Summer, 2009

A swarm of small bugs were crawling over her uncovered midriff.

The section of grass she and Jim snuck off to while the rest of folks of the Dunder Mifflin branches mingled seemed to be riddled with ants and so too now was her belly.

Swiftly, she lowered her hand to swipe them off her but as her fingers swept violently past her torso, they went crashing into the lump that had been lying beside it.

“Ouch.”

Coming from out of the dream she realized she was not at a picnic, but instead in her bed and the lump she made contact with was Jim, whose head was not in its normal place beside her, but buried down below the covers.  The sensation she felt was not an army of insects but his breath softly tickling the spot where her sleeping tee shirt had bunched up leaving her middle exposed.

“What are you doing down there?” Pam mumbled sleepily.

Glancing first at the clock on the bedside table, she was still unable to make out anything but a neon green blur, but long since had figured out which amorphous shape was a five, versus a six and even a seven.

The eights still gave her a bit of trouble.

Lifting up the blanket, she further struggled to focus her eyes on her fiancé who was rubbing the nose that was still a half inch from her stomach.

“A little early for that, don’t you think?”

Contacts in or not, Pam could see the delight spreading across his cheeks, the little dimples she knew by heart forming at the edge of his lips as his smile broadened.

“Is that the mother of my child having such naughty thoughts first thing in the morning?”

It was Pam’s turn to grin sheepishly as she thought about it, her insides starting to tingle the same way they did whenever he would kiss her on that spot behind her ear.

Releasing her grasp on the comforter, she laid her head back down and let her lids fall again, still unsure what Jim was up to, too tired to investigate or encourage him, but happy to enjoy whatever it was he planning.

The gentle breeze on her middle returned as Jim resumed his strange new arousal move, whispering words she couldn’t quite make out. She thought maybe she could make out Cornell and Harvard, but decided she was hearing things, it was just in her head after another of Andy’s rants about his alma mater yesterday.

She’d almost drifted back off, the murmurs like white noise lulling her back under, when suddenly Jim shifted his lanky frame making the bed jerk so much it felt like turbulence on an airplane flying through a mysterious meteor shower.

At least that’s how it felt to Pam as she threw her hand up to her mouth and sprang out of bed taking off for the bathroom.

“Should I be insulted?” she heard him call after her. Never in her life had she laughed while simultaneously vomiting, but as she leaned over the bowl she realized there was a first time for everything.

---

Waiting with a glass of ginger ale, Jim hovered outside the bathroom, remembering her near violent response when he trailed her into it the first time the morning sickness forced up the yogurt she had for breakfast.

In all the romcom movies they watched, it was the best friend’s job to hold back hair and make gentle circles on the back of the vomiting character as they hung over the bowl. He was her best friend, wasn’t he, so naturally he followed her in to perform his duties as hair holder and back rubber.

He wouldn’t make that mistake again.

Now, whenever she had a bout of nausea, he kept a healthy distance, outside the room, but ready with medicinal beverages or her glasses or whatever he thought she might need afterwards.

“Who are you, Michael?”  she joked as she nearly bumped into him on her way out of the room but quickly dropped the sarcasm as she noticed the golden glass of bubbly elixir, taking it from him to sip as they returned to the bedroom.

“Getting worse, huh?”

“About the same really, just it hit me earlier today.”

Dropping to his knees in front of her, he leaned in again, gently moving his large hands along her sides.

“Hey you in there. Stop giving your mom such a hard time. It’s not nice. Besides we’ve got Dwight to do that.”

The hands flanking her middle began lightly vibrating as laughter filled her belly.

“Is that what you were doing this morning? Talking to the baby? Here I was thinking I was getting a little morning treat.”

“Yeah, and we see how you reacted to that.”

His hands shook again, bouncing up and down with the giggles that made her not-yet-showing bump dance.

“You realize our baby is no bigger than a bean and has not developed ears yet.”

“Yeah, well that’s why I have to get so close, so he or she can hear me.”

With that he planted a kiss on her navel before rising up to plant one on her smiling lips.

