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Author's Chapter Notes:

Chapter two! I'm so excited for you guys to finally see where Jim and Pam wound up, and meet their family! Hopefully you love them as much as I do.

 

thank you to my beta! you are my favorite person.  

Fourteen years later...


The bed was cold. She could hear the shower running as she stirred awake. The clock on her nightstand read six am, he had probably been up for half an hour already, and he would be gone before the kids were up. 


Things had been like this for a while now.  It was the price they had to pay for his new job, new opportunities, and a better future for their family. But it had begun to take a toll on her. Three kids is no joke, and she felt bone tired at the end of every day. Yet, she pushes on. Because she loves him, and she loves their kids. 


Cecelia is twelve, and the spitting image of her mom. Her and Jim affectionately call her their little “spitfire”, due to the fact that she inherited her parent’s wit. 

Phillip is nine, and a little ball of energy. Jim swears weekly that he's trying to give him a heart attack. But at least he's old enough for team sports, because those sure do help him channel his boundless energy into something productive. Pam proudly displays his soccer trophies in the living room, next to her and Jim's Dundies. 

Eloise is four, and was born shortly after her parents celebrated ten years together. She is the sweetest little girl, and Pam just adores her. 

Her kids, they are her world, and she is so grateful that she gets to be their mom. 


She rolled over, facing the bathroom door. She stared at the fogged glass door, waiting for him to emerge all steamy and clean, for him to kiss her goodbye and make a promise to be home early, a promise that he will probably break. 


Sure enough, a few moments later, he walked out of the bathroom, and over to the dresser. She watched him pick out a tie and pants, curating his image for the day. They used to have so many of these mornings, back when they first started dating. Making up for lost time by trying to memorize every last inch of one-another. She knew every curve of his body, the way he made his coffee, what dish soap he bought, and now, well now, now he feels like a stranger sometimes. He was gone so much now, it made her feel like she was married to a ghost sometimes. 


“Hey,” she breathed out as he began to buckle his belt.


“Hey.” he said, “I didn't realize you were up.” He turned away from her, buttoning up his shirt. 


“Let me tie your tie.'' she said, crossing the room to get to him. 


“Remember when I used to do this every morning?” she asked him, as she made quick work of the tie. It was the one she bought him when he got this new job, back when they didn't know that they were celebrating the thing that would threaten to break them.  


“Yeah,” he said, a laugh escaping his lips, “back at our old place in Scranton.”


“God, that place was tiny. Remember how you could barely even take a shower because of how small it was.”


“Yes, Pam. I most definitely remember that.”


They left it at that. 

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She showered after he left, trying to savor the last bits of the morning before the kids got up. The mornings were her time in the summer, the calm before her storm of a life. She just wishes that she got to share them with him more. He was gone so much now, her time with him few and far between. It makes little things like reminiscing about the beginning of their relationship or getting ready feel like grand gestures. A love language so quiet it was almost mute. 


She dressed in a pair of soft cotton shorts and a t-shirt. She called it her “Summer mom uniform.” Even if it's comfortable and appropriate for caring for three kids, she misses her sundresses and nice sandals of previous summers. Now they sit in the back of her closet, reminders of days spent wandering museums, and the pain of missing him. That's the only thing that she doesn't miss from her young life, living without him. That pain was so unbearable, she would happily never dress up again to avoid it.  


As she was pulling her hair back she heard a voice in the hall calling for her.


“Mama!” Eloise cried as she made her way into her mom’s room.


“Yes, sweetheart,” Pam said to her daughter, “what is it?” 


“I’m hungry.” she told her, her little arms crossed over her chest. 


“Alright, let's get Cece and Phill up and then I'll make breakfast.” she told her daughter, who was holding her arms up to be held. She was currently in a major “carry me” phase and Pam was powerless against it, especially in the morning when her pajama clad baby girl is looking up at her with those big green eyes. So she lifted her up, her little arms around her neck. 


She went to Phillip’s room first, knocking on the door before letting herself in.


“Time to get up, sleepyhead.” she said from the doorway, watchin the little boy stir. When he rolled over, trying to resist waking up she told him that they were “having pancakes.” That did the trick to get him out of bed.  


Cece was already awake when she knocked on the door of the room she shares with Eloise. She was sitting up in bed, a book in her hands, and a pair of headphones covering her ears. Lately all Cece wanted to do was listen to her mom's “old music” and read whatever book she could get her hands on. Currently she is making her way through the Harry Potter books. It’s adorable to watch.


