Maybe it was how quickly she came up with a way to help him this morning with his impromptu telekinesis prank. Maybe it was the wink that she gave him, right in front of Roy, after they pulled it off. Maybe it was the way she looked, that periwinkle dress hugging her perfectly, her curls a little neater, making him want to run his fingers through them. Maybe it was the looks she gave him from across the poker table, trying not to smile but failing to do so, her giggles when he would call her out on it. Maybe it was all of this and every other thing she has done – pranks, lunches, drawings, breathing – within the last seven years that has him confessing to her.

He had reached his breaking point, it was either now or never. And even though her words confirming it really would be never, that she can’t, are ringing through his mind on loop, he still finds himself following her up to the office. He kisses her, because if he’s gone this far, he might as well give her everything he’s got. She kisses him back and he thinks maybe, just maybe, she changed her mind. She can, and she will, and it’ll all be okay.

But then she says she’s still going to marry Roy, and the pieces of his heart that were slowly coming back together with every second that his lips were on hers, are shattered once more.

The worst part, he thinks as he leaves her in the office, getting ready to call Jan to confirm the transfer, is the look she gave him as he turns to walk away. It’s the same look she gave Toby after his divorce, or Angela when one of her cats die. Her look that says, I’m so sorry and I wish I could do something to make this better.

Because she doesn’t like hurting people, he knows that. She would never intentionally crush him like he is right now, would never lead him on, knowing she would have to, one day, turn him down. So, somehow, even though he feels like his heart has all but disintegrated, he loves her a little more after tonight, because she doesn’t deserve anything less.