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Pseudonyms, Please: High-Grade Sashimi 

Email: daddy@dilfwrld.com

Subject: J. Crew Model???

Message: A recently engaged hottie who gave up a VP position in the company to be with his soon-to-be wife is rumored to be a part-time model for J.Crew. I remember seeing him when he visited our branch disguised as a warehouse worker. He looked hot even with that fake mustache so I'm not shocked to find out he's done billboard ads for such a big clothing brand. 

Speaking of that visit, our boss (whom he used to date) told us that he came all the way to Utica to try and win her back but she was having none of it. Seems weird that she wouldn't take someone that gorgeous back (and I heard she cried over him for weeks when he dumped her), but who am I to question her sanity?  

There were rumors circulating that it was actually his boss who's the model but I find that very hard to believe. The man drinks his scotch with a spoonful of splenda. And he called me "sugarboobs" when he visited our branch for a second time. If that doesn't kill your lady boner, I don't know what will. 

P.S. I also heard his fiancée's pregnant. No wonder they're getting married! He's definitely gonna be a big DILF when that baby is born.


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