“Cece, it's time for breakfast,” Pam told her from the doorway. When she didn't turn to acknowledge her mom, she walked over to the bed and took her headphones off. The Killers “Mr. Brightside” playing loudly through the headphones that were now in her hands. Cece looked at her mom, surprised.


“Breakfast,” she told her for the second time. “We're having pancakes.”

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The kids spent the day engrossed in their activities of choice, while Pam got together the house for Karen and Julia. Julia would be coming down to spend the rest of the summer with them, (two months), starting tomorrow, and per tradition, Karen would be joining her for the first week. Their house is a three bedroom, so in order for Julia to have her own room (Karen INSISTS that she has one, even if Julia doesn't really seem to care), Pam has to move Phillip's things into the girl’s room, and set up his bed in there. It's a massive undertaking, and one that Jim would normally help her with, but he's working late tonight, so it's all on her this year. 


After clearing out most of Philip's toys and clothes from his room, Pam brought in the cot for Julia. She tried to make the room as nice as possible, wanting her now sixteen year old step daughter to feel as comfortable as possible. She put the new sheets she bought for her on the bed, and a book that she had liked at Julia's age on the nightstand. She made sure that there were enough drawers cleaned out for her, and that she would have a place to charge her phone. It was her little way of reminding her that no matter what, she was here for her, and ready to give her anything that she needs.


For Karen, Pam made up the living room. They have a sofa bed specifically so she will have a place to sleep, a peace offering from the first time that she came to visit with Julia. Sure, it's not Pam's favorite thing, the fact that her husband's ex-wife stays with them, but it is what it is. So why not make the best out of a bad situation and try to be nice? 


Once everything was ready, Pam got to work on dinner. Before his new Job, Jim used to be home early enough to help her cook. Hell, they even have his and hers aprons. But now his just sits in the cupboard, waiting for the day when he's able to dust it off and once again join her in the kitchen. 


Per Phil’s request, she made spaghetti that night. He had been asking for it for weeks now, and nothing matched the look of delight on his face when she served it to him. 


“Wow!” he exclaimed, “Thank you, Mom!” 


“Your welcome, baby,” she told him, kissing him on the top of his head. 


They ate in peace for a while before Cece asked the question that she dreads hearing every night. 


“When is dad going to be home?”


“I don't know, soon.” she told her, telling the truth even if it hurt to do.


“He's been gone every night this week,” Cece said, “how many more late nights are there going to be?”


“Hopefully this is the last one for a while. Now, finish your food so we can get you guys off to bed. We're going to the airport early tomorrow to get Karen and Julia.”


“Yay! Julia’s coming home!” Eloise yelled from her place at the end of the table. 


“That's right, she's coming home.” Pam knew that to Julia, Paris is far from her home, but she had no intention of squashing Eloise's belief that it is. She's the only one of her kids who still thinks that their blended family is “special”, and not a complicated mess of heartbreak and new beginnings. It's refreshing, her pure view of the love that holds their family together.

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It was midnight when he came home. She could hear him lock the door, his footsteps quiet so as to not wake the kids. 


He laid down next to her, still in his work shirt and pants. She heard him let out a sigh, and opened her eyes to see him looking at her. 


“Hey,” he breathed out. The same greeting from this morning, except now it was hollow and tired. The tender love of the morning was replaced with the cold reality of their life. 


“Your dinners in the fridge,” she told him, rolling over. She couldn't look at him like this anymore, exhausted and broken. 


“Thanks,” he said, standing up to change into his pajamas. 


“Will you be home tomorrow?” she asked, hoping that the answer she was anticipating was wrong.


“Yes,” he said, “but I'll have to work overtime for the rest of the week.”


Pam sighed, she was right. 


“Well at least we get tomorrow together, the kids really need it, they miss you.”


“I miss them,” he said. He didn't sound like himself.


“Are you okay?” she questioned him.


“Just had a hard day,” he told her, turning to meet her eyes in the dark, “that's all.”


She didn't believe him, but it was almost one am, and she didn't have the energy to push him on this. He crawled into bed, laying so that he was facing her still turned away back. He was asleep before she got a chance to tell him goodnight. So, for the fifth time that week, she whispered it to his sleeping form.


“Goodnight, Jim. I love you.”

Chapter End Notes:
thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please feel free to leave a review or a jellybean, I would really appreciate it. 

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