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Nellie: Happy birthday Pam!!!!

Meredith: Have a great one kid

Angela: Many happy returns

Holly: Happy happy birthday Pam!

Pam sleepily blinked her eyes open and reached for her phone to check her messages. After spending the night away with Jim at a hotel in San Antonio, she'd really hoped to sleep in, but her internal body clock wasn't letting her. She scrolled through the various messages, including a video of the kids that her mom had sent, and played it as quietly as she could.

"Whyyouawake?" Jim mumbled as he rolled over to spoon Pam, having been woken by the sound of the video of his squealing children. 

"Sorry," she whispered, pressing a kiss to his cheek as she rolled over.

"Happy birthday baby," he croaked, bending down to kiss her and push her on her back. She wrapped her arms around him, pushed her fingers through his hair, and forgot all about her phone.

-- 

After a leisurely morning spent in bed, followed by breakfast in the hotel, Jim and Pam spent the morning exploring downtown San Antonio. They walked hand in hand along the River Walk sipping coffees, visited the Public Art Garden and spent hours in the galleries and boutiques of La Villita choosing Pam's birthday present. 

While Pam was looking at the 15th silk scarf of the morning, trying to decide whether or not this was the one she wanted Jim to buy her, he received a work call and ducked outside to answer it. After deciding that it most definitely wasn't the right scarf, Pam wandered outside to see Jim sitting on a bench talking on his phone. She went over the bench and sat down next to him, taking out her own phone to finally reply to her messages.

Pam: Thanks guys!!! Having SUCH A GREAT DAY!

Nellie: How's the hotel? 

Pam: Oh it's so amazing. This whole place is. Can't believe how long we've lived in Texas for and never been here before 

Holly: Oh I'm so happy you're having a great day! What did Jim get you? 

Pam: We're on the hunt for a silk scarf at the moment

Meredith: Oh is that what you guys are into? 

Angela: What does that mean?

Meredith: Like tying each other up and stuff. Is that your kink? 

Pam: Um, what? I just want a scarf haha 

Meredith: I bet Jim's into feet. He strikes me like a foot guy. Does he like a toe job? 

Pam: Meredith!! 

Angela: What's a toe job?

Meredith: You know, like sucking toes. Getting your toes sucked.

Nellie: Oh no, I bet he's more into blindfolds and stuff 

Holly: No she told us at Christmas remember? He's into toys 

Meredith: Oh yeahhh and you bought him that thing you found for his Christmas gift. I remember now. 

Pam flushed red at the conversation as Jim flashed a smile at her, mouthing ‘sorry' and pointing to the phone. She shook her head slightly, mouthing ‘no worries' back at him. 

Pam: Ok we definitely not talking about my husband's kinks at 2pm on a Friday afternoon. 

Holly: Hehe!

Angela: I quite agree

Meredith: You're no fun

Nellie: So what are you doing for the rest of your birthday?

Pam: We're heading home later tonight and going out for dinner. Then tomorrow Jim's got the kids all day, and I'm going to a spa with my mom. 

Holly: That sounds amazing. I'm so jealous 

Nellie: God yes. I definitely could use some relaxation in a spa 

Meredith: Think your massage will come with a happy ending? 

Angela: Oh for goodness sake 

--

The following evening, Pam returned home to a bedraggled Jim, slumped at the kitchen table, as both kids stared at their own iPads, shovelling boxed mac and cheese into their mouths.

"You ok babe?" she asked as she placed a kiss on the top of his head.

"They killed me. Like I'm dead. So dead. I don't know how you do it," Jim groaned, resting his head on top of his folded arms.

"What can I say, I'm Wonder Woman," she laughed. "Did you make it to the story session at the library?"

"No. Phil had a meltdown and Cece refused to get her shoes on, would only wear her slippers. So we all spent some time in the thinking corner, and eventually we went to the park. Oh, but not before three more meltdowns at the store when we went to pick up the groceries. And then when we got home, Phil dropped his new Captain America toy in the toilet as he was peeing. So that was fun. Why is nothing easy with kids?"

"So you thought anymore about?" she asked, making a scissoring motion with her fingers.

Jim winced and immediately his hands shot down to his crotch. "I know, I know. I will. It's just. It's gonna hurt so bad."

"You know I pushed two children out of me, without any pain relief. This is nothing, You can have it done on your lunch break." 

