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Story Notes:
Angsty, but not because of Jam. Set in Season 9, after Paper Airplanes, but before they move to Austin.
It's a Friday during the middle of the day and the bullpen is busy. Pam is in the middle of putting in and order on her computer when her cell phone goes off. She looks at her phone and sees that her mom is calling. Since her mom is watching the kids for the day she decides she better answer it.

'Hey mom. Are the kids ok?' Pause. 'What?' Pause. 'When?' Pause. 'Ok.'

Jim looks up from his paperwork when he realizes that his wife is visibly upset and her eyes are filling with tears.

Pam continues. 'I know mom.' Pause. 'Ok, I'll call you later.' Pause. 'Yeah, I love you too, bye.' She hangs up her phone and stares at her hands.

Jim gets up and walks over to her. 'Hey, what's the matter?'

'My meemaw just died.'

'Oh honey, oh no. I'm so sorry.' He leans down and hugs her and kisses her head. Pam just stares into space.

'I can't believe she's really gone.'

'I know. Do you want me to take you home?'

Pam starts to get her stuff together. 'I need to go too mom's and get the kids.'

'Why don't I get the kids and you go home and do whatever you need to do?'

Pam looks at him. 'Ok.' She suddenly starts to cry and he holds her again.

'Do you want me to take you home?'

'No.' Slightly muffled talking into his shoulder. She gets her stuff together and stands to leave.

'I'll walk with you to your car and tell Dwight that you're taking the rest of the day off.'

'Ok. Thanks.'

They go down to the parking lot together and Jim gives her another hug before she gets in her car. 'Call me if you need me. I'll be home in awhile. I love you.'

'I love you too.'

He watches Pam drive away and goes back into the building.

Hours later Jim comes home with the kids. He puts a movie on and lets them watch it while they're coloring.

Jim takes off his sport coat and tie and walks back to his bedroom that he shares with Pam. He quietly opens the door and sees her figure curled up in a ball on her side of the bed sleeping. he goes in and sees that she's still got her work clothes and shoes on. He sees her face and notices her hair is a little messy and her makeup is slightly smeared. She's been crying. He gently takes off her shoes and puts them in the closet then he takes out and extra blanket and drapes it around his sleeping wife. She moves a little and stretches out her legs. When he sees that she's not waking up yet he leans down and kisses her on the cheek. 'I love you Beesly.'

He leaves their room and closes the door quietly.

The kids are still sitting in front of the TV coloring.

Cece looks up to her daddy. 'Daddy, where's mommy?'

'She's taking a nap sweetie.'

'A nap? Is she sick?'

'No honey. She's sad. Sometimes when you're really sad it can make you sleepy.'

Cece gets up. 'Should I go tell her that we're home? Maybe she'll be happy to know that we're here.'

'Maybe later sweetie. Let's just leave mommy alone for awhile tonight ok?'

'Ok.'

'I love you Cece.'

'Love you too daddy.'

Jim goes into the kitchen and pulls out his phone. He calls his mom.

Betsy Halpert answers right away. 'Hi honey, how are you?'

'Hi mom. Actually things have been better.'

'Oh no. What's going on?'

'Pam's grandmother passed away today.'

'Oh no honey. I'm so sorry. How is she doing?'

Jim sighs. 'She's been better. She's having a hard time. She's sleeping right now.'

'Yeah, it's not easy losing someone you're close too. Would it be helpful if I come and pick up the kids for the night?'

'Mom, you read my mind.'

'I'll be there in a bit.'

'Thanks mom.' Jim hangs up and goes out to the living room where the kids are still coloring and watching a movie.

'Hey guys. Grandma is coming over and you're going to stay with her and grandpa tonight.'

The kids get excited. 'Yeah!'

'Yeah! Let's go pack some clothes and toys for you to take, ok?'

The kids get up and run to their rooms and Jim follows them to help them pack up some stuff.

A little while later he hears his mom knocking at the door and he goes to the door to let her in.

'Hi mom.'

Betsy Halpert leans in and gives Jim a hug and kisses his cheek. 'Hello sweetheart. How are you doing?'

'I am ok. I'm just worried about Pam.'

'I know. You go and stay with her and don't worry about the kids.'

Cece and Phillip see their grandma and go running to her. She leans down and hugs and kisses them.

'Hi guys. Are you excited to stay with me and grandpa tonight?'

'Yeah!'

'Ok, let's get your stuff.'

The kids pick up their things and Jim picks up Phillip and walks the kids out to his mom's car. He helps her move the car seats into her car and kisses the kids goodbye.

'Bye guys. Have fun at grandma and grandpa's and be good.'

Cece says 'Ok daddy. We will. Bye bye!'

'Love you both!'

'Love you too daddy!'

Jim then leans down to the driver's side window and talks to his mom. 'Thanks so much mom. I really appreciate this. I know Pam does too.'

'Of course. Tell Pam we're sorry and we love her. Let me know if there is anything else we can do, or if the kids should stay longer.'

'Ok. Thanks mom.'

He watches her drive away and goes back in the house. he goes back to the master bedroom and sees that Pam is still sleeping. He goes over to his side of the bed, sits down and takes off his shoes. He lays down and puts his arm around his sleeping wife. After a moment Pam stirs and opens her eyes. 'Jim?'

'Hi honey, I didn't mean to wake you up.'