---

The following morning, she awoke again not to the alarm but to the same feeling on her stomach, which she now knew was Jim having a conversation with her abdomen. Adorable as it was, she was certain the only person who could hear him was her, and despite the deep timbre of his voice, even she was having trouble hearing it from under the covers.

Trying to still herself so not to let him know she was awake and listening, she eavesdropped on the chat going on in the middle of the bed.

“Humor, a good sense of humor is important. I’m fairly confident it’s what your mom first saw in me. I know it’s what first drew me to her. That and her gorgeous green eyes.”

The eyes he spoke of were fully open now and crinkling at the corners while a complementary smile joined them on her face.

“Of course, her yogurt breath almost sent me running…”

And with that, she realized he knew she was up and taking in everything he said. Still, it felt good to break into a full-belly cackle and not have it set off a wave of nausea.

So much so that she joined him under the covers and took advantage of being up early and feeling good enough to enjoy what she assumed things had been leading towards the day before.

---

It was the first morning all week she hadn’t felt ill but he knew they weren’t out of the woods just yet.

Breakfast every day of the past week was like Russian Roulette, with no way of telling what could set off her stomach. When just a week earlier, her morning staple of a yogurt and a muffin sat right with the baby growing inside of her, this Monday the first spoonful of her favorite mixed berry Yoplait send its mother screaming for the bathroom and soon after the same mother was screaming at its father when he went to check on his fiancé.

Tuesday, she attempted a bowl of his Life cereal, after he insisted if Mikey liked it, maybe the baby would too.

He or she didn’t.

Not in the slightest.

Pam’s belly handled the one bite she took, but the washed-out pallor that came over her face said by taking a second one she would not be so lucky. She succeeded in keeping down half a banana. Jim, in solidarity threw out his cereal and ate only the fruit’s other half, until later when she showered and he scarfed down a bowl out of her sight.

The next two days were more of the same, she was fine until the first bite of oatmeal, the test food for Wednesday and Thursday, just the smell of the cinnamon French Toaster Sticks, she insisted they pick up at Gerrity’s on the way home the night before, had her shaking her head, covering her mouth and turning back for the bathroom.

Friday, she hadn’t even made it to breakfast before the nausea hit. The only thing she tolerated were the sips of ginger ale and nibbles of the toast he made for her while she got dressed.

Jim had been the one to suggest she not take the vitamins in the morning, which may have had something to do with today’s respite, with the day before being an anomaly in that it wasn’t food or the giant yellow pills but the thought of AM relations that turned her stomach. He had been playing with her about it all yesterday, teasing her that he was still insulted about her reaction. That it hurt his feelings she was so repulsed by the thought of sunrise sex that she threw up. This morning she assured him that was absolutely was not the case. She still wanted him morning, noon or night.

The bonus was the activity, vigorous as it was, did not send her reeling for the bathroom. Quite the opposite in fact. Seems the same pastime that caused the morning sickness the day before, cured it this morning.

At least so far.

“I’m starving,” she announced as she bounded into the kitchen, her hair still all tussled and crazy, her robe on but so loosely tied so her growing-fuller-by-the-day breasts were barely covered and drawing his eyes to them again. “What’s for breakfast, besides you?”

Jim raised his eyebrows and smiled, happy to see the color back in his fiancée’s face in addition to her sense of humor which was never truly gone but sporadically put on hold when the nausea temporarily replaced it.

Starving himself, even for a weekend as it was well after their normal hour for breakfast, he held up an egg in suggestion. If thinking about eating unfertilized embryos didn’t set off her gag reflex it might be a safe to try scrambling them into creamy, yellow curds though he knew that still could.

So far, she seemed to be unaffected, so he returned to the carton and bowl on the countertop and frying pan he was heating up on the stove.

Of course, the true test would be when the scent of them cooking hit the air.

“Smells good,” she remarked, a huge grin on her face as the aroma of the scrambling eggs filled the kitchen.

Still safe. Hopefully, they’d found a source of nourishment she could tolerate in the morning. He didn’t like her going on an empty stomach until lunch when the food aversions were less intense.

Walking over to the fridge as Jim continued to cook at the stove, she began rifling through it.

