinda late.”
“I know, I didn’t mind though.”
Jim waited a beat before replying, “I didn’t mind either.” He took a shaky breath (or maybe she just imagined it was shaky), “So you’re calling me now, no Friday night plans?”
After sitting literally on the edge of her seat, Pam finally leaned back and settled into her couch. “I might order a pizza and see what two-star movies basic cable has to offer me tonight. How about you?”
“Probably about the same.”
“Really? That surprises me.” Jim asked why that was and Pam pushed the thought of him on a date with some smart, pretty, outgoing business woman out of her mind. “Aren’t you like an hour from the city?”
“Yeah, but, is it completely uncool of me to reveal I haven’t been to the city once since I moved here?”
“Why not?”
“I dunno, nothing there of great interest to me,” he said, Pam could almost see him shrug.
“I would want to go every weekend just to check out the museums.” She eyed her sketchbook on the coffee table. She would take that with her, fill it with replications of masterpieces, balance out the pages of sketches of a certain coworker. Well, ex-coworker.
“See I’m not a museum person, I mean, not solo, I’d go with you though.”
Pam smiled, feeling her cheeks get warm. “Let’s go now.” Jim chuckled at her cheerful suggestion. “No for real, I’ll start going now, you wait an hour and then you go, we’ll meet at MoMA.”
“Awesome! Except I’m pretty sure all the museums close at five.”
“What, no!” she said, playing up faux disappointment. “Just as well, I don’t feel like getting dressed anyway.”
“You’re not dressed? Taking ‘Casual Fridays’ to a new level, huh?”
“No, I’m wearing clothes but nothing I’d go out in, and not wearing a bra basically is not dressed.” She felt her eyes widen and started bumbling, “I mean, I have one of those tanks on with the little shelf bra.”
There’s a long pause on Jim’s end and Pam nearly smacked her hand to her forehead, why did she say that? She should change the subject, maybe he would save this with a joke. He finally spoke, his voice a little husky (or maybe she imagined it was). “Shelf bra, huh?”
“Yeah there like an extra bit of fabric inside and then an elastic band. It’s, um…”
“What color is it?” Now his voice was definitely lower and husky.
“Pink.” She laughed nervously, “How basic am I?”
“No, pink is ... really pretty on you.”
She started playing with the hem of this pink tank, rubbing the fabric between her fingers. “It’s really thin.” Oh god, what was she saying? “I mean, even with the shelf bra, I get a chill and, well...”
This was ridiculous, he was surely going to ignore her comment, change the topic, bring up Dwight or Michael, suddenly remember he did indeed have plans and he had to go now. Something.
“What if you, just, accidentally brush against something.”
Oh god, what was he saying, was this really happening?
“I don’t know, I suppose I can try it out. Should I?”
She was sure she heard him swallow hard. “Yes,” he breathed.
She bit her lip and started brushing her knuckles lightly against the tip of her breast, making a small circle until she could feel her nipple start to firm up underneath. She let out a “mmm” into the phone.
“So?” Jim choked out.
“Well, this tank top is very thin, one brush and…”
“Tell me.” She felt bad for enjoying this but the desperation in his voice was just so delicious.
“And my nipples are hard.” He practically let out a grunt and she smiled, “How about you, are you hard?”
He chuckled nervously and then his voice lowered, “Pam, I’ve been half-hard since I answered the phone.”
If she wasn’t already turned on, that voice and those words would have certainly done it. “And what are you wearing?”
“Tee-shirt, basketball shorts.”
“Those basketball shorts don’t hide much, do they?”
“Not much more than your shelf-bra tank.”
She giggled, her fingers still absentmindedly trailing across her breasts. “Tell me what you want me to do next.”
There was a long, heavy silence, building the anticipation. “I want you to touch yourself and tell me how wet you are.”
It was so strange to hear him like this, but his husky, breathy voice in her ear made her hardly care. She slid her hand under the waistband of her pants and underwear and it was confirmed she was indeed very aroused. “My panties are soaked.”
He let out a low guttural “Fuck” and just that nearly sent her over the edge, him cursing was so unbelievably sexy to her.
“Are you touching yourself now?”
“Yes,” he said between pants, and she had a crystal clear mental image of his hand wrapped around his cock, pumping rhythmically.
“What would you do to me if I was there?”
“A lot of things.” Pam nudged with a “like what?” and he inhaled, “I would spread your legs wide and lick you until you come. God, all I wanna do is make you come.”
Pam practically moaned into the phone as her finger started circling her clit, trying to imagine it was his tongue. “And then?”
“Then I’d fuck you until you come again, fill you up with my cock.”
She moaned at the thought of him above her, sweat along his hairline, pushing in her over and over. “If I were there, I would take you in my mouth. Would you like that, my lips wrapped around you?”
“Shit, yes, please.”
“And I’d suck you dry, I’d swallow every last drop.”
He wasn’t forming words anymore, just grunts and moans, and she was in the same state. Her hip started to rise and she worked her clit more intensely. She pictured him also with his hips raised, his hand stroking his thick shaft faster and faster.
“Fuck, Pam, I’m close, are you close?” She hummed “yes”, her eyes shut tight. “I wanna hear you. God, I wish I could see you.”
“Oh god, I’m … oh Jim!” she cried out, stilling her hand and feeling the pulsations against her fingertips. Between her breaths she heard him let out a deep groan, and she also wished she could see him, wished she could know what he looked like when he came.
His breaths steadied and he exhaled, “Wow.”
“Yeah,” she replied. She pulled her hand out from under her waistband and looked at her shiny fingertips before curling up her hand. What do we do now, she wondered. Talk more? Set up a date? Offer to meet him tonight at whatever hotel they can both get to the fastest. “So, um-”
“Hey, can I call you back, I kinda have a mess here,” he said sheepishly.
“Oh, yeah, of course,” she said, resisting the urge to lower her voice again and ask for details.
“Later, Pam.”
She replied but he already hung up the phone.
It was just as well they were off the phone, she also wanted to wash her hand and change certain undergarments. As she lathered up her hands in the bathroom sink, she looked in the mirror, cheeks flushed, frizzy tendrils of hair coming loose from her ponytail. What just happened? How did it happen? Yesterday it was three kitchens and movie mix-ups and today it was phone sex. She wrinkled her nose at the term “phone sex”, it sounded cheesy and dated, but that’s what it was. And she had no idea what was supposed to happen next.
He said he’d call back, she reminded herself. She returned to the living room and looked at her phone, he didn’t say when though. But surely tonight, right? After ten minutes of her staring and her phone not ringing, she grabbed it and called Alfredo’s for her usual pizza order.
Two slices into her pizza pie and half-way through While You Were Sleeping, Jim still hadn’t called back. He probably felt awkward and had no idea what came next either, Pam thought, maybe a little text to nudge him and make him feel less awkward.
But what to write? “That was fun”? “Let’s do it again soon (in person)”? As she typed, her phone dinged and a New Message from Jim Halpert alert popped up. She smiled to herself and pulled up the message. But her smile quickly faded and she swallowed hard.
- Hey, I’m not sure what got into me earlier, I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable. Friends still?
Pam’s heart sank. Friends still? This intimate moment they just had, this thing that had been building between them for three years if Pam was being honest and his reaction was to ignore the whole thing and just remain friends.
Yes of course, friends still. She typed quickly, ignoring the stinging in her eyes.
His next message was fast, as if he had it ready. Talk again soon?
A scoff came out her mouth before she could stop it. She honestly didn’t see that happening. He probably didn’t either.
- I’d like that. Have a good night.
And with that, she tossed her phone across the couch and reached for a third piece of pizza.