'That's ok. I probably have slept too much anyway.'

'Your body just needed the rest.'

'I guess. Where are the kids?'

'My mom came and picked them up for the night. Even the weekend if needed.'

'Awww, that was nice of them.'

'Yeah, well mom said she wants you to know that they love you and thinks we should have the night together without worrying about the kids.'

'I'll have to thank her later.'

'Cece was worried about you. I told her you were sad and tired. I wasn't sure what else to tell her.'

Pam sighs. 'I don't know what to tell them. How do you tell kids about death?'

'I don't know honey. We will figure it out.'

'Yeah.' She looks at his shirt and holds onto his arm.

'Are you ok honey?'

'I don't know. I still can not believe she's gone. When I came home I laid down and started crying and couldn't stop, I guess I cried myself to sleep. Did you put the blanket over me?'

'Yes. I didn't want you to get cold.'

'You're so sweet. So thoughtful. I love you.'

'I love you too baby.'

'I know, but I mean it. I really love you.'

'I really love you too Beesly.'

'I was thinking about the last time I spoke with meemaw. I know I said 'I love you' when I was done talking to her, but I don't know when was the last time I really told her what she meant to me.'

'I'm sure she knew honey.'

'I hope so. I know she came off as old-fashioned and so set in her ways, but she really loved her family.'

'I know she did. She really loved you and was so proud of you.'

'I remember when I was little and grandpa was still alive Penny and I would stay over there, and she really let her guard down and would just paly with us for hours. The silliest stuff. We used to make forts out of sheets and blankets.'

'That sounds like fun.'

Pam smiles at the memory. 'It was. You know after Phillip was born she said something about you.'

Jim is surprised. He didn't think Sylvia even thought about him. 'She did? What?'

'Yeah. She said that she was really glad that I married you. That you are a really good man. You treat me really well and you obviously really love me. Of course, she also said that she was upset with you for getting me pregnant before we married.'

Jim smiles. 'Of course. Wow! That sounds like high praise coming from her.'

'It was. She loved you. And she's right, you are a really good man.'

Jim kisses Pam's forehead. 'Well, she was also right that I really love you.'

'I guess I've just realized that I need to tell people I care about that I love them everyday and how much I love them. Starting with you.'

'Oh honey.'

'Jim I have never loved anyone as much as I love you.'

'That's how I feel about you Beesly.'

'I mean it Jim. I don't think I ever told you what I felt years ago when you were in Stamford.'

'You don't have to honey.'

'I want to.'

'Ok.'

'When you left I felt like there was a hole in me that I couldn't fill. Roy couldn't do it, work couldn't, my friends and family couldn't, art classes helped a little, but not enough. When you came back the hole started filling up again. Then when we got together the hole completely filled up. I felt whole again. Does that make sense?'

'Are you saying, I complete you?'

'Well, yeah. It's too bad that phrase is so overused.'

'You complete me too Pam. It's like we're two pieces of a puzzle that only fit together.'

'Hmmm, I like that.'

'Well, I thought it a long time ago. I guess I never said it out loud.'

Pam looks at him for a minute and tears start filling her eyes again.

'Oh honey, what can I do for you? Do you want something to eat, or some tea?'

Pam shakes her head no. 'Just hold me please.'

Jim wraps his arms around his crying wife and holds her while she buries her face in his chest. 'I'm so sorry Beesly. I wish there was something I could say or do to help take this all away for you.'

Pam continues to cry while he holds her for a few more minutes. Finally she lifts her head and looks at him. She kisses him more passionately then she had done in awhile. She pulls back and looks at him again.
'Please Jim.'

Jim doesn't question what her plea means. He rolls her onto her back and kisses the tears that are drying on her face.

They take each others clothes off while kissing and touching as two people who know more about the other than they do about themselves can do.

Jim holds her and massages her arms while she takes off his underwear.

'Are you ready honey?'

'I'm always ready for you Jim.'

Once again he kisses her face all over as he gently enters her.

As soon as he enters her Pam feels a rush of love from him all directed towards her at that moment. She almost feels overwhelmed by the feeling. She automatically wraps her legs around his back and lifts her hips to meet him as he moves in her. She soon feels her eyes fill up with tears again and lets them flow freely out of her eyes as her husband makes love to her.

'Jim! I love you!'

With that exclamation she feels herself climax and rides out her orgasm as she watches her husband reach his own climax.

'Oh God Pam, honey.'

When their breathing starts to return to normal Pam realizes that she is still crying. Jim pulls her to him and rolls onto his back so she's laying on his chest.

'I'm sorry. I can't stop crying. It isn't because of what we just did.'

'I know Beesly. This is just what you need right now. I have no problem with us doing that. I'm just here for whatever you need.'

'I know.' She realizes that her tears are soaking his chest so she raises her head and looks at him. 'I don't know what I did to deserve you, but meemaw was right, you are such a good man. You're so good to me.'

'I know if it was me grieving that you would be there for me too. I'll always be here for you Mrs. Halpert.'

She smiles lightly at him. 'If I haven't said it enough tonight, I love you.'

'I love you too Pam.'

Pam lays back down on his chest and falls asleep in his embrace.

Chapter End Notes:
I've been through grief a lot, so this was kind of cathartic for me to help Pam through a hard time in her life. Hope it wasn't too depressing.


Thats what she said is the author of 4 other stories.
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