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Karen couldn’t wrap her head around the idea of Jan and Michael together. She was half convinced that Pam was pulling her leg about that stuff and somehow had gotten the whole office to play along. Jan radiated confidence and professionalism, and Michael radiated… there were no words for what Michael radiated. Or at least, Karen refused to think about him long enough to find them. But she liked Jan, though she would like her more if she got rid of Michael altogether. She was glad for the women in the workforce meeting, even if it had turned into a shitshow. She got to talk one on one with Jan about career development within Dunder Mifflin and outside of it. She was still pondering all of this while choosing a snack from the vending machine when Jim entered the breakroom.

“Hey, Karen. How was your meeting? Learn anything interesting? Michael had some fascinating ideas about what you were discussing in there.”

Karen shuddered. “I will literally buy you anything you want from this machine if you promise never to tell me what those ideas were.”

Jim chuckled. “Deal.”

They sat at a table with their loot.

“It was helpful actually. Jan was telling me about some positions that might open at corporate soon. She didn’t know whether I would have enough seniority within the company to apply. But at least I am on her radar now.”

Jim seemed taken aback. “Oh wow. That sounds like you were actually productive in that meeting.”

“Don’t worry, there was also a lot of bullshit, stuff about second base and slut shaming Jan.”

Jim smiled at her jokingly. “Faith in Dunder Mifflin restored.”

Karen toasted that with her can of soda.

“So, you are thinking of leaving then?” Jim asked.

“Yeah. I mean, aren’t you? I can’t see myself working under him for much longer.”

Jim seemed to think about that for a second.

“I guess I got so used to it that it doesn’t shock me anymore. You know, like the frog in the hot water thing.” He started to pull apart the wrapper from his candy. “But yes, lately, I have given some thoughts to leaving.”

“By June of this year maybe?”

He looked at her ruefully.

“Yes, maybe around then.”

Karen was torn, she didn’t want break Pam’s confidence and tattle about what she knew of the trouble brewing between Pam and Roy. At the same time, she wanted to shake Jim until his teeth rattle and tell him to do something about it.  

“Do you remember that conversation we had on the booze cruise?”

He nodded.

“I stand by what I said then, now more than ever.”

His focus on her sharpened in an instant. “What do you mean?”

“I mean that if you are seriously considering leaving, you might as well make sure you are not leaving something on the table when you do.”

He was staring into her like he was searching for the answers to the universe deep inside her soul, or the answers to one Pam Beesly at the very least, which might be synonymous for him. She stared back, hoping he would understand everything she refused to say out loud. That she would not recommend this course of action if she didn’t think it would be well received.

He finally looked away. “It’s just that… She has to know, right? She would have said something by now if she…” he trailed off without finishing.

“You know her better than I do, so tell me if I’m wrong, but from what I’ve gathered, what Pam knows and what Pam lets herself believe are two very different things.”

 

“So have you given more thoughts to the graphic designs internship?” Karen asked before taking a sip from her coffee. She and Pam had fallen across this delightful coffeehouse while they were killing time before Karen was supposed to visit an apartment.

She had decided that, even though she didn’t know how long she would remain in Scranton, she couldn’t stay in that hotel any longer. So, she had taken Pam with her as moral support through the excruciating process of apartment hunting. The first couple places they were able to visit hadn’t looked good to say the least. However, she had great hopes for next one based on the pictures she had seen. And this coffeehouse, with its wood panel walls, warm atmosphere and cozy sofas, was selling her on the neighborhood.

Pam looked similarly content, drinking her tea from the chair in across from her. “Yes, I got more details from corporate. It starts in mid-February, and it is two weekends a month. I would even be able to leave on Fridays around 12pm to get to New York. Then there is a twelve weeks program this summer starting in June.”

“That sounds great,” Karen said smiling.

“Yeah…” Pam trailed off.

“What?”

“I haven’t discussed it with Roy yet.”

“Why not?” Karen asked, though she was not surprised.

Pam sighed. “We have been fighting so much lately. About the wedding and about… the other stuff.”

“You mean, about the fact that you have been unhappy and overlooked for a while now?”

Pam threw her an unimpressed look. “Yes, about that. I just know that the internship, with the timing and all. It is just going to make everything worse, so I have been putting off having that conversation.”

“Putting off the conversation or the internship?” Karen asked pointedly.

“I don’t know. The conversation, I guess. He keeps saying that it’s all coming out of nowhere. That we were happy, and I never said anything before, and it seems unfair to unload all of this on him at once.”

Karen had many things to say to that, but Pam looked really defeated so Karen went with what she thought Pam needed to hear the most.

“Hey, I’m sorry you are going through a rough time. It must suck. But you know you have the right to tell Roy how you feel. And maybe it took you a while to get there but that doesn’t matter. How he reacts to what you’re telling him now shows you what kind of man he is.”

“He is right that it is sudden.”

“Okay, then. Maybe it was a shock for him, and he might have responded badly in the moment. He has had time to reflect by now. From what you’ve told me, he is not changing his tune.”

“No, I know,” Pam said in the manner of people living through the cognitive dissonance of knowing something intellectually and yet understanding something totally different emotionally.

“The internship would be a great opportunity to give you perspective on everything,” Karen replied, trying a different tactic.

Pam nodded. “It would be something different for sure.” And in a very casual way, she continued. “Jim says I should take chances sometimes.”

Oh, Jim said that, did he? How shocking. Karen tried to keep her poker face. She wondered if this was Pam’s way to finally talk about her and Jim.

“You told Jim about the internship?”

“Yeah,” Pam smiled. “He thought it was a great idea.”

“You guys are very close. He knows you well.”

“He is a great friend.” Pam made a show of looking at her watch. “We should probably go, no?”

Well, that was one way to shut down that conversation. Though Karen looked at the time and realized that Pam, in all her evading glory, was correct about them needing to go.

As they were throwing away their trash and making their way outside, Pam spoke. “You know, I used to be so afraid of ending up alone. I’ve been with Roy for so long, the idea of being by myself was terrifying. But now looking at you, moving to a new city and searching for an apartment and making all these decisions. I don’t know. It doesn’t seem so scary anymore.”


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