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Pseudonyms, Please: Office Mattress

Email: exreceptionist@pratt.com

Subject: Big Tuna's Little Swimmers Won First Place

Message: Miss ‘Doesn't Want to Live With Her Boyfriend Before She Gets Engaged' apparently got knocked up before she got married. Some people might call that baby a bastard. I mean, I wouldn't, but some people might.

I was at this little hospital a few weeks back getting a check up for                         (please blank out) and I saw Little Miss Thing and her hot fiancé there. The doctor called him in and they got some news that made them a little more emotional than a broken bone would make you. Unless it's that bone that gets broken. I guess that's why they moved up the wedding. More of a shotgun wedding now. Let's just hope the baby doesn't get his nose.