“Do we have any bacon in here? I think this baby is craving some greasy, fried, pig fat.”

Jim set aside the pan and joined her at the open fridge with thoughts to help her look but got sidetracked when, along with the smell of the eggs cooking, he picked up the fragrance of her cherry almond shampoo and the subtle, lingering scent of their morning activity. Burying his head in her hair he instead wrapped his arms around her and pulling back a tangle of wayward curls, settled his lips just below her ears.

“Mmm, hearing you say greasy, fried, pig fat is such a turn on.”

---

Jim wasn’t in the bed, she could tell even though she hadn’t yet opened her eyes. She tried to when she first heard the morning chat, but it was something about baseball, her least favorite sport, so she let herself fall back under as Jim told the bean inside her something about never swinging at a first pitch.

When she woke again, she knew he was gone, disappointed she missed her opportunity to get on top of him again as she had done yesterday morning, enjoying a second round before breakfast and one more at night, but in this AM’s battle of overactive libido versus extreme fatigue, the latter won out. Maybe after they ate, she thought as she roused to join Jim in the kitchen, where he was most likely was preparing their morning meal.

It wasn’t surprising she was so tired. She was growing a tiny human inside of her, although sometimes, she was convinced what was making her so sick in the morning was another species altogether, an ET that had taken camp in the spaceship that her belly now was.

Plus, it had been an incredibly busy Saturday. After the second morning workout with her up on the kitchen counter, Jim straddled in front of her open legs doing most of the work but not all of it, followed by the first hearty breakfast she’d had all week they swiftly got dressed to head out and do the food shopping. Now that the bacon and eggs experiment was a success, they wanted to stock up, and pick up a few pints of ice cream too. Judging from her cravings, the frozen dairy treat seemed to be another native food to whatever planet their alien came from.  

Once they finished buying groceries, it was over to the mall, as she was already starting to burst out of her bras and with the dress shopping she was doing later that day, she needed to have proper support as she tried on wedding gowns, for a third time.

The afternoon was spent at the bridal shop, again, since she could no longer wear either of the last two dresses she had previously chosen.

Despite the added expense of a brand-new gown, she would never think of walking down the aisle in what she had planned to marry Roy in and so she sold it, at a loss, the dress she completely paid for and had fitted to her exact measurements.

Even if she had considered it, the poofy-sleeve and full crinoline skirt style was no longer suited to her anyway, not since she discovered the different person that she freed from deep inside after she liberated herself from Roy.

The second, she’d only just fallen in love with a few months ago, a stunning strapless sheath layered with hand beaded tulle and flaring out to an extended organza train. This was the gown that not only suited a fancy new Beesly, but she knew would be a hit with her fancy new fiancé. But it was no longer going to work, not when she was feeling her pencil skirts get tighter by the day, despite all her throwing up.

Dress shopping, even on the third go-around, was no less exciting but this time was much more exhausting, especially with her mom grilling her and her sister about their dad’s new girlfriend, and Penny comparing every gown to the one that was no longer an option.

She arrived home, crashed on the couch, slept through dinner, woke up to have ice cream followed by dessert in the bedroom, after which she was out like a light until she heard the under-the cover whispers again in the morning. 

---

Jim left in her bed to sleep. Not only did she seem to need it after her tiring day yesterday, but if truth were told he was a bit worn out himself with her sudden super-charged sex drive. He was enjoying it, that was for sure, but a morning off to re-charge wasn’t such a bad thing.

She shuffled into the kitchen a few hours later. Even tired, which he could tell she still was, she glowed. That thing he’d heard so many times about the radiant look women get when pregnant, proven true by the beauty that just joined him for breakfast.

Though he’d eaten, having taken the opportunity to enjoy his Life cereal while she slept, he jumped up, ready to prepare the meal they thought to be their unborn child’s breakfast of champions.

However, this time when he suggested the same bacon and eggs she greedily devoured the day before, she turned a shade so unnatural that if it weren’t for the white that bordered her irises and the long, thick lashes decorating the emeralds behind them, they would have been camouflaged into a face that was currently the same green hue as them.

