“I liked your bangs,” She laughed, pushing his hair down below his eyebrows. “I miss this,” she pouted playfully. 

Jim’s hand made his way to his forehead, moving strands out of his eyes, a smile on his lips as he pulled her closer to him, he pressed a kiss to her forehead, as she melted into him. The softness of his undershirt against her cheek, and she pushed her legs out further on their couch, finding her favorite spot, right upon his crossed thigh. Once she was comfortable, he ran a finger through her curls, pulling a piece to the back of her head, 

“Well I liked your barrettes” 

With a snort she turned her head upward to face him, 

“I can’t believe you know what those are called,” she giggled, and his hand rested against her cheek, his own blushing slightly. The room was quiet for a few moments, the only sound being the white noise from the baby monitor just inches away from them. With a glance he looked at the monitor, staring at Cecelia sleeping in her crib finally without needing to be rocked first. 

Pam sighed, her fingers wrapping around his, she loved the feeling of his hand against her face. She remembered a time when his hands were slightly softer. It was before days of building cribs, and fixing leaky gutters. 

“Do you ever miss,” she stopped. 

“What?” he prodded, 

“It’s silly,” she smiled, “let’s just watch the movie,” she went to pick up the remote.

“C’mon,” he gave her a toothy grin, and it was all she needed to spill whatever it was that she was thinking or feeling in that moment. 

“Remember when you made me dinner?” 

“You mean like, yesterday?” he snorted, “Yes Pam, I do remember making you spaghetti and meatballs from a bag last night. Very gourmet,” 

“No, no,” She sat up, and pulled herself into his lap, Jim’s arms methodically moving around her frame as they had so many times before. 

“Grilled cheese. When you made me grilled cheese, with Angela’s tomato?” 

“Yeah, I remember that,” and the way my cheeks felt warm from the wind whipping on the rooftop, 

“Remember Dwigt?” 

“I do,” she could feel his smile behind her, and how I was up that night until far past three in the morning adding new music to my ipod, so I could share it with you again soon 

“Do you ever miss that?” 

His mind shifted to the present, his eyebrows furrowing, 

“Pam, I,” he cleared his throat, “I wanted to be with you so badly,” 

The mood had shifted, and so did her position, “I know,” she pulled him in for a kiss. She let her tongue slip into his mouth, gliding over his teeth before flicking it against his lip. 

“You were right,” a thumb wiped the leftover chapstick off his lips, he raised an eyebrow curiously. 

“About that night. We danced,” 

There was silence, 

“I said you were right, we didn’t sway, we danced,” 

“What are you saying?” he shifted his leg, it had fallen asleep, 

Pam brushed her ear against her shoulder and sighed, “Sometimes,” she looked to the baby monitor, she felt tears in the corners of her eyes forming, 

“Hey.” that look of concern, the way his voice slightly lifts up at the end, and a hand quick to her arm, 

“Sometimes the baby is just a lot.” She knew the tears would fall if she kept talking and she damned the post pregnancy hormones. 

He nodded, knowing full well his exhaustion from becoming a father one day and life changing instantly, was nothing compared to the work Pam was doing for their child daily. Her body went through enormous changes just to bring the baby, their baby, in the world. And then there was everything after the birth. Cece was the best thing that had ever happened to them, but she was also the hardest thing they’d ever done together. 

“Waking up in the middle of the night, and not really sleeping, and she’s just so fussy all the time,”  she felt a falling tear wiped away. 

“Sometimes I miss before,” her head tilted downward, her eyes maintaining a spot on the couch that was most definitely spilled milk, and it most definitely had been cried over. 

“Me too,” it was quiet, and from somewhere deep in his throat. 

She looked up, “This is hard,” she felt completely depleted, and she wished for just a moment she had him entirely to herself. That for just a moment it was the two of them, simply pining over each other. 

“It is hard, but we’ve done hard.” 

His eyes fixated on hers, “giving birth to Cece was so hard, do you remember the scratches you left on my hand?” a sheepish smile spread over his face, another tear wiped. 

“You going to art school was hard. I literally missed you every second you weren’t with me,” She nodded enthusiastically at him, letting more tears spill over. 

“Waiting for you, was so so hard,” 

“Cece? Yeah, she’s hard. But Pam you are so brave, and strong, and we’re great parents. You’re a great Mom. And before you even know it? She’s going to grow up, and you know what? It’ll be a new type of hard. She probably will be a huge pain-very sassy,” 

She laughed, “Probably,” 

“The point is, it’s okay to miss that. I miss it,” 

“You do?” 

“Yeah, of course I do- I miss every moment with you that has passed,” he heard the soft whimpers coming from the camera on the coffee table, 

She welled up once again, “I love you,” Pam went to stand up, 

“You stay right here, and when I get back we’ll sway,” 

“Dance,” she corrected him. 

“Dance,” he repeated.