"I'll call the doctor next week." 

"You said that last week," she said with a raised eyebrow. "I'm just gonna take a shower to wash all this oil off of me. I'll be down in 20. That ok?" 

"Hurry back," he pleaded. 

Pam laughed to herself as she left the kitchen and headed up the stairs, pausing to grab her phone from her purse in the foyer. She groaned at the 231 messages she'd missed whilst she been gone all day, and quickly tried to catch up.

Pam: Sorry, I've been out all day, just caught up

Pam: Meredith I'm sorry you're having such a hard time with Jake

Pam: Nellie, have you tried the pacifier fairy? 

Pam: Holly, I'm gonna need you to get Michael to talk to Jim again

Nellie: No, what's that? 

Pam: It's this story that you read them, and at the end, they put their pacifier on a table and in the morning it gets replaced with a present from the fairy and then if they want the pacifier back, they have to give the present back. And they never want to. Works a treat

Angela: Or you just maybe shouldn't have given him a pacifier in the first place

Meredith: I'm telling you. Boys are just shits. Men are shits. Just when I think he can't get worse he does.

Nellie: It's not like I had a choice, he came with one! 

Nellie: Oh god, is there no hope for Ben then Meredith?

Meredith: Probably not

Pam: Don't say that. Phil is pretty good most of the time. Although I think he gave Jim the runaround today

Holly: Oh how was he watching both of them? And what do you need Michael to talk to him about?

Pam: The snip!

Pam: I think after today he's definitely doesn't want anymore kids 

Meredith: Don't blame him.  

Angela: Even Dwight struggles to look after both of the kids on his own. I don't know what it is with men and trying to look after children

Meredith: Hear that? Even Dwight

Holly: It's totally the opposite in our house. I'm the one that struggles to look after them! Michael's a natural. I don't know how he does it 

Pam: But Michael is....Michael

Holly: I totally lost it today while he was at his improv class. The kids were driving me crazy. I almost got in the car and drove to come see you Pam

Pam: You know our guest bedroom is always ready and waiting for you!

Nellie: I might come too. If this pacifier thing doesn't work out, I'm gonna need an escape plan. 

Pam: Oh we should totally organise a get together. It's been so long since we were all together. We're heading to Scranton next month for Jim's mom's birthday, maybe we can organise something? Holly, could you fly in?

Holly: Oh I'll definitely make it work. And you know Michael would jump at the chance to say hi. We could definitely use a break

Nellie: Tell me about it. I feel like I've been tired for two years

Meredith: Try 24 years!!

Angela: You're welcome to stay at Shrute Farms, I'm sure I can talk Dwight out of charging you for the night 

Holly: Oh that would be great!

Pam: Oh I think we'll stay with Jim's parents, but thank you for the offer. But this sounds great!

Pam: Will be so nice to see you guys. Maybe we can try and see some of the others from the office too while we're in town  

Nellie: Oh you know who I bumped into today in the drug store? Erin. She was looking at pregnancy tests. She said her and Pete have been trying for a little while

Pam: Oh wow! 

Nellie: I was thinking we should invite her to this group

Holly: I think we'd scare her before she's even had the kid 

Meredith: Yeah, we're like the best kind of birth control there is. They won't be trying anymore after speaking to us

Angela: Perhaps we wait until she's had a baby

Pam: Yeah good idea 

Pam: Alright, I'm meant to be showering. I'll chat to you guys later! 

--

"Beesly, are you ever going to go to sleep?" Jim sleepily asked as he rolled over to spoon Pam later that night. He was met with silence, and then a giggle to herself. "Pam?" he tried again.

"Huh? Oh, yeah sorry," she said over her shoulder, her eyes not leaving her phone. "Two minutes." 

Pam: Omg I didn't realise the time, I gotta go to sleep guys

Meredith: Sleep or bone town?

Angela: Meredith that's vile. 

Nellie: Oh no, you should most definitely do Jim. I would if I were there

Holly: Same. But don't tell Michael.

Pam: Ok, goodnight guys

Nellie: Night Pam! Xxxx 

Holly: Night!!

Angela: Goodnight.

Meredith: https://tenor.com/view/jim-carey-dancing-yes-gif-13028413 



MrsKHalpert is the author of 37 other stories.
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