And then she vomited in the sink.

---

“James Duncan Halpert, what did you just whisper to our baby?”

It was close to two weeks later and while the morning sickness was still happening, it seemed to happen less on mornings when below-the-blanket conversations preceded other below-the-blanket activities.

It had become a ritual for Jim, popping down to have a little talk with her belly as soon as he woke up, throughout the day too, but he never missed the chance to impart some AM wisdom to his child.

“Did I just hear you call our baby’s mother a nympho?”

Jim threw back the blanket, revealing a grin on his face that was almost as big as it had been back in the hospital when they first learned of Pam’s pregnancy.

“Well, if the shoe fits. Someone in this bedroom has hormones on overdrive and wakes up unbelievably horny every morning.”

Playfully, Pam swatted at him but he caught her hands and creeping back up to where she was, he pinned them back against the pillows. Knowing fully well she was already in the mood, he began to kiss her neck while she pretended to squirm free, her act not convincing in the slightest. Almost instantly, she went lax, melting back to the bed as he inched his way to her lips, parting them open without any resistance.

“Um. I don’t I don’t hear you complaining,” she breathed into his mouth as she retuned his kisses. “But really it’s only because it seems to keep away the morning sickness. It has nothing to do with you.”

“Oh, no?” He pressed his mouth into her swelling cleavage and his morning erection up against her thigh and when he released the hold on her wrists, she reached her hands down to remove his boxers.

When Pam returned from cleaning up in the bathroom following their AM tryst, another quite frequent ritual of their mornings, Jim scooted back in his earlier position with his lips close her stomach, his hands on the sides as if there was even a hint of a bump to caress.

“See your mom can’t resist me,” he teased addressing her belly but clearly speaking to her.

“Okay, I’ll admit that. But that’s not exactly something you should be telling him. Or her. Stick to your sports lessons, music recommendations and warnings about Dwight. Much more appropriate conversation than your mother is a horndog.”

“This coming from the mother who refers to the baby inside her as the alien.”  As he leaned in to whisper some more, her shivers said she felt the tickle of his words on her belly.

“Don’t worry, she doesn’t really think you’re an alien. She loves you and so do I.”

“I love you too, Daddy.”

As the voice reached his ears, he jumped back, his face displaying the astonishment and wonder of a child watching a magician perform his tricks.

Pam wasn’t fooling anyone with her ventriloquism skills. Not for a moment did it sound like the little squeak came from her midsection and not her mouth. That wasn’t what made Jim go all wide-eyed.

It was the daddy.

In the weeks since the company picnic, they’d discussed being parents, used the words father and dad and even pops once before Pam outlawed its use, but for Jim it was her calling him daddy that was a whole other level of bizarre. Bizarre in the best kind of way.  

---

Where mornings she still had trouble stomaching anything, at least on the days where Jim was unable to fulfill his copulatory duties, the evenings found her ravenous not for him but for food.

This particular night there seemed to be nothing left to eat in their kitchen. Nothing, at any rate that the alien was in the mood for.

“We could get Chili’s to go, if you want ribs,” Jim offered.

“No, no. I kind of wanted to go out tonight. I’ve got a little more energy and we should take advantage of that.”

Days when she wasn’t feeling like going straight to bed, or straight to sleep were rare lately and she knew it would be nice to get out while they still could.

“You know what we can go for.”

She rested her hands on the tiny little bump she insisted was starting to show even though Jim and her mom both said otherwise.

“The short ribs from Christopher’s. I know it’s Friday but maybe Beth can squeeze us in. See if you can get a last-minute reservation.”

---

They couldn’t get one before 8 but they showed up at 7 hoping Beth could find them a table if they arrived early.

That didn’t happen, in fact they couldn’t even get her attention with the crowds as they were, so they settled for the spot at the bar that opened up and ordered drinks and an appetizer to hold them over while they waited.

At 8:15 the hostess came around to show them to the table that lucky enough was in their favorite server’s section.

Beth rushed over as soon as she could, which was another 10 minutes after the bread was dropped at their table by one of the runners that filled out the waitstaff on weekends.

