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Pseudonyms, Please: Scranton Strangler

Email: costa@rica.com 

Subject: Human Relations? I don't think so 

Message: So the word is out, turns out this guy that claims he has a daughter, is a virgin. I mean, it kinda checks out because he lies so much. Like how can this guy who's worked at a certain paper company for YEARS, also have been a monk, and worked in advertising AND he's been to college to get a degree in social work? Yeah, I don't think so. 

Plus, he's got it SO bad for a certain reception that I can't imagine he'd have even done it with anyone else while he was jonesing for her. Oh, which totally reminds me, I heard from someone he totally touched her knee and was so embarrassed about it that he moved to another country. My man, if you can't even touch a girl's knee, how the hell you banging her??

This guy SAYS he meets girls at the gym, but have you seen how skinny he's got recently? Yeah there's no way he's doing any workouts of any kind, if you catch my drift. I guess the rumors are true that the only way that he can get a girl is if he pays her to go out with him. But I heard he's a little too into his choking fetish, and THAT'S the real reason he's still got his V plates.