Pam and Roy were staying at his family's lake house when she found out. It had been raining all day, she listened to the water pelt the windows as she took the test. The pink lines appeared quickly. They were more ominous than she expected them to be, looking back at her like two magenta warning signs. 

It would be a week before she told Roy, knowing deep down what was coming. They had been on thin ice for months, and he was on the verge of calling it off. So when she cornered him in the kitchen that faithful Sunday evening to say “I'm pregnant,” it pushed him over the edge. 

“You're kidding, right?” he asked her.

“I'm not kidding,” she said, shaking her head.

“How...How did this happen?” He put his hand on his forehead, the color in his face fading fast. 

“I think you know,” she said, not noticing his distress. Later, when all was said and done she would regret saying this most. 

“How could YOU let this happen, I don't want this!” he had abandoned his earlier question and his earlier tone, his voice now growing louder and louder by the second.  

“Hey, it's not only my fault! I remember you being there too!” she yelled, her own blood now beginning to boil. 

“I can't be a dad, Pam,” he yelled back at her, “you'll have to get rid of it!”  

“Well, I'm keeping it, so you're going to be dad!” 

“No, I'm not,” his voice suddenly dropped down into a low, ominous tone. She had never heard him use it before and it sent shivers down her spine.

“Yes you are!!”  she was nearing hysterics, tears suddenly falling onto her cheeks. She just didn't understand why he was acting like this. Isn't having a baby supposed to be happy news?

“In what fucking world are we ready to be parents, Pam?” he questioned her. He only ever swears around her when he's super upset, so his use off “Fucking” set of alarm bells in her head. This wasn't going to end well.   

“This world!” she demanded, her voice still raised, the tears stinging in her eyes.

“We're not doing this'' he was looking at her, but she didn't see him staring back at her. He looked like a stranger, a horrible, crazed, stranger. 

“Yes we are!” she insisted. 

“No we aren't!” he took his hand and pinned her up against the wall by her wrist. She looked at him, sobs wrecking her body. She was completely terrified. 

“What the fuck, Roy!” she yelled as she wiggled out of his grasp. “You know what, if you don't want to do this then I'll do it alone.”

“No, you won't,” he said, the crazed look in his eye still there. 

“Yes I will! Get out!” she didn't realize the weight of the words until they left her lips and hit the air. The reality of her decision suddenly sat on her shoulders as she ushered Roy into the bedroom and dug his duffel bag out of the closet. The weight spread to her lungs as she watched him drive away. She sat on the floor in the kitchen, letting the tears fall, letting it all wash over her. She was going to be a single mom. Fuck. 

----------- 

She took a week off after breaking it off with Roy. Her mother stayed with her, making soup and doing her laundry. She held Pam when she was crumbling, and became the glue that held her together during those first few days. It was all just too much to handle on her own. An unexpected seismic shift in her life.   

When she finally returned to work she looked worse for wear. Morning sickness had hit her like a truck and she had been puking her guts out for days. And, as you can imagine, a week's worth of crying and barfing doesn’t typically mean that you're the picture of health. Her skin was pale, her eyes had dark bags beneath them, and her hair was a frizzy mess. 

But Jim, in his sweet, classic fashion, still spent most of her first day back with her. He kept one hand in the jelly bean container, and the other on her computer, never wanting to leave her side. Sure, he missed a few calls, but he would lose a thousand sales if it meant getting to lean over the desk and make her laugh - a fact she wishes she knew at the time. 

It wasn't until lunch that he finally asked the big question.

“So where were you last week? I was worried about you, Beesly.” he asked her as he took a bite of his ham sandwich. 

She looked at him, all too aware that telling him was letting him into the nightmare. Telling him would make it even more real. 

“It's a long story,” she told him, looking down at her hands. 

“I've got time,” he said, a little smile on his face. He didn't get it yet, the gravity of the situation.

She sighed. “Alright, if you really want to know.”

“I do”

“Okay. I was out because I found out that I'm pregnant, and when I told Roy he reacted so badly that I kicked him out.” she looked at him as she finished telling him. He was staring back at her with an utter look of disbelief on his face. That was to be expected, but what wasn't was how he took his hand in hers over the table, his thumb rubbing circles over her palm. 

“Oh my god, Pam. I’m so sorry.” he breathed out 

“It's okay,” she said, her voice shaking. She was trying to will the tears that were welling in her eyes not to fall.

“No, no it's not.” he told her. He took his free hand and used it to wipe away a tear that she had not managed to keep at bay. “Is there anything I can do to help?” 

“Just, don't leave me too. You're my best friend and… I need you” she said. Pam knew deep down that it was a big ask, but it was all she could think to say. It was all she truly needed in that moment.

“Okay,” he told her, and she knew that he meant it.