She had on her regular bright-eyed smile when she finally appeared at the table.

“Well, hello you two. Um, I know the rules are not as strict as when I was, but should you be…”

She didn’t complete her thought but as she spoke her eyes shifted from Jim to the empty bread basket and in the end rested on the Mixed Berry Smash cocktail that sat in front of Pam.

“I’m not going to lie and say I didn’t notice the glow when you two walked in, but since you always have a sparkle in your eyes and the rosy hue of love when you’re with Jim I wasn’t entirely sure. Then I saw you order an appetizer at the bar, oh and I am sorry about the wait tonight but you know better than to come on a weekend… still I am happy to see you, very happy since I think…see the bread is also all gone, and you’ve never cleared the bread basket before…so I’ll ask again. Should you be drinking that?

Pam stammered for a moment as she tried to keep the smile from spreading across her face. They hadn’t told the office or any of their friends for that matter. Was it right that they share the good news with their waitress, no matter how friendly they’d gotten with her, before Isabel, Mark or Michael?

In the end it was Jim who was unable to keep his excitement contained.

“Yes, she should but only because it’s a virgin.”

Beth clasped her hands together and practically hopped as Pam shook her head up and down with such an immense grin, she felt her cheeks might crack from the breadth.  

“Oh, such wonderful news. Congratulations. How far along? How are you feeling? This guy taking care of you?”

She turned to face Jim for a moment then back to Pam.

“I know he is. He’s such a mensch.”

Pam didn’t have time to ask what it was, this word that sounded a little like an insult, but knew it had to be something complimentary, before Beth leaned down closer to whisper to her.

“Did pregnancy libido hit you yet?”

If she had enough of a rosy glow for Beth to notice on her cheeks before, now they were so crimson she didn’t even need to answer.

“Ah so it has. Enjoy that.”

She took their order and left them to attend to other customers, coming back soon after to deliver their food personally and serve some up some pregnancy advice with the meals.

On her third visit to the table, she lingered with them a few extra minutes, probably longer than she had time for on a busy Friday night, but it soon became clear why she was devoting so much of her precious time to them.

“I can’t tell you how much I’m going to miss you two.”

“We’re having a baby, not moving to Mars,” Jim replied winking at Pam as he did. “I assure you we’ll be back.”

“Yeah, this is our special place, not only does it have huge significance to us, but the food is delicious and the service is top-notch. Beth, you’ve become a dear friend. We will absolutely be back to see you.”

“Sure, maybe you’ll make it back in a time or two before the baby comes but with the wedding and the honeymoon and all the baby prep, I’d be surprised if it will be more than that. And then once the munchkin arrives, fancy dinners are off the radar for some time.”

“Funny you say radar, since Pam is convinced she’s carrying an alien in there.”

“Yeah, well just wait until he or she starts moving around, then you’ll really feel like you’ve got extraterrestrial inside of you.”

Pam smiled up at Beth warmly, wondering when she would first experience the little flutters she read about in her What to Expect When You’re Expecting book, about to ask what it was like.

“But oh, it is so worth it. Every little bit of it, even the nausea and the heartburn and the sleepless nights once the baby comes. It’s like nothing you’ve ever experienced and the most amazing thing you’ll ever do. It’s tough sometimes that’s for sure, but so rewarding and so wonderful.”

The bright eyes of their server began to sparkle more than usual as a layer of moisture seemed to fill in over her corneas, a tiny trickle spilling out from one corner which she surreptitiously tried to wipe away.  

“Don’t mind me. I’m just so happy for you knowing what you have ahead. Before you leave tonight I want to give you my email and number so you can at least keep in touch a little. Oh wow, I am going to miss you.”

“Of course Beth, and we will give you our numbers and emails too, but I’m sure we’ll be back. My mom is so excited to babysit and as we hear it from you, we’ll need to get a little break from parenting once in a while and this will be the first place we will want to come.”

“Well maybe you will and maybe you won’t but I’m still going to miss this version of you because you’ll be different after this. You won’t just be Pam and Jim anymore. You’ll be parents.”