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Pseudonyms, Please: Mr Poop 

Email: monkeytrainer@recyclops.com 

Subject: Real manure? False

Message: I saw your Scranton Spotted post the other week and I can totally confirm it. I was on my way to Lake Wallenpaupack and saw this guy lugging big bags of manure from a store. He was definitely trying to stay undercover, but he was wearing a bright green bandana and had on these big sunglasses that looked like they had an extra eye in the middle of them. You could easily tell who it was though, definitely wasn't as incognito as he thought he was.

From what I've heard, he goes around telling everyone that it's his own manure, but I know for a fact that he makes hamburgers by taking meat out of his horses while they're still alive. Totally inhumane and who the hell wants to eat a horse burger?? Anyway, the horses aren't even strong enough to produce the amount of manure you'd need for a 60